Day 39

Today we got a whole day to have TAWG (time alone with God)
like 8 hours of free time basically!!

here at GLDI we learned how to manage our time wisely...
yet I don't know how time just goes by so quickly for me. like literally I don't know what I did in the last 8 hours that made it go by so fast. I planned to catch up on reading and other things. but here's what I remember from my day.

I went in to do an interview (with video cameras and everything)
apparently what I said was good but my eyes kept doing crazy wandering while I was talking.
here's the final video. puahaha my voice is in it, but not my face

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlgLoNnb_ms&feature=plcp

then I had talking time with Dr. Kim and I told him how I wanted to blow up counseling (in a good way) and I told him what his wife told me ahahaha (what she thought about secular counseling)... and he was like what?! he has never heard her use that kind of language before... mmm I feel so special...

I also told him about how I learned in government class in high school about how Alaska is one of the wealthiest states in this nation...which surprised me back then cause I thought all there was in Alaska was snow...and then I asked him (since he was the economic advisor to I believe two? of the governors in Alaska) if he had anything to do with this. he explained to me about oil and fish and other things, but then he smiled, eyes twinkling, and said "maybe"

I am blessed that this very accomplished man laid down his life for a bunch of college students. I hope that I too would have God's favor on my life and that I would prosper in whatever I do and that everything and everyone around me would be blessed. soar on eagle's wings. shhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa

and then I was supposed to spend time with God. but I ended up mmmm "resting" in His presence. literally.
I cleaned my room ahaha. and then I was like lemme just lie down on my bed for a min. and next thing I know I'm waking up for dinner.

For evening session Dr. Kim spoke about how he overcame cancer (the rare kind of lymphoma). he also wrote about this in his book Winter & Me. check it out.

but yeah....wow so I was sick for a day and I made a huge deal about it...I can't image having to go through chemo and other painful things for an entire year. but he was able to endure the pain and fight it with God's strength. and although people around him were dying and his chance of living wasn't likely.
he knew he was going to live.

because apparently during that time. God gave him a vision for GLDI.
and he knew that God's visions always come through.

GLDI. I wonder why God really wanted this institute to be created. and maybe years from now I'll realize how blessed I was to be a part of it.

Day 38

Monday July 30th 2012

Today Dr. Soon Ja Choi spoke about using resources wisely. ahaha she's sucha cute grandma. she's a doctor (probably loaded) but she's wearing an entire outfit that costs less than $10. she buys most of her clothes at garage sales and gives her money away. wow....amazing.

I've been thrifting these days too. except I'm not sure if it actually saves money or if I've spending the same amount ^_^" but I shall make a commitment to continue giving. DONT FORGET.
it's better to give than to receive. I hope this is true.

but yeah she talked about how we waste so much. and I remember I was reading the pamphlet about the animal farms and I was so upset that I almost became a vegan! but I'm a natural carnivore (literally the doctor said my body type is red: the type that craves meat).

I realized that the realistic (or preferred) solution is not to stop eating meat. it's to stop wasting meat. that way meat production can be reduced and the animals won't have to suffer so much TT.TT

always this world, especially this country is about excess! abundance is good, when you have the resources for it. but when your resources are scarce then we gotta manage it well or pray that God will overflow.

For afternoon session I think Dr. Choi was going to share her testimony but she began with asking our generation for forgiveness (because of the mistakes that the first generation have made) and then she was so overwhelmed that she couldn't continue speaking. wow..so powerful. my heart just ajfafjalkfjaljga.

I know that the first gen hurt us alot. growing up with the cultural barrier and miscommunications. yeah at times I thought I was going to go crazy. but it's in the past now. I forgive my parents. and I also need to ask forgiveness from them because the second gen: we've been disrespectful and spoiled. we never been through wars, famine. never knew what it means to have to work hard for survival. never learned to appreciate.

I think God really wants to reconcile our relationships as Rev. Danny also mentioned. it's going to take alot of patience and understanding. and prayer. but it can be done! DONT FORGET.

Lastly Ms. Chong-Ae Shah came to talk to us about IJM (International Justice Mission) and the work that they do. destroying the works of darkness in this world!

I love this poem. I read it in one of the Chicken Noodle Soup books.
ack I wish I knew what the title of it was. but basically it's this person asking (or complaining) to God why He let all this injustice in the world happen and why He's not doing anything about it. and at the end of the poem God answers something along the lines of I did do something about it. I created you.

alot of people can talk about injustice this and that. but not alot of people actually do something about it.
I pray that I would be one of the people who actually do.

goodnight.

Day 37

Sunday July 29th 2012

Today we went to Sarang Church. ahhhhh it was so awesome. apparently it's one of the biggest Korean churches in the nation.

Rev. Stephen Chong spoke. I love it when he speaks. he was trained under a prodigy black minister. so he's real passionate when he preaches and it's on point. can I get an amen.

What he spoke about was really similar to what we saw in the Father of Lights movie. basically about the presence and power that we carry.

mmmhmm when I go to a place. I bless it. I bless the land. The daughter of God is here! to destroy darkness and bring the light wherever I go. better watch out!

realizing the authority that you have really changes your perspective on alot of things. and perspective is very powerful. I also used to be somewhat fearful though that if I am destroying the works of the enemy, I have a target on my back. in fact that's probably why many pastors, missionaries, believers get spiritually attacked.

but I found the secret. mwahahahahaha. if you spend time in the presence of God daily. you are safe! His presence is like a shield for us. can't afford to go one day without being in His presence.

can't touch me. nananananaananananananaa.

He prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemies :)

after church we go to Dr. Chun's house for a pool party/BBQ!!! oh myyyyyyyy it was so funnnn and I'm gaining so much weight because the food was soooo good. seriously they spoil us.

life is good :]
(for now) and even if things happen. I've got an indescribable joy in me.

goodnight.

Day 36

Saturday July 28, 2012

Rise and Shine. no sleeping in this Sat because we are going to our service projects.
location: Skid Row, L.A. (contains the largest homeless population)

our team has to paint the walls inside this building. I didn't want to get paint on my clothes, so I came up with the genius idea of wearing a garbage bag.

but since no one else was wearing one...I kinda stuck out.  people were taking pictures with me like I was some sort of thing in a costume -.- and even worse they thought that they could paint on my garbage bag!

me (in my fashionable trash bag) and Nara

not cool man...but nonetheless it was a good idea because the bag saved my clothes many times. I know myself and how I am with paint. very dangerous.

Afterwards we went to literally the best green tea bingsoo place ever. I was sooooooooo happpyyyy.

and then when we came back there was a surprise for dinner.

so....I mentioned before that the key to my heart is food. and God has been showing His love for me with food here. I kid you not. for example. I wanted green tea bingsoo, and I ate the best one. wanted hamburgers and got one fresh off the grill (what are the chances that a school cafeteria would have an outdoor grill) and this time while we were watching the fish market video during lecture, I really really reallllyyyy wanted salmon rolls.

well it just so happens that one of the student's parents here owns a sushi restaurant. and they brought boxes and boxes of salmon rolls today for dinner.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ^_______^ GOD IS SOOOOO GOOOOOOD!!!!

so many boxes of sushi!

after our feast. we presented our Nation Building projects. everyone did really well. especially since I didn't have to present. and my Mango Land idea was received quite well. it would be crazy one day if Mango Land would actually be built in Haiti....with God all things are possible.

after the Nation Building presentations. I try to get everyone to watch the movie Father of Lights. to be honest it's really out of my character to even try to organize something like this. first the dvd was sent to my house and so I had to ask my dad to ship it here. then I had to ask Cathy if we could watch it in the lecture room. and then I had to make an announcement about it. (aha it's not that much work but usually I wouldn't go out of the way for something like this)

but I really wanted people to watch it because I know that this movie would reveal something about the character of God. alot of times we have such a distorted view of the character of God. but I want people to know that He is good and I want us all to trust Him. not just with our minds but with our hearts.

at first I was kind of discouraged because in the beginning it was just me and Grace Han watching it. but I trusted God. He wouldn't have inspired me to go through all that otherwise. And so about 15min into the movie more and more people started coming in. in total there were probably around 12 people. but still I'm glad that 12 people were really touched by it.

after the movie was over. it was sooooooo good btw. especially the ending. Diana led us into prayer. and the prayer time was really powerful.

mehehehe I knew I could trust God. but I have even greater expectations. because I'm hoping that the rest of the students here and even the staff would watch it before we leave. and that truly we would be able to see that we are the children of a great and mighty God.

goodnight.

Day 35

Friday July 27th 2012

the day has arrived. we are to run 2 miles.
I made a commitment that I would not stop no matter what happens. keep running until I either finish or pass out.

puahaha I would have to say that I only keep about 20% of the commitments I make. (the number is actually probably lower) for example. I made a commitment to only eat icecream on fridays, except on thurs night when I saw that green tea icecream bar, I literally sprinted to it and pushed people out of the way for it.

and I have made many commitments before our 1 mile run to run without stopping. but aha....I stopped alot.

so how am I going to do 2miles even I can't even do 1......

I realized that yesterday I made a commitment to study, but I was like man....knowing me. I'll say I'll do it and then I won't even buy my textbooks.

today is the day though that I make a really difficult commitment and follow through.
before I ran I prayed that the Holy Spirit would run with me and encourage me.
so I ran and ran and ran. and then halfway at the one mile mark I was like ohhhh myyyyy.
as my calves were burning, lungs about to explode. I remembered how God has been with me all my life. And though I could never pay him back. I want to do something. to persevere and finish strong.
And so I kept running. And HS was encouraging me. and then kekekekekeke. I was like well I know that God knows all things, but sometimes Jesus gets surprised so I'm going to surprise Jesus. I mean he knows me pretty well by now and he probably thinks that I won't be able to finish 2miles without stopping, but I'm going to surprise him today! because Rebekah So is full of surprises.

and I kept running and running. and then before I knew it I was at the end.
for the first time in my life I ran 2 miles without stopping.
my time was 21 min and 13 seconds. ahahahahaha not very good. but hopefully God looks at the attitude more than my performance ability. so proud ^_____^

Things I learned today from the lectures:

Leadership is relationship. The most important thing as a leader is to build good relationships with those you are leading and I also suppose the other leaders around you. That's one of the things that I really learned from my short time as a leader and even back home. Having good relationships protects the unity of the group because you can get away with a lot more stuff puahahahaha. meaning there's less room for misunderstandings and if there is a conflict of some sort you can resolve it much quicker. plus there's also more room for honesty and you can be yourself. really build that trust and friendship with those around you.

A quote I really like that was mentioned by Dr. Ventrella: "God has saved us from something, for something"

I've really been learning for the past year that God not only has plans to bless me alone, but also to bless those around me. In the same way He blessed Abraham with the plans to bless all the nations.

Something I wrote last year (it's in the thoughts section of my blog titled: Don't Waste Your Life)
The best times in my life I would have to say were when I was there for someone else:  a family member, a friend, a complete stranger. Because when you see the impact you have, the value of your life increases. When you see lives being changed in front of your very eyes, you wonder, man what if I had never been born? Would this person be the same without me? It’s not really to puff up your ego, but during those hard times when you wish you had never been born, you remember that there is someone out there who is indeed very thankful that you were. 


I understand Apostle Paul when he said that he'd rather be in heaven but at the same time he wanted to be with the people. Whenever I get in a car or plane or etc. I never worry about dying because I know that my time here in this world is not finished yet, God has alot of people I still need to meet and I hope that we can be mutually encouraged.

Tonight in our family group we all went around and complimented each other. it took like 2 hours but it was worth it. mehehehe I recorded mine. I keep it foreverrrrrrr and listen to it when I need encouragement.

Let us finish this race together with the power of love.

goodnight.

Day 34

Thursday, July 26th 2012

Wow...GLDI is already coming to an end. I feel like I'm just getting used to the pace and getting to know everybody. ackkkk. but I'm kinda excited to go home and sleep in :)

Today's post is going to be kinda short. I just want to focus on Dr. Kim's testimony.

In a previous post I mentioned that I want to BAM! change the field of Pyschology, especially the way that people do counseling. aha I love how Dr. Kim's wife put it "it's a bunch of bs"
but in order to do that I need to have some credibility in this field. because honestly even though Psych is my major I know nothing about it except Sigmund Freud. and everybody knows about Freud.

the reason for this is that I hardly ever study. goes back to my middle school years when I was so sick of being the nerdy one in school and people copying my hw/tests that I made this act of being ditzy. unfortunately it kinda stuck to this day....but yes it's true I'm secretly really smart. so that's how I'm able to get through school. relying on natural intelligence and refined test taking skills. but I don't learn anything, I just know how to get good grades.

Dr. Kim's story broke my heart because he would walk 2 1/2 hours to his lectures and 2 1/2 back. not only that. he never missed a lecture. he had such a passion for learning. I, on the other hand, complain that I have to walk 10 min, have skipped so many lectures and during lectures I play phone games or doodle. He studies his butt off, one time he wrote this study guide: 200 pages per review question. total it was thousands of pages of his own notes. wow......................I get frustrated if I even have to write one page.

I'm doing this thing where I try to think of everything in a positive way. so Dr. Kim's story I hope instead of making me feel like crap. I want to remember it and be motivated everytime I don't want to study (well first I actually need to get the textbook for the class to study cause most times I don't ^^")

I really don't want to waste the gifts and talents that God has given me. And I'm thankful for Dr. Kim's testimony but I'm also thankful that I went through this period of lack of motivation because I know that my ambition to study is a holy ambition: honestly I don't care about my reputation (I actually didn't want people to think I was smart) or achievements. Also really smart people tend to be socially awkward, but I got to develop my social skills ^___^  God doesn't waste anything.

It's time to bust out my thinking cap and bring out the studious asian in me. so that the gospel may take over the field of Psychology. because only God can bring true healing and transformation from the inside out.

P.S. I broke the no icecream except on Fridays rule. they had green tea icecream and I literally jumped over couches and knocked people out the way for it. as my family group members were yelling at me not to give in. ah.....so much for commitment

but keep me accountable! and pray for me please. don't forget Rebekah. this is a commitment that you actually need to keep.

goodnight.

Stalking is okay in the daytime

[Interview with Dr. John C. Kim by his son Paul]

Dr. Kim: I followed her from a distance
Paul: That's a euphemism for stalking
Dr. Kim: It was daytime so it's okay

My precious butt

[Grace tries to smack Nara's butt]

Nara: Ahhh! my precious butt
it's only for my husband.

Day 33

mwhahaha I'm excited to post up the pics that we took today. so asiannnnnnn.
our family group has to make a year book page (i know we get a year book! i hope we sign it like we did in middle school: you rock. stay the same)

room 102 super cuties

my roomie Diana and me

mehehe I was tired so I was in the power walking group during morning exercise. but I hear that this week we have to run 2 miles!!!! I don't think I've ever ran more than a mile. 2 miles is going to take me 40min -.-

today we are fasting lunch. so I went a lil crazy during breakfast. still I was so hungry during lectures I was going to pass out. but Rev. Danny Han was so on point. he talked about how in the korean american church there is this generational tension between the 1st generation Koreans and the 2nd generation Koreans because 1st gen is all about sacrifice and hardwork while 2nd gen is about balance. he explained that because of this broken relationship the 2nd gen is missing out on the inheritance from the 1st gen. we have a lot to learn from each other and I hope that we'll be more respectable to our parents' gen.

he also shared with us his personal testimony of him reconciling with his father and how he was able to then receive love from Father God. I know I struggled with this so much growing up. I knew that God loved me in my mind but in my heart I never believed it. but if we don't believe with all our hearts that God loves us then we'll never be able to love ourselves, others, and God Himself.

God is so good. I just wish I knew more of how good He really is and I want us all to know.
I got the Father of Lights dvd sent to me here!! and I asked the staff if we could watch it in the lecture room on Sat night. hopefully people will be willing to watch it. and I hope this documentary reveals more of God's goodness and His character.

here's the trailer. watch it!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKpPVkHlDQU

after lectures we all rushed to dinner...and I guess I went a little too crazy cause I ate this giant hotdog, hamburger, fried rice, chili, and fries. wow.....

I had a mentoring session with Dr. Kim's wife (my grandma role model!!) and she talked for like 85% of the time while i ate. hehehe and she's such a bad influence, she convinced me to eat a cookie even though I'm not supposed eat desserts except on Fridays.

but her stories were so funny and cool. her life is truly a testimony of God's grace. and I want mine to be too. while I was talking to her I actually found out what I want to do! I don't know how but at least now I have an idea. I want to change how people do counseling. I feel like alot of psychological counseling is probably not helpful, and is a bunch of bs (especially all those medications etc.) No matter how good the counselor or therapy is: without the gospel, there cannot be any lasting, complete transformation. I want to change the field to include the One who can truly heal from the inside out. I want to be a healer. not just physically but emotionally, mentally, spiritually. everything.

aha i realize as I'm writing this. it's like deja vu because I think I wrote this on my other blog about Korea (120 days). wow...so this is why I wanted to study psychology. I totally forget. humans need to be reminded. but now that I am reminded (hopefully this time I will remember) I hope that I will pray more about this vision and work hard in school!

Dr. Os Guinness spoke for evening session. and as usual we did not understand most of it. but I did get one thing. He reminded us that humans are unique because they are made in God's image. this got me thinking again about psychology, because psychologist believe that humans are animals, but we believe that humans are unique from animals because we can have a relationship with God. this view could really change many theories, especially the ones that are based on research on animals.

oh ho ho ho i'm excited. Ms. Rebekah So the secret agent in the field of psychology. I'm going to blow it up and throw everything into chaos mwahahahaha. don't forget.

tonight!!! we got to have family group meeting at yogurt land. Cathy (staff) took us there and bought us all froyo. so niceeee ^__^ the staff here show the true meaning of servanthood. but yeahh we were asking her questions and she said that never in her life did she think that she would be serving for 12 years at GLDI. but she has learned to be faithful with the small things and that God can use anything.

and so whether it's cleaning the church bathrooms, buying the future leaders of the world froyo, writing a book or starting a revival. God sees our hearts in all that we do and He can multiply it. Let us be forever faithful to Him, serving Him with joyful and sincere hearts.

goodnight.

Day 32

Tuesday, July 24th 2012

This morning there was no running. instead we did this crazy hard workout, which I confess my participation level was probably 35% at best. but even with 35% participation level my thighs were burning.

one of the guys during morning exercise tore a ligament and had to go to the hospital. as I praying for him on my own (I didn't have the guts to pray for him directly) it really got me thinking about how powerless I felt. it's like we're supposed to the salt and light of this world. we're the ones who's supposed to go out and heal and raise people from the dead. we talk about how great God is, all the things He can do. etc...and yet we trust physicians and medicine more than we trust God's power and His love for us.

But I had a lot of peace. I remember a couple months ago I surrendered this thought to God. I admitted that I honestly don't believe. not that He can do it. I know He can, I don't deny any of the testimonies that I've heard. I just don't believe that He will. that He will do it for me, for someone I know.

I also realized that though signs, miracles, and wonders are great. Having a proven character is even more important. John the Baptist never did a miracle, yet Jesus considered him to have been the greatest man born of a woman. But at the same time I asked God, how do we expect to demonstrate that He is all-powerful and that the gospel is true without the backing of the Holy Spirit. why is it that the church today looks so different from the church in the book of Acts. even though technically we are all one.

I guess right now I need to keep seeking yet have patience. I'm sure when the time comes, God will reveal more. I thank Him for all the times that He has demonstrated His power and love, and for the times that He didn't I thank Him even more that I learned to love Him for who He is and not for what He can do for me.

Actually, He gave His one and only Son for me, so He doesn't need to do anything else. He could be completely justified in never answering a single prayer, but He lavishes His love and provisions on me.

yayyyyyyyyyy ^_______^ I'm the luckiest girl in the world. (or I should say. my life is a testimony of God's grace)

Dr. Os spoke again today. eh hehehe...he's so smart that if you don't pay attention for even one second, you'll get lost. I tried to pay attention, but I was really focused on my eagle drawing.

but I did get a lot of good quotes. mmm most notably.
"we should be in the world, but not of the world"

let that sink in....like slow sand.

I've been filled with so much joy lately still. I would think by now it would wear off or something. but it's here to stay! perhaps it has something to do with worship. these days I've really been delighting in worship. I skipped breakfast today cause I wanted to pray and worship. but God had by back. my friend Sarah gave me a bagel with cream cheese (my favorite! and I didn't even have to ask) and she also gave me soymilk (AHHHHH! I love soymilk ^___^).

and so many ridiculous moments today. during dinner my family group girls were being so hilarious. we were just cracking up like hyenas over the smallest things. one scenario: I was carefully holding a cup of hot tea (I drink tea now that I'm not allowed to eat dessert except on Fridays) and then I said something to Nara. and by instinct she smacked my arm. which made me spill tea everywhere and scream really loudly in the cafeteria.

crazy thing is that I screamed again during WORSHIP SERVICE -.- ahhh.......so humiliating.
I was all into the worship song (I usually sing so blahhh during worship but these days I'm loving it) so I was really into it and then the guy next to me. actually he wasn't even sitting close by. like literally we were sitting on opposite ends of the pew. but this guy like a ninja swooshes next to me and says something to me.

imagine this scenario. I'm worshiping arms raised, eyes closed. there's no one around me. and then all the sudden I hear a voice in my right ear. and then I look over and there is THIS FACE right next to my face.
and I scream so loudly. that almost everyone in front of me turns around and stares. and sees me hyperventilating...

ohmaigat....just want to crawl under my seat and disappear.
eh. but I got over it by the next song.

I vowed to pay attention to the next lecture, but I ended up doing a masterpiece doodle.
good quotes that caught my listening brain waves
"The Christian faith is unique in being world affirming and world denying at the same time."
"Church always goes forward by going back first" (back to the gospel)
"Success is the greatest danger and carries the seeds for failure"

things to chew on.

we ended the day with a great discussion session by our new leader Wuen. where none of us understood the lectures except the very intelligent Grace. so she explained everything to us.

Wuen and I were talking about leadership afterwards. And this is what I learned from my two weeks.
A quote from P.Kenny "I don't care whether you like me or not. I will love you"
as leaders we really can't try to please people or care too much what they think about us. our jobs are to serve them and love them. in addition I learned to have confidence in the skills that God has given me and honestly to just be myself and enjoy what I'm doing.

even with my relationship with God it took me the longest time to be myself with Him. as if I had to talk to Him in this holy spiritual language. and He could only hear and see me when I was praying or in church but He couldn't see the way I acted when I was hanging out with my friends.

of course there are things about myself that need to be pulled out and things that I need to shape. but there are things that make me delightfully me. I'm really funny I hear. and I hope so cause maybe God created me so that He could smile and laugh once in awhile. it must be quite stressful at times being God.

which is why tonight we danced like senior citizens to "Dancing in the moonlight" until Cathy (staff) walked by and told us to get some sleep.

goodnight :]

Day 31

ohhh the glorious Monday is here. waking up at 5:50am again
I actually tried medium-hard today during the running and workouts. cause workouts we did fighting moves (punches and kicks) mwahahaha I wanna be a street fighter.
but oh wow.....it was so ridiculous. a bunch of asians in a field early in the morning. shouting and punching the air. it looked like such a stereotypical asian fighting practice movie scene.

I really really liked today's lessons. morning session was about INTEGRITY. it's been such a huge theme of GLDI. because a leader without intergrity is asjgsaljgwajgajflkjfwifwu. impossibru!!
so many people's reputations, legacies, ministries are destroyed by even one wrong dishonest move. so we need to develop such a strong character because our actions flow out of our character.

Dr. Kim also talked about taking ownership. CONVICTION. so much conviction for me to take ownership of my campus. my campus belongs to God and it's mine too mwahahaha. for me to pray for Dr. Hrabowski (President) and my professors and my friends/classmates. Rebekah don't forget that today you made that commitment.

soooooo today Gloria and I weighed ourselves after lunch and we almost passed out when we saw the numbers. TT.TT I thought I was supposed to lose weight during GLDI but I gained weight.
Gloria made a strict diet for us (basically it's just no eating desserts except on Fridays) and also I have to eat salads for lunch in addition to my meal. aghhhhh rabbit food. I almost caved today during dinner cause they had german chocolate cake. but Gloria and Diana wouldn't let me....TT.TT oh first world problems.

but anyways speaking of world problems. Dr. Os Guinness spoke about standing fast in faith in the Global era. it was really good but towards the end I got really distracted because I wanted to draw an eagle. so I was really into my eagle drawing and not paying attention - though I'm still able to catch the important things.

after Dr. Os Guinness's lectures we are required to answer reflection questions. and as I was answering the reflection question on the challenges we face in this world. it HIT ME so hard. like BAM.

God has really been speaking to me about standing firm. and I had this feeling that something was going to happen on my campus in the fall. and then while I was typing out my answer to the question it became really clear. I got really nervous and excited about it at the same time.

There is an issue that will really divide those who are for Jesus and those who are against Jesus. During these times the pressure will become even greater - to stand firm in God's word or compromise to the secular view. we who stand firm will face "persecutions" (of course not nearly as severe as the Christians in other parts of the world) but nonetheless we will be attacked for our beliefs. but we must not be ashamed of the gospel.

I was getting nervous but God gave me alot of hope. He said that He will use this issue to uncover the struggles within the church and also to unite the believers. In addition, this is an opportunity to increase our faith and for us to finally be able show that we are willing to "die" to something (our reputations) for the sake of the gospel. He also told me to develop strong relationships and demonstrate His love - this will protect our relationships despite our differences in beliefs. in all this God is in control even though it seems like chaos and His name will be glorified!

I pray that God would have mercy on all those around me who are against Jesus. If what I believe is wrong and what they believe is right, I have nothing to lose. But if what I believe is true and what they believe is falsehood, then though they have nothing to begin with, what they do have they will lose.

Secondly I got so convicted to read the bible. I know it's something so simple but we don't do it enough! how am I supposed to be the light and salt of the world, to be able to interpret the times without reading the scriptures.  I like to think of myself as a battery. without charging myself with the Word, I have all the capacity but no power.

things are going down. be prepared.

goodnight.

Day 30

I got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart to stayyyyyy

"Those who sow in tears will reap songs of joy" - Psalm 126:5

This past year I've experienced the hardest times of testing and trials in my life. I probably never cried so much and felt that kind of pain. but now I don't remember any of the sufferings but feel the joy in my heart!! so much indescribable joy. STAND FIRM. have a loyal and faithful heart for God is good. all the time.

this theme of standing firm has truly been on my mind lately. today we went to Crossway Community church and the speaker Dr. Os Guinness (his family own Guinness beer and Guinness world records. crazyy) talked about standing firm through the story of Shedrach Meshach and Abednego - in the book of Daniel- who would have rather die in the burning furnace than acknowledge an idol before God.

for most of us. the moment the slightest problem comes up. we get angry at God. and blame Him. and complain. etc...but we must praise Him through the hard times. He know's what He's doing.
He has the BEST is store for us.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm so joyful ^______________^

btw. wow....the OC is really like what you see in TV. all the people at Crossway church are young and beautiful. I felt like I was at a fashion show. ohh Southern California..

fam group outside of Crossway

today for lunch and dinner there was kimbap (korean sushi) -.- ohmohnah.  my worst nightmare. I ate kimbap and threw up when I was a little kid and to this day it is the most detestable of all foods - along with celery and carrots.

thank goodness there was Ramen and chicken as well :)

Tonight we shared our testimonies. and I shared about standing firm. I usually don't speak in public but I think that I need to get over my fear of public speaking/ people.

I also noticed from listening to other people's testimonies. that we have alot of trouble loving others. I know I def. do. but it's sooooooooooo important. God emphasizes this so much. there's really no point in doing anything if you don't have love. you can't even say you love God if you don't love others.

This is something that I think will be a continual process for the rest of our lives. cause there's always new people and people that will get on your nerves. but for me the best thing is honestly prayer. I can't force myself to love someone. but always when I pray for God to change my heart to love someone, He answers. It's like the one prayer that I know God will surely answer because that is 100% His will for us to love one another.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" - John 13:34-35


goodnight. stay loving and joyful <3

Day 29

Oh the glorious weekend is here. no morning exercise ^____^

today we had a career fair, because this week was the career and calling week. to be honest even after all this information. I still have no idea what I'm going to do after I graduate...
people ask me "whats your major"
me: Psychology (just psychology btw not psychology and something else)
oooh. what do you want do with it?
umm.....i don't know...eh heh...
oooh i see. what year are you?
mmm...senior....
oh......

awkward palm tree in a hurricane.

I got some useful info though from talking to the people with jobs.
1) don't worry about what you are going to do way in the future. walk strong with God and He will lead you there step by step
2) Ask God not only open doors and but also to close certain doors.
3) Whatever you end up doing you should love it enough to say "I can't believe I'm getting paid to do this"

I also met Pastor James Byun's (old pastor of my church) brother Jim Byun. Such a small world

He's a lawyer. I liked listening to him talk.

after lunch we played basketball :) mwahahaha I love just shooting the ball. it feels so good when you make it in. all my experiences from playing HORSE.

except I one time I missed (just slightly) and I got the ball stuck in the tree. aha...

today was a real silly day. even when working on our Nation Building project. the whole time all I did was make songs and pretend rap over Dr. Dre beats.

goes like this

Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But here's our number
Give us money

Let's build a nation
For King JC
So here's our website
Donate to Haiti

Chorus
Let's build a nation
Altogether
(Haiti, Haiti)

ahahahahaahaha.

Dinner was really funny today. We had this intense discussion about Korean Dramas. the guilty pleasure of this world. and then we started casting everyone here at GLDI. apparently I could either be the clumsy main character or the older sister of the main character. 

after dinner. two hours of awesome Time Alone with God (went by too fast TT.TT) and then 3 hours prayer time. it was a little crazyy as well. this time I was really into it and apparently when I prayed for others it was on point. towards the end i was quite silly.  that's cause I was drunk on the Holy Spirit ;]

oh man it's been awhile. I remember the last time was in Korea. and people were seriously asking me what drugs I was taking. biggest compliment of my life "Rebekah, I want what you have"

so thankful for the Holy Spirit ^______^

Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit. 
-Ephesians 5:18

best thing about Holy Spirit. no hangovers. instead you wake up to a glorious morning.

goodnight.

Day 28

Today Coach Dave convicted me with his story of how the 80 years old grandpas that he plays volleyball with wear tube socks on their arms and give their best effort.

I tried so hard (or harder than usual). ran harder. even held the plank position for 30 whole seconds. if the grandpas can do it. grandma Rebekah can do it too.

I also felt convicted today to skip breakfast to pray because so many crazy things have been going on lately. there are two funerals tomorrow, two people in the hospital, and then I heard about the Colorado movie theater shooting. man this world needs some true hope.

I apparently got a little carried away...because next thing I know it was 8:43 (need to get to the lecture room by 8:45) and I literally sprinted as fast as I could there and made it. it If I had gotten there only 15 seconds! later, we would have had Sat morning exercise. o.O thank you LORD.

for the afternoon session I noticed the girls in my family group were missing and I was freaking out cause I thought they were late. but it turns out that today felt really burdened and down. so they got together and had a prayer meeting. I think there is some crucial spiritual warfare going on. praypraypray

 I literally have nothing to write about the lectures because for some reason I couldn't pay attention to any of them. I do remember Coach Dave sharing with us though about his experience as a teacher. he has so much passion for teaching. I hope that I'll have that kind of passion for something.

as I was eating dinner with Grace today, I realized I do kinda have a passion for something. I really like it when people trust God and I like sharing stories of His goodness. it makes me bubbly.

May God be gracious to us and bless us
    and make His face shine on us—
² so that your ways may be known on earth,
    your salvation among all nations

but for now I know that food is among my passions. during our Haiti group meeting. I was drooling over this shaved ice place, Guppy House, that is 12min from here (I googled mapped it and everything). I have definitely gotta try this place. got this pic from google images.

don't worry. I did more than that. I also made a Haiti song (over Call me, maybe)
Hey I just met you, And this is crazy
But here's our website, Donate to Haiti

genius.

after our group meetings. whatever sulky moods my family group members may have felt went away instantly with late-night Ramen and us pushing out our bellies and pretending we were pregnant.
I won the competition.
I'm not sure whether to be proud or convicted to do more ab workouts.

ahh so fun. reminds me of the days in Korea. I've been praying lately that GLDI would be the best time of my life. for the past year I've always felt that Korea was the best time of my life and nothing would ever compare to it. but God is good! I think He wants to move forward. the best has yet to come :)

goodnight.

Day 27

Thursday July 19, 2012

oh man I didn't have time to write the blogpost for last night because it was like woooosh woosh. Holy Spirit was working so powerfully in our family group. I just want to thank everyone who has been praying for me. I really feel it so much. I pray that you will receive blessings in double portions!

I've been crazy joyful these days. God's been really teaching me to trust in Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. Even when I had to chose the next leader, I had to trust Him. and alot of people here are truly sticking to their commitments to surrender ALL to Him. even the things that they cherish the most. And I realize that yes God is testing us the way that He tested Abraham, but He also wants to set us free from the things that burden us. He wants our desires to be in Someone who is reliable and powerful not on people, things, situations that will fail or disappoint us. And He desires to pour out His love and blessings onto us. So that not only are we blessed, but we can be a blessings onto others.

He's raising a generation of people who are willing to humble themselves before Him and say "I'm sorry. I can't do this on my own. I need You." He plans keep these people in His presence and to make them distinct from everyone else. No more lukewarmness, no more on the fence. We are either going to be for Him or against Him. I pray that His mercy and grace would lead us back to Him. that all those who are called will come together in love and unity. sharing the same mind and likeness of Christ. believers who are transformed from the inside out by the power of the Holy Spirit. believers who will be committed and stand firm- holding onto the gospel without be ashamed of it or shaken. that His laws would be written on our hearts and minds. no longer feeling the guilt of sin, but being empowered to expanding the Kingdom. so that we would be His people and He would be our God.

May we never forget and persevere each day. Surrendering to Him and lingering in His presence daily.

Yesterday we learned the power of stories. And I believe that God has written beautiful stories with our lives. I got to hear some powerful testimonies from the girls in my group. We've all been through alot. In the beginning of this trip I foolishly thought that because most of us grew up in well-off Christian families we were all sheltered. but everyone has burdens and secrets they carry.

Last night was the last time I would be leading family group and God is so good. I know that He is restoring, freeing, maturing us so much. We are surrendering our lives to Him so that He may use our talents that He has given us in such powerful ways. He is putting so much hope in us as we trust Him.

And we must cling onto this hope. For His love never fails.

I also want to share Gregg Helvey's short film on modern day slavery http://kavithemovie.com/
You can watch the movie on the link above. it's a 19min short film that was nominated for an Oscar. Gregg is an example of a man who decided to surrender His talents to God, and as a result God has exponentially blessed Him. He's working on another project now, please pray for Him that God will use Him mightyly to influence media.

all I can say is that God is good. and I want to spend the rest of my life believing and proclaiming that He is good so that the world may turn to Him and put their faith in His son Jesus Christ. who is the ONLY way to know God.

good morning :)

Day 26

Wednesday, July 19th 2012

Alarm goes off at 5:15am for our prayer meeting. I turn it off....
next thing I know Nara comes to into my room and is surprised that I'm still in bed because it's 6:05.
we have to be at morning exercise by 6:10
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! whyyyyyyyy. I don't even have time to brush my teeth TT.TT
so sad...the leader is running to morning exercise. barely making it on time.

Today we are fasting lunch. and so I plan to eat this humongo breakfast. but I feel God calling me to fast breakfast and pray for someone. TT.TT so convicted. yes. this person should be more important to me than a bagel toasted to perfection with cream cheese.

Morning session speaker is Dr. Paul H. Kim I don't really remember much about what he said. but I did really like how he was wearing these yellow cowboy boots. wow...never seen a korean old man wearing cowboy boots- especially bright yellow ones.

yellow cowboy boots

Afternoon and evening sessions were awesome. Jenn Ball spoke about our strengths and how we can use them for God's purposes without anything holding us back. my strengths are adaptability, empathy, connectedness, input, and belief.

During the time of prayer she told us to listen to God and ask Him which strength that He wants us to develop. and I never expected it to be belief, one because it seemed so simple and two because it was the last one on my top 5. but I got the impression that I need to have a faith that is unshakable. that when people judge me, I won't be ashamed of what I believe because I know with all my heart that what I believe is the truth. God doesn't want me to be a wishy washy lukewarm believer, but one who would be willing to die for what I believe. then people would start wondering.

one of the greatest words ever said to me was when I was talking to this guy who hated talking about religion. but initiated an hour and half conversation with me about God (he's also not a native English speaker so it took alot of effort). and at the end of the convo, he said - I know that what you believe is the truth because I can see that you truly believe in it.

I'm learning to trust in God and really listen to Him instead of relying on my own understanding. especially when choosing the next leader for our family group. I'm down to two people.

While I was praying for which one I should choose. God reminded me of how He chose me even though I'm not perfect by any means. When I checked my fb later I saw that my sister messaged me this STORY

It's really good. and the end it said this
Looking back on all the things God has allowed me to do, I am still amazed that God chose to use me. My desire, my heart, is to finish the race and to do it well. It is important that we not only run the race, but we finish well.

I believe in the next leader, because I know that God believes in her no matter what other people may think. And I hope that she will lead us to finish the next two weeks of GLDI well. 

goodnight.

Day 25

Last night I read that famous and familiar Proverbs 6:9 "How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?"

I remember the last time I read that, I was waking up in the double digits hours. and now it's the single digits TT.TT but wow God truly answers. I prayed that I wouldn't be a sluggard. and never knew that a few months later I would be waking up every morning around 5am and exercising.

it's actually not as hard as I thought it would be. most likely God's extra grace is on me. our family group is going to take it even further tomorrow and wake up earlier to have morning prayer in our living room.
yeah...we'll see how it'll goes...

Time has really been flying by because I only have a few more days as the group leader. God has taught me so much during this past week and half. I'm so grateful ^___^ most importantly besides loving people, God has taught me that a true leader is not just a leader by title. but someone who continues to set an example, love, and care. that even when I transfer over the leadership to the next leader (ack. still haven't decided who. Oh LORD I need clarity!) that I would still do my best and really be that strong support for that person.

Anyways morning exercise: I'm catching up towards the middle of the running group now because my roomie Diana has been literally pushing me. afterwards we had to climb up and down the stairs. oh man so crazy a couple days ago I was talking with Wuen about how hard morning exercises are. and I said- well, at least they're not making us climb stairs. stairs are my weakness.

mmm....seems like God is really developing my gift of prophecy..

I've been praying lately for God to show me His funny side. I think He is....but it's not funny. it reminds me of my dad's humor. when he's laughing, but I'm not laughing.
not funny -.- (but secretly smile on the inside)

For morning session Mr. Bill Heatley talked about the joy of working. wooooo! I hope I will remember this teaching forever. especially when I get a job later. He said that we should be joyful when we work and that God can use you anywhere. in fact it's necessary for us to all work in different fields. he also gave us a hint for our right job: what is it that we would do, even if we didn't get paid for it.

I guess I'm going to be a professional eater then.

Afternoon session: the speaker Rev. Joel talked about Arts and Entertainment. how we as believers should not avoid "worldly" things. but see how we can influence media to glorify God. even though there are all these horrific statistics on the amount of violence, distorted beauty, sex, etc shown in the media. running away from it or avoiding it, is not going to help. we need to take back media and shine through the darkness. i mean everything belongs to God anyways. media also belongs to Him. we shouldn't be influenced by negative things, but we shouldn't be unaware what goes on either.

then all the artists here got to eat lunch with the speaker. someone asked me if I was an artist too. I said that I'm a doodle artist. give me a pen and a three hour lecture. and I'll draw you a masterpiece doodle.

I would like to share something noteworthy today. so a couple days ago I mentioned that I wrote a letter of forgiveness to someone. and it was actually my sister. growing up we've always had a Tom and Jerry kind of relationship. but yeah...I really apologized. and this is what she wrote back.

I just got your letter- thank you for writing that, you don't know what that means to me after all these years of being hurt that you didn't care about me. The fact that you, of all people, have changed drastically enough to actively seek forgiveness is solid proof of God's existence and capability for me. It goes to show the extent of his incredible power and goodness, so I hope you realize that your actions are an incentive, inspiration, and reminder to keep pursuing him to change my guarded heart as well. I'm also proud of what you're doing; the fact that God is having you play out the actions that you're most unlikely to do, such as running, shows that you're truly his humble servant. You were blessed with so many natural talents and gifts, it's always been hard to watch you throw away or disregard what so many others like myself work so hard to reach. So stay away from sluggishness, mediocrity, and settling and continue using your way with words to reach out to others!

wow I was so touched by it...her writing it really good too....

the greatest miracle is the transformation of a person from the inside, out.
I really don't know what kind of monster I would be without God's grace.
but I'm really thankful that He is good.

goodnight.

Day 24

So yesterday we learned about forgiveness. and wow.....God is so funny (though I didn't find it that funny) because He provided me with an opportunity to practically apply this concept of forgiveness.
I never realized how sensitive I really am, especially with what people say TT.TT my soul was wounded.
Had a misunderstanding, and spent the morning venting, forgiving, and praying blessings for this person.

mmm. when living in a world with people. gotta learn to be thick-skinned.

We got a new trainer for morning exercise. His name is Coach Dave. he's gotta get familiar with my turtle speed things that I do things. During running today my roomie Diana helped me by pushing me (literally) while I ran. Ya know need a little push at times.

Dr. Richard Blackaby spoke again this morning and afternoon. it was so great. I really like him because we think alike. like literally he speaks what I think in my mind. hmmm is this what Paul means when he writes I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.

He spoke about not limiting God and how God can use people of influence in business. when I was younger I generally thought that God only used pastors and missionaries, but now I'm learning how we can be faithful to Him anywhere He places us.

For lunch Dr.Kim's wife had a special luncheon for us! yayyyy with fajitas and tiramasu. ahhh!!! so happy. and I was even happier when she spoke because seriously she's my role model. Iljji pointed out how I remind her of a halmuhni - grandma. truly that is my destiny. I hope to be a really cute and wise grandma too like Dr. Kim's wife ^___^

Dr. Kim and wife wedding photo!

love shot with Gloria

so cute halmae!! 

I had a dinner date with Wuen today! it was really joyous and encouraging. here is our documentary of this weird green spiky plant that we have never seen before. 

Evening session: Mr. Bill Heatley spoke again about how God can use us in business/other occupations. I think he worked with Kaiser Permanente and some other big company developing this $7billion product. Idk. basically he's a person of great influence. but i really liked what he said about how he surrenders his problems to Jesus (because Jesus knows everything) before he goes to sleep and then in the morning when he wakes up he has the solution in his head. before he does any projects he prays for wisdom. true dependence on God.

another thing that he talked about in relation to depending of God (sort of goes along the lines of having the thorn in the flesh) is that sometimes we struggle with something (such as distractions, anger, etc) and we ask God to take it away, but He doesn't so that we would be humbled and rely on His strength.

oooh I like this. today I surrendered something to God. it's a dream that I have always cherished more than anything else. I guess my alabaster jar of perfume. I poured it onto the feet of Jesus. and said that my devotion to Him is more important than this desire. keep me in Your Presence forever.

so much joy~ no place I'd rather be.

goodnight.

Day 23

Rise and shine it's sundayyyyyy. first time since I got to GLDI that I got to sleep for 10 hours mwahaha.

last night I had a really interesting dream. I was sitting with a crowd of people and for some reason I felt really discouraged and frustrated (I think I was trying to get people to pray but they didn't want to) and then out of nowhere my EMMAUS pastor from korea (Pastor Erin) is beside me and she encourages me. I then stand up on this rock and I notice that at the bottom of the hill there are these abandoned buildings. I hear a voice saying "I will restore these buildings" and then the ground starts trembling violently. next thing I know everyone around me disappears and I'm all alone. I get really even more afraid because I see four sinister looking men approaching me but I can't seem to move from this rock. and as they get closer, I start screaming "Jesus save me!! Send your angels to save me!! Jesus save me!! Send your angels!!" Right before they reach me, this giant stone Cross falls from the sky and pounds the ground, light beaming from it. and then the four men get scared and they leave me alone (they either run away or fall to the ground).

I guess since I actually remember this dream. it means something. hmmmm I wonder what though. but I'm glad that God saves me even in my dreams, this is the second dream that I've had in my life like this.

anyways. today we had sunday service in the chapel on campus. Dr. Kim spoke about being forgiven and forgiving. Matthew 6:14-15. For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. 

super super true that. I know some people who ruined their own lives by refusing to forgive. but Dr. Kim shared with us his powerful testimony of someone who wronged him in front of everyone at a banquet and for 3 1/2 years, his reputation was ruined. but instead of suing the person, he let God take care of the matter. and God blessed him in every way during that time, and after 3 1/2 years gone by the person who wronged him, apologized to him and embraced him in front of people at another banquet. God is good.

forgive, forgive, forgive. as you have been forgiven. this is so serious!!! Jesus doesn't lie.

after service we took yearbook photos, it's going to be so sad when those come out. because then it'll be time to leave TT.TT whyyyyyyyy. when I actually start to like them, they go away.

Gloria, Nara, Christina, Me and Grace on the U

Dr. Kim's grandson holding my finger ^__^

room 102 family pic

had lots of time to chill with God. he spoke to me about following Him daily. oh btw I think the cheerleaders all went home, but I prayed for them anyways. wish I had demonstrated some of God's love to them in the cafeteria last week though. alot of believers ask -what's my calling?- but I realized that we should be asking instead - God what have you called me to do today- and be faithful to that. to learn to listen day by day.

which is crazyyyyy. because tonight the speaker Dr. Richard Blackaby. mehehe i like saying his last name. anyways spoke about this exact thing. to have a relationship with God, to know Him, and to obey Him day by day. and before you know it, you'll have accomplished all these great things, all starting with being faithful with each day. when God can trust you with the little things, He can trust you with greater things.

usually before I go to sleep. I say -goodnight God, I love you- but starting from yesterday. I'm going to say -goodnight God, help me to obey you- because He says -if you love me, you will obey what I command-

anyone can say that they love God. but not everyone obeys...
I hope to be someone who obeys and therefore truly loves Him

goodnight.

*update. got a text that my bff back home has been spotted at church! (long story) but I've been praying for her for awhile. God is good!!

Day 22

This post might be kinda strange because I am half sleeping as I'm writing it.

todayyyyyyy we went to the beach! we're going to the beach. we're going to the beach.
I was so happy. got to play in the sand (there was no sun today) but it was secretly sunny because some people got tanned/ sun burnt. but of course I stayed the same level of vampire paleness. it's like the sun just reflects off my face.

Diana, Jiwon, Esther, Me, Christina, Nara

I got to dig my epic hole in the sand. and then caught some sand crabs! so cute. I like the way they wiggle around in the palm of your hand. then went in the ocean. right when Christina and I were having fun in the waves. it was time to eat lunch. mmm no complaining when it's time to eat.

Went to this burger place. and as we were waiting. this seagull pooped on Christina's foot! it was crazy it wasn't even like a normal bird poop it was like a seagull diarrhea. we were all like ohh Christina so sorry as we were taking picture of it. puahaha. I caught the action on camera.

We came back showered (Christina scrubbed her foot) and then off to our Nation Building Project Meeting. so my committee, we basically threw away our old idea 10 min before our meeting presentation and hastily made a new one. mmm....I'm excited to see how this project goes...

oh LORD please give me the heart to care for others in need.

after our projects we eat and then I have an interesting convo with Grace. she told me that yesterday God burdened her to go and pray for the cheerleaders (there's a cheer camp going on on this campus right now). and so she did, one group let her, but the other group rejected her. and she was like whyyyy God did you tell me to do that.

but I was really encouraged and convicted when I heard her story. because see me, and what I noticed from most people. were like uughhhh so annoyed with the cheerleaders (they take up the whole cafeteria and are really loud) we judge them and probably not once did it come across our minds to pray for them and love them. no we just clumped them into one big stereotype and then we wonder why God is not answering us.

as we were doing our three hour prayer in the chapel last night, this thought came into my mind. but I did not act on it. but Grace she listened and obeyed God through action. Oh LORD have mercy on us.

I tell you Grace why God told you to do that. to set an example for the rest of us. and WAKE US UP. the last point of P.Josh message yesterday on being a servant of Christ is that a servant of Christ in focused on the HARVEST. finding God's lost children. because that is what's on God heart. He will not rest until all His lost children are found.

Today I prayed for the cheerleaders. Tomorrow I hope to obey.

(wow...I didn't plan to write any of this. it just came out as I was typing...)

goodnight.

Day 21

Friday, July 13 2012

Ahmahgahhhh today was so awesome ^___^ lots to share

well the day actually started off as a failure. 

snoozed like 5 times and missed morning prayer. 

morning exercise: all my progress I've been making in running....and I choose the alternative power walking group TT.TT 

I also got killed today in the assassin game TT.TT for our safety we had to wear "capes" (tied my hoodie around my shoulders like an ahjumma about to play golf). so I did that but another requirement was that we had to act like we were flying. mmm.....i forgot....and it cost me my life.

For morning and afternoon sessions Dr.Bae shared about our health and brain. Honestly my eyelids were very very heavy today. at one point I licked a minty gum wrapper and stuck it on my forehead. which actually will keep you awake!

for 10min... 

but I learned some useful insights about healing. Have courage, confess, be humble, submit, and ask. And lately a theme that has been coming up is having a mind like Christ. Must pray about this because my mind is full of distractions and ridiculous thoughts.

I’m doing this thing where I want to meet and eat with all the girls in my family group individually. Today I had the honor of eating with Nara. Mwahaha this is where what I learned about healing became very useful. Nara said she had pain in her ankle and she’s been wanting to ask me to pray for her.

First step. If someone asks then they already that the faith to be healed. Now I also learned today that back in the day there was a lot of healing in order to affirm the gospel. But Nara is already a believer so why would her ankle need to be healed? She could just deal with the pain.

This is what I told God. See Nara is a believer but she also wants to have a strong faith. And this healing would increase her faith and give her the courage to reach out to people on her campus and share the gospel. So by healing her it’s indirectly affirming the gospel. That and God loves her forreal.

So we come before God with courage and I submit our request to Him. And sure enough her ankle feels better. And then she’s like not just this ankle but both ankles. And I was like wahh? Both of them hurt? So then I lay my hands on her ankles (today during lecture we also prayed that our hands would be used to love and heal) and this time I spoke to her ankles. I said that Nara’s body belongs to God and in the name of Jesus Christ it better not give her pain anymore.

Nara twirled around her ankles again and she was freaking out because it felt a lot better, but not yet 100% so we prayed for it again. And I was totally seriously commanding those ankles with all the authority and power I had in Jesus Christ that they better not give Nara any more pain and that the pain would not come back.

And then it was completely better and we were jumping up and down and hugging. It was great. God is so good. Not just saying it, but now we have experienced it.

After dinner we have about 20 min before our evening service. During that time I was singing the song “Let it Rain” because it’s been stuck in my head since my morning shower. And Grace was in the living room playing guitar and I asked her what her fav song was. And she said “Worthy is the Lamb”. For some reason I asked God that we would hear those two songs during service/prayer time.

Before the message, the staff does something surprising. They lead us outside and there are water basins and towels. Oh snap they are going to wash our feet. It was such a humbling and touching experience. People were crying, soft twinkly music playing in the background. And then all the sudden you hear…

“Hey I just met you, and this is crazy…” oh no….right now there’s like a Bring it On style cheer camp thing that’s going on this campus. Hundreds and hundreds of cheerleaders, and they are blasting Call Me, Maybe during this super serious moment.

I feel so bad, but it’s horrible and funny at the same time. Ah…no further comments.

Evening message was so good. P.Josh spoke about living a life as a servant of Christ. We are called to encourage, intercede for, be an answer, love, serve, receive ministry, and harvest people.  

Two stories that P.Josh told that I def want to share.

A medical missionary in Africa made a journey to town with a lot of money to buy medicine. On the way back from buying the medicine a gang came up to him and told him that they wanted to become Christians. The medical missionary asked them why, and they told him that they knew that he was carrying a lot of cash and wanted to kill him and rob him. While he was sleeping in his tent, they planned to attack him with their machetes, but then they saw 17 giant men dressed in white around his tent. They were so afraid and ran away.

As the medical missionary was sharing this story to his congregation, a member stood up and asked him when that situation took place.  It turns out that around that time, the member, who stood up, was playing golf when he had a strong feeling to pray for protection over the missionary. The member quickly called other members of the church and rallied them into a prayer meeting to pray for the missionary. After the member shared this with the congregation, he asked for the other members who were at the prayer meeting to stand up. In total there were 17 men.

Whoa….that story gave me super chills. P.Josh then shared another story of his mission trip to Mexico. The way he told it was really good, but basically to sum it up (so sorry P.Josh doing injustice to your story) he met this guy named Poncho, who apparently used to go to church but stopped going because he was getting demonic attacks. P.Josh had a burden to talk to this guy, but the problem is Poncho doesn’t know how to speak English and P.Josh doesn’t know how to speak Spanish. P.Josh found this girl to help translate but then in the middle of their conversation she left to eat dinner. P.Josh trusted that the LORD would help him continue the conversation, and they ended up talking for another hour , Poncho surrendered his life to Christ, and P.Josh prayed for him. It wasn’t after P.Josh returned to his hotel that he realized that they just had a supernatural conversation because although they did not speak each other’s language they understood it in their native tongue.

Lesson: when God places a burden on your heart. Go for it. And trust Him.

Afterwards we had our three hours of prayer. In the beginning it was hard for me to get started because I felt so frustrated with myself. I felt so disobedient and selfish. So I sat there like ughhhh. But then in the background music I began to hear that song “Worthy is the Lamb” and I remembered what I prayed for earlier. So that encouraged me a little and I was thinking man it would be crazy if they also played “Let it Rain”. And. oh yeah. few songs later I heard… “Let it Raiiiiiiiinnn, let it raiiiiiin, open the floodgates of heaven” and I got this warm, tingly feeling and I felt so much better, knowing that God cares for me that much to answer such a simple, seemingly meaningless prayer.

Then Grace came up to me and told me that God told her to pray for me. And we prayed together to break off the fear of man and to obey God.

Prayer really works fast sometimes. Cause from that moment on I spent probably the next 2hours? Going around and praying for the people that God was placing on my heart and they were really touched by it. And so was I. The time just flew by.

I also made peace I guess with something today. I haven’t really shared this with a lot of people. But for the past year I’ve had it in the back of my mind, that maybe God is preparing me to become a pastor’s wife. And then I had a lot of people tell me that. And then especially this year when my pastor INSISTED several times that I am meant to be a pastor’s wife. I was like oh my…..well I already surrendered my life to God so if I am to become one then okay…but I didn’t want to think about it at all.

But today as I was praying, I began to think about it. And I realized wow…I think I would actually find joy in being a pastor’s wife and in fact there’s probably nothing else I’d rather do.

Fun fact: my mom’s greatest fear is me becoming a pastor’s wife.

Aha…isn’t life so funny. Can’t wait to see how things turn out.

Goodnight.