How deep is the Father's love for us.

This is a true story. it happened two years ago around the beginning of September 2011. I've told this story to some people but I've been waiting for the right time to write it. I guess that time is now.

It was a Friday and I had been crying the whole day. At the time I didn't know what was wrong with me. I had just finished tutoring. To my student it seemed as though everything was okay, but as I was driving back, I broke down. something was eating me up because I knew I was straying away again. I had just started to live a life transformed by the Holy Spirit, and now I was grieving Him.

The coaches for our college ministry were all doing Daniel's Fast, so I went to the H-Mart off of 40 to get some grainy food. I parked my car in the spots facing Wal-Mart and just kept crying. But I knew that in those difficult moments, I should praise God. just like in Acts 16 when Paul and Silas were beaten down and thrown into prison. they still praised God.

So I turned off my engine. Placed my keys in my lap. Took out my phone and found the lyrics to How Deep the Father's Love for Us. and I sang through the tears. then I prayed for God to send me an angel. and got out the car to grocery shop.

I had no idea how to cook healthy, so I just got a whole bunch of peanuts and organic canned beans. on the way back to my car one of the grocery bags rips and all my cans roll out. CRAP. I chase the cans around the parking lot.

Finally I collect everything and hobble over to my car. look for my keys in my purse. OMG. where are my keys? I look through my car window. and I see my keys. on my seat. all doors locked of course. in panic I try to see if I left any windows cracked open. of course I didn't.

WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

This cannot be happening to me. not today. My dad's at work and this is the third time I've locked myself out. he is not going to happy. I call him. get a lecture. he tells me that he has to go home, get the spare and come to H-Mart. it'll take about an hour and 10min.

I'm in like zombie mode now. I just don't care about anything anymore. I ask God how could this have happened? I pray for mercy. and now on top of everything, I'm locked out of my car.

With no real food to eat. friggin Daniel's Fast. how did he do it?
I sit on the curb like a homeless person and eat some of the peanuts that I got.

I stare at the cars that are driving by, and I notice another person across the street doing the same thing I'm doing. Sitting on the ground and staring at the cars. Who is he? Why is he there?
Why does he also look so sad?

I don't know what took over me. probably Holy Spirit. but I got up. put down my bag of peanuts. waited till there were no more cars. and found myself walking across the street. Marched right up to the man.

He didn't even notice that I was hovering over him. Eyes glazed over, staring at the cars.
Ummm excuse me, sorry to bother you. I say. but are you okay?

He glances up and squints at me, somewhat startled that someone is speaking to him. I expected him to say that everything was okay or be like why is this stranger talking to me. but he looks at me with the saddest eyes and tells me that no. he is not okay.

Why?
Because I'm homeless ma'm.
What? (he looks like a normal, white suburban dad or something) For how long?
For 6 months.

oh...I see the black suitcase next to him and then notice the small stains on his shirt. As the breeze passes by, I get a whiff of alcohol.

Instead of walking away. For some reason, I plop down on the grass next to him. He is very confused as to why this young, asian girl is talking to him. but he talks. I learn about his life. how he used to live in Florida with his family. but his alcoholism destroyed his relationship with his daughter and wife. his wife remarried and moved his daughter to Maryland.  he used his savings to travel up to Maryland for his daughter's graduation. and stayed for awhile with the new family.  He ended up homeless again because they kicked him out because of his drinking problem.

He shows me his license. His name is Stephen. that's a good name. he looks so "normal" in his picture. blonde hair. wearing a pink polo. I could imagine him playing golf on the weekends.

A guy walking by recognizes him. Stephen speaks to him in another language. I ask him what the language was. And he tells me it was Italian. What he knows Italian? He tells me that he knows three languages. How is a guy like him homeless...

He tells me alot about his daughter. When he spoke about his daughter his face brightened up.

As he spoke, I wanted to tell him about Jesus Christ. he can set him free from his addictions.

So, I asked the obvious question. Did you ever wish you could stop drinking?
He replied back with a definite yes and explained that of course he tried many times.

here it goes. Do you believe in God?

to my surprise, he replies back with an enthusiastic yes. he explains how Jesus Christ is his Lord and Savior. how he used to love reading the book of Hebrews. I pull out my bible from my purse. He looks through it with excitement and we discuss scripture.

I realize now that even though he knew about Christ. there is a difference in claiming his words. alot of people give up when they don't see "results". but we must truly believe and continue to hold onto Christ. and allow the Holy Spirit to sanctify us.

I tell him about my situation. how I don't believe that it was a coincidence that I locked myself out here. that I was meant to meet him and encourage him. that God has not forgotten about him.

and for the first time, I see a grown man tear up.
he tells me that in all seriousness. he has been contemplating suicide for awhile. but today was the day that he was actually going to do it. jump in front of a moving car.

I tell him that he must not! and he smiles and says that of course he will not now because God had sent him an angel.

I see my dad's car driving into the parking lot across the street. I tell Stephen that I have to go. and usually I don't carry around cash but that week I just so happened to stop by the bank and withdraw some. I hand him a white envelope and tell him to get a taxi to see his daughter. To live right.

I never saw him again. To this day I don't know what happened to him. If he returned back to drinking. But I have a feeling that he didn't. I know that God saved him for something great.


it's funny how instead of sending me an angel, God sends me to be an angel to someone else.

and it worked because I felt much, much better. He has a plan for everything and He can even use our mistakes. this man thought he had nobody in this world to turn to. but God had not forgotten him. He remembered him. He loved him.

How deep is the Father's love for us.

Comments

  1. Wow this was an amazing story. Thank you for sharing! If I ever meet an Italian named Stephen I will ask him if he ever met a stage-5 detacher

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