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Showing posts from June, 2012

Day 5

Wednesday, June 27th 2012

Wake up at 5:30am ughhhh sleep for 10 more min. 5:40. now I seriously have to get up.
it's freezing outside. Cali is a strange place. it's so nice and sunny during the day but at nights and mornings it's super cold.

Our trainer Daniel Bay makes us run around campus. I start off in the very front and then oh no everyone is running past me. now I'm last.

no worries. I sing the Mulan song. let's get down to business. by the end of this trip I made a commitment to be running up in the front. that is a true miracle.

we do all these core exercises and then we get to the plank. it's super hard. you get into to push up position and stay up on your forearms. I ask Daniel Bay if there is a modified plank for the girls. nope. we must suffer. hold hold hold. i end up plopping on my stomach after 15 sec.

after exercise. we shower. eat breakfast. do our devotionals. and then it's lecture time!
we have almost 6 hours of lecture through out the day o.O and guess where my assigned seating is. in the very very front row.
oh Lord have mercy on me.

summary of my life: I cannot pay attention for even 15min during normal lecture at school. which is why I either don't go or sit in the back and play phone games.

These lectures are interesting but at some points I am literally having an epic battle with my eyelids. getting heavy. heavier. close. rapid flutter! open wide! getting heavy heavy again. repeat. intense doodling.

my intense doodling


but the thing I like about myself. is that even when I'm sleepy, I get something out of listening.
we learned about sin and how this world is not the way it's supposed to be. God made everything good but because of our sin, we ruined the order of goodness.

sin is when you try to find your identity in something or someone apart from God. which leads to fear, doubt, insecurities, anger, violence, sexual abuse, and ultimately death. but once we find our identity as God's children, we are free! free to be who we were created to be, including the pressures of performance and trying to win the approval of others.

I think more than the good works that you can do, God is more interested in how you were able to love. Rev. Paul Jeon warns us that as leaders we should not idolize leaving behind a legacy. AMEN.

During break time my friend Wuen teaches me how to play the ukulele! it's so fun and easy. and i want one so badly. so guess what. I go on Amazon.com and I order one to be sent here to camp. mmm....yes so spontaneous at times.

and then I remember that Grace prayed for me that I would be able to worship in my quiet time. and now I can with my ukulele. yayy :)

speaking of worship. At the evening service Rev. Jae Park preaches about worship as our number one priority. we are made for worship. first of all I would just like to say that this preacher is the most funniest/odd preacher I have ever encountered in my life. and trust me I've heard hundreds (maybe even thousands) of sermons. He is crayyy crayyy. in a good way.

I don't know what tomorrow brings. but I know that tomorrow I will worship the LORD my God. and the next day and the next day and the next day. If someone asks me what I am going to do with my life. I will say, I shall worship the LORD.

And as time goes by. I have a feeling that worshiping is one of the few things in life that truly matter.

Goodnight.

Day 4

Tuesday, June 26th 2012

Yesterday I prayed for my cute and chubby friend Grace to have an encounter with God. And she got one last night before we went to sleep. except probably not in the way she expected it.

She had this massive headache. and I remember how a few days before I came to GLDI, I got really sick- my whole body felt really numb and weak and I had a huge headache. and though I cried out to God and claimed victory, He did not heal me at that moment. during that whole day I was in so much agony but I knew that I had to learn to love God for who He is and not for what He can do for me. To cling onto the truth and not get discouraged. to praise Him despite my circumstances.

the next day I woke up completely healed. and now I don't have to worry about getting sick at GLDI because once I get sick I usually never get sick again for the rest of the year. Hallelujah.

But anyways I was sharing this with Grace. I told her that He would heal her in the morning but she needed to get through this now. and so she started praising God with a weak voice. it was really hard to hear her in so much pain though.

about to fall asleep, when I heard her whimpering and asking me to please pray for her. I had compassion for her, so I got out of my sleeping bag and put my hand on her forehead. I was going to pray something like "God let Grace know that Your grace is enough for her" but, as I continued, my prayer changed to "God, please let her remember what you have done at this moment forever" I felt my hands tingling. and when I stopped praying. Grace was in shock because all the pain was gone!

Later that night it came back though. I told her that there is probably some deeper issue that God is trying to work on, but it'll be better in the morning. and sure enough in the morning her headache was completely gone.

God has the power to do anything. but He has His reasons and timing for everything. we have to learn to trust Him completely.

We pack everything up and now we're headed back to the campus (Vanguard University). Get there and eat lunch. I know in my Korea blog I talked so much about food. but this one I won't. but brief mention. I was so happpyy, so much food :) mmm...all the eating I do shall balance out the exercise.

After dinner, Rev. Stephen Chong finishes his preaching on the story of the prodigal son from the perspective of the older brother. message is so good. about how we need to love God for who He is, not for what He can do for us. oh snappp. Holy Spirit be speaking to errbody. He also talks about having persevering faith and about being faithful to God will the little things He has placed in your life. AMEN.

During family time after the message. instead of sharing and talking. we simply pray during the whole time. I love praying.  I think sometimes we just need to pray more. prayer is action.

Gotta wake up nice and early at 5:30am tomorrow for morning exercise TT.TT

Goodnight.




Day 3

Monday, June 25th 2012

Today is the day I am somewhat nervous about. 

We are going to be climbing trees, high roping, and zip lining.
And I am deathly afraid of heights. o.O

The guys go first. and while the girls wait for their turn, we play this egg drop game. we have straws, strings, cotton balls, and duct tape and we got to make a structure that will protect an egg when it's dropped from a high place. 


I am not very physics/engineery so basically my job is to rip pieces of duct tape. 

We start out with this nice complicated triangle structure, then it changes to a rhombus, then it just becomes this ball of straws and cotton balls held together by duct tape and strings. 
Nice. so sophisticated. 




we compare our "structure" with the other teams. and wow...hahaha we are obviously not the most creative/intelligent group because the other teams have like parachutes on theirs and everything. 


doesn't matter though cause all of our structures survive the drop. afterwards we don't know what to do with ours. so I pretend it's a football and throw it around. and then we get more creative by pretending it's a wedding bouquet and I toss it to the girls and they fight to catch it.  ridonkulous...


it's finally our turn to go this cray cray height obstacle course. find out that we have to hike there! 10 min uphill hike and i'm already exhausted before the course even begins. 


wait in line with my safety gear and helmet on, feeling like a mix between Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider and a construction woker. The worker wilderness lady is already at the top of the tree and tells me to start climbing up. Before I start climbing, I notice that the rope connected to my gear is not dangling like everyone else's was, but I'm like whatever the lady know's what she's doing. 



I pray. then I start climbing. it's so hard. hug tree. breath breath. don't look down. this is crazy. half way up. I'm stuck. i wanna cry. keep going. keep going. almost at the top. yes! finally here. all I need to do it climb onto the platform. reach reach... wait why can't I move?!


the lady tells me to pull myself up onto the platform, and I'm like uhhh I can't I'm stuck. 

what do you mean you're stuck?
uhh....I can't move?
turns out that my rope wasn't dangling because it was stuck under the platform. the lady says "oh no.."
it's never good when you hear the professional tree climbing lady say "oh no'. 
she lays out my options: 
1) take off my safety gear: but if I fall I die
2) climb all the way back down and climb back up: no way
3) squeeze myself through the hole in the platform and wiggle my way through. 

I consider climbing down and not coming back up. but i was like nooo I worked too hard to get up here. so I try to squeeze myself through the hole (not so easy when you're 20-30 feet up in the air). but I get through! yay...


and then I realize, I'm facing the wrong direction, cause I can't climb onto the platform backwards. 

Nooooooooo....
squeeze myself back into the hole and then switch legs. oh moh nah. I'm stuck. 
I can do this. I start wiggling. wiggle wiggle. and then I'm free!! 
climb onto the platform. the lady says I deserve I medal. I wanna feint. 
My mouth is as dry as sandpaper. she asks me if I ever done anything like this.
and I tell her I'm supposed to be afraid of heights. but right now I don't feel any emotion. I just want to finish this and get it over with. 

but I still need to get through the high ropes part. we have to cross a tight rope from that connected from one true to another. oh em gee. I heard the girls that went before me crying and repeating "umma (mom)". 

I get on and my legs are shaking. Good time to apply what I learned yesterday. focus on the goal. so I stare at the wooden box on the tree ahead and walk. 




summary: get to the end. it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. think it's over. and there are two more ropes that i need to do. I want to give up and die. but I endure. we should really get a "I survived high ropes" t-shirt for this. 


finally make it to the zip line. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. BAM. ahhhhhh going backwards. ahhhhh going forwards. stop. get off. I did it. HALLELUJAH. 


I finished. and that's all that matters. I pray that I will finish God's will in my life too and I trust that He will finish the good work He began in me. 


Hike down back, chill for awhile, I talk to my friend Grace about stuff (hehe she's my chubby friend. I prayed for a chubby friend who would be the slow one with me during exercise!) she is longing for an encounter with God. I pray that she will. and she prays that I will be able to worship God (I miss playing guitar) and then it's time for the evening session. 


Pastor Stephen Chong preaches also (Dr. Kim and he didn't plan it out together) about the story of the prodigal son (God must really want us to know this story).

Wow he is one of the greatest preacher's I've heard. He talks about the Father's Love. And then we get into a time of prayer. I've made alot of mistakes in the past, but I guess there's one that still has some residue. even though you know that God has forgiven you, it takes time for you to realize that He truly has forgiven and forgotten about it. 

We get back to our Tipis and the discussion in our family group get's really deep. like whoa people exposing their deepest darkest secrets. I admit I sorta judged the girls here, cause they all looked so innocent Christian girls, but I was wrong. We all have our pasts. 


But as I mentioned before, we must find our identities in Christ and trust that God is good. To receive love from Him so that we can choose to obey Him and turn from our sin - not because we feel like we have to, but because we truly want to. 


My mindset is this: the more messed up you are, the more glory to God. 


And I think God's going to get a lot of glory over these next days. 


Goodnight. 

Day 2

Sunday, June 24th 2012

I am slowly running out of pens. keep losing them. but i shall still write!
Today Dr. Kim, the founder of GLDI shared with us the message of transformation (change from the inside out) through the story of the prodigal son (more like the story of the Father's heart) and his own testimony.
wow...I've heard the story of the prodigal son so many times, but this time I was fighting back tears (failed of course, cry cry so touching)

His testimony is amazing. I wish I could write the whole thing but basically at age 36 (I might not be recalling some of the numbers in his testimony right) he was a deacon in the church, just voted best professor at his university, but he didn't realize how bitter and angry his heart was. Therefore, in order to lead him to repentance, God allowed him to have a terminal illness, last stage of liver cancer, and three doctors pronounced that he would live no longer than a year.

After hearing the news, he went up to a mountain, fasted and struggled with God for 6 days and 6 nights and during that time God vividly showed him all his sins (he said he wrote 52 pages of his sins). He then truly asked for forgiveness. His heart changed in repentance, and God gave him a vision to proclaim His name to the ends of the earth and to start a global leadership camp. On the seventh day he declared that he would live. and miraculously he did. 32 years later still walking faithfully with the LORD.

Amazing...i hope that I will be faithful to the LORD as well no matter what happens. gotta be prepared.

Afterwards we have exercise time. ughhh. it's been 2 days here and someone has already called me a halmuhni (grandma). gasp this girl knows me so well.

We have to do 20 jumping jacks. I get tired around 15, so I cheat a little towards the end thinking that no one can see me. Wave my arms but my feet are not jumping.

When we finish, the ex-marine trainer calls me out and says that if anyone cheats the whole group has to do it again. nooo.....forgive me guys...

We do alot of team building things. Everyone is so nice and friendly. And back home I'm used to so much sarcasm (haha healthy brains) and sass. So nice and politeness feels so strange and kinda awkward. I love these girls here so far, but I hope that pretty soon we can get real with one another. mwahahaha.

At night we have a campfire and open mic session, then deep sharing with our family groups. I notice that a lot people not just girls but guys too have alot of insecurities and feelings of lack. I used to feel that way too (still being restored) but God has changed me alot.

If you meditate on the story of Jesus washing his disciples feet, you get a revelation about true humility and confidence. Alot of people equate putting themselves down with humility, especially in korean church culture (ex: I'm the worst; I'm not good at this; I confess I've been lacking in this).

But in order to really get down and be humble, you need to be truly confident. And confidence is not how you see yourself but how God sees you. True confidence is from finding your identity in who God is, how He sees you, and trusting in Him. So even though you may not believe in yourself, He believes in you.

If you are lacking in wisdom, in Him you lack nothing because He will give you whatever you need for the Kingdom's sake. If you think that you are ugly and unworthy. He says that you are His beautiful bride, fearfully and wonderfully made.

God has been restoring my confidence over the past year and I am so grateful for that. I also hope it's something I can teach to others as well. Because it's the foundation for the next step: true humility. Humility is not putting yourself down, but putting God and others before you. And it takes people established in their true identities to get down and serve others.

I hope that in the next coming days, God will teach me how to put others before myself.

Goodnight.


Mr. Lizard in the California mountains



Day 1

Sat June 23rd 2012

I always forget something. On the way to the airport my dad asks me where my pillow was. Nooooo! My beloved pillow pet Pluto. I washed him (or my dad hand washed him I "dried" him) yesterday so he was all fresh and clean for our trip and I left him behind...
so sad...

Pluto chillin on my car


Get to the airport and the line is super long. This is probably like my 30th time? checking into an airport and I've never seen a line this long. Running late because my alarm didn't go off today so I'm quite nervous in line. Doesn't help that every min someone comments on how long the line is.



But thankfully I make it to the gate on time. waiting to board the plane.
Beep, beep, beep. get to my boarding pass. BONK!
why my boarding pass no work?!
The guy tells me I have the wrong boarding pass and I need to go to customer service.
NOOOOOOO. this can't be right...think. think.
oh wait! hehe ^^" I gave him the wrong boarding pass (my flight transfers)
Dig through my bag quickly cause I'm holding up the line.
Tada! so sorry....

Ah yes this is why in 1 Corinthians 1:27 it says
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise"
mmm...thank goodness I have no problem being foolish at times :)

We were assigned a book to read before we arrive. Except I didn't start it until I got to the airport. hehe.
I expected it to be some boring lecture book but it's actually quite interesting! it's called "The Miracle of Freedom: 7 tipping points that saved the world"
Basically it explains 7 events that the world wouldn't be the same if it didn't happen (in a good balance of stories and explanation). I'm at the part that explains the movie 300 (about the Spartan warriors) pretty epic. but then again...why would they have us read this o.O

It's truly mind blowing though how we are all connected to each other and how God is in control of billions and billions of things. Great kings and empires are even at His mercy.
Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. 

Ironically this book refers to freedom so far as doing what you want, when you want to (basically nobody to control you). In a way that's true but I think it's a disguised form of freedom. I don't even know what tomorrow brings, how am I supposed to plan out my life? To some people it may be unsettling that God determines where they go in life, but to me it's actually quite comforting. Learned early on that God's plans are always victorious but any plan against His will never succeeds.

Better that I surrender my life to Him now than try to fight against His will. When my desires are aligned with His desires, I am never disappointed! To me freedom is choosing to place my life in the hands of an eternal God who laid the foundations of the earth. Freedom from anxiety and failure, to me that's pure joy and peace. mwahahahahahaha. now...just gotta work on obeying and committing...

aha my deep thinking at Starbucks writing in the (legendary) Moleskine journal that HCC college ministry got me!



Arrive in Cali. the air here is different. it feels so light and wonderful. I am also quite exotic in SoCal because I am chubby and pale. even the grandmas here are skinny and tan.



The place we are staying in is pretty nice. Rooming with 8 other girls. woohoo room 120 family. I like making families when I go places.

As soon as I unpack, we are whisked off to a 4 day camping trip. Expect it to be like 30 min max away but then we're driving for like 2 1/2 hours into the Cali desert with Joshua tree and everything. Look like something I would see in NatGeo!



Get to the site, which is on some mountain and we are staying in Tipis!! like legit tipis.
so wilderness..
on cue a Native American chief man (w/ feather hat and everything) is playing a plan flute in the background. where am i....

Diana, Sarah, Christina, and Me in our Tipi


Afterwards we gather in this small room to worship/pray/message. There are 52 of us this year. Don't really know about the others' spiritual lives, but man once we all got together and started praying/worshiping with loud voice it was like Holy Spirit wooosh wooosh. I was so joyful.

They tell us that our physical trainer is an ex-marine. I almost throw up the sub I ate earlier imagining what morning exercise is gunna look like.

Everything here is so physical. Even the sermon: Running w/endurance.
1) Pack light
2) Focus on the goal
3) Run w/other believers
I hope to build that discipline here and I'm so glad that I have other amazing brothers and sisters to encourage me.

When everything is over and we step out of the room, it's now dark. The sky is filled with bright stars, the air is cool and light. Cali is a wonderful place.

Time to go to my Tipi and pass out.

Goodnight :)

Pre-departure

The day has finally arrived. Less 24 hours before I am on a plane to the West Coast, I realize that my sister took my big suitcase to her internship in Michigan.

no, No, NOO, NOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I am left to use this real dusty and moldy one (literally, I think this is the suitcase my mom brought when she immigrated from korea like 30 years ago). I put those laundry dry sheets inside to make it smell better.



Let the pre-departure preparations for GLDI begin.

What is GLDI? It is basically a 40day leadership bootcamp in Southern California. I will be staying at Vanguard University for the most part I believe.

Here is what my daily schedule will look like.


yes waking up at 6:15. (laugh laugh- the kind of laughing where your mouth is laughing but your eyes aren't laughing).  breakfast: I usually eat it once a year. EXERCISE: hahahahaahahahahahahahaahaa....

This is what it said in my preparation email that I received.
Get into a healthy mode now, which will help you adjust quickly to the intense pace of GLDI without getting sick.

I already know this 40 day blog is going to be so ridiculous because I haven't ran a mile since gym in 9th grade. That was 7 years ago....

One of the activities we will be participating at the outdoor camp is a high ropes course. This involves climbing a tree (Hunger Games?? o.O), walking across a tight rope and zip-lining.

Fun fact: I'm deathly afraid of heights.
Why would I spent the most important summer before my Senior year in college (when I should be studying for GRE's, working, interning, or doing some sort of impressive thing) to go off to California straight into my worst physical nightmare?

I'm not sure. But I am sure that this is the place that God has called me to. And the last time God called me to a place (120 days: Korea) it was awesome!! so I don't know what to expect but I'm excited.

I hope during these next 40 days. I will be spiritually, emotionally, and PHYSICALLY whole. Learn to break off fears and laziness. get some kind of idea of what I'm going to do after I graduate from school. and learn what it means to be a true leader in this world.

Let the 40 day adventure begin. 

Treasure Hunting

March 7th 2012
Wednesday

Yesterday Missionary Paul Dematatis came to bible study to share his testimony about his missions trip to Nepal, India, and Bhutan.

We asked him questions afterwards and Scott/World asked him to give us some advice. Paul told us that we should share our faith.

That really convicted me because in Korea I used to go on treasure hunts and at UMBC I haven't done it at all (besides one feeble attempt that left me pretty discouraged).

Treasure hunts: fun way of evangelizing. pray. God gives you clues about the people you are supposed to talk to (ex. girl with brown hair and yellow shirt) and then you go find those people. Basically the people are God's treasures.

 So yesterday I asked Pastor Josh to give me a list of clues. And I decided to make the commitment to go treasure hunting today.

4:35pm

The list said that I had to go to Starbucks. So I go to Starbucks and look around for the clues on the list.  Can't find anyone.

I sit  in the corner and wait. Decide to write in my journal about how I need to step it up and have faith. To have a desire to evangelize. cause honestly I am so scared of evangelizing. I don't want to come across as like a jehovah's witness or some weird religious girl creeping around campus.

I wait for about 15 min and still no one. But I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. Or maybe it's just chilly inside Starbucks?

I get a sense that I should wait until 5:00pm. Sitting there lalalalalala. Reading my clues again.
-Heart silver necklace
-Chickfila
-Starbucks
-Black and white converses
-girl yellow shirt, brown hair, pony tail
-Amanda (blue)
-Christina (depression, hopelessness)

 and then I see this girl in a pink sweatshirt limping into Starbucks on crutches. mmm interesting. and then I see that she is wearing...

A SILVER HEART NECKLACE!!

nooooooooooooooooooooo!!. omgomgomgomgomg. 
I'm so certain that I need to ask her if I can pray for her. but I'm so nervous...

basically for the next 10 minutues I'm having an epic battle with fear.

she sits down in the chairs in front of me and talks to the girl across from her. Oh see now I can't interrupt their convo. gotta wait some more. then she gets up and limps over to the Starbucks line.
 
I follow this girl to the Starbucks line, ready to introduce myself. and then I run away. She returns to her seat.
and then I sit in the chair behind her. rehearsing how I'm going to talk to her. but I can't move.

I send a text to P. Josh to pray for me. and then start praying about fear.
I remember from watching Green Lantern that courage is not being fearless. but being able to overcome fear. 

Okay. I can do this. I'm about to get up when I see this other guy come up to the girl and talk to her.
oh man I gotta wait again...why is this girl so popular.

But then I overhear him asking about the crutches. And then they're shaking hands. introducing themselves? wait a min...they just met? no way..........could it be that what I was about to do, this guy is doing it for me?

And then he asks her if he can pray for her.

That's when I bounce up from my chair. squealing about how I was just about to do that. and then I show her the clue about the silver heart necklace. and we're all so excited and amazed. and then this OTHER GIRL comes out of nowhere. and we're all laying hands and praying for her in front of everyone at Starbucks.

turns out we're all believers.
crutches girl (Emma): leads bible study on campus every Wednesdays
guy (Eli): does evangelism on campus and is involved in campus ministry
girl (Noel): is evangelizing with Eli and also involved in campus ministry
me (Rebekah): the scaredy cat who is now so amazed by God and has increased faith to evangelize.

Emma tells us that she is really blessed by this experience. I want to see this girl be miraculously healed right now. But Noel tells me that God does things on his own time. Mmm I agree.

We all exchange numbers and walk out of Starbucks amazed by the encounter.
Talk about how we should unite the different campus ministries and come together in prayer.
And I was like whoo0aoaoa0oaoa. I have been praying about that. So strange sometimes I feel like everyone around me is an atheist and I'm the only Christian on campus but sucha lie!!!

and then we see this girl running after us. it's the girl who Emma was talking to before.
She tells us that her name is Anita and how encouraged she was to see us sharing our faith and praying for people. Anita asks us for our numbers as well.

AHH could this day get any better!!!

turns out it can cause I was planning on eating cereal and microwaving taquitos for dinner. but my roomie Esther made me dinner today: bbq chicken, corn, mashed potatoes, and corn bread!!

As Paul said yesterday. Give the Lord an inch and he'll give you a mile. 

Letter to you

Dear Father,

I know its been awhile since I've written. I hope you didn't miss me too much. Lately I guess I feel like I haven't been spending as much with you as I used to. I remember when sometimes I would spend like 5 hours reading and talking but now it's a quick read and prayer every morning and night. I realized today that you look for consistency more than anything else. I hope that I can be faithful to you until the end.

Things are not what they appear to be. I learned this when I went to Korea. My whole life has been a lie I guess. Live for yourself. I've been so absorbed in my own life that I created you to be something that you were never meant to be. You were never meant to be an accessory in my life. You never existed solely to make my life better. Someone to pray to in order for me to do well on my test or get into a good school in order to for me to continue my race to success. No you are far greater than that. You are who you say you are and I should be the one worshiping you.

Forgive us Lord. We've forgotten the true meaning of many things. We've forgotten why we live. And for that I guess we are dying. May you continue to give me spiritual food so that I may be close to you. So that I may live a true life.

Thank you that you love me. And for that I want to love you. Help me to love you Lord. I want to love you. Sometimes you are so far away it seems like I cannot. I cannot see your beauty or hear your voice. The enemy is out to confuse me and distract me with so many things. But I know that you promised us that nothing can separate us from your love. Protect us and lead us back to you.

I don't want to forget. I want to remember. I want the moments to last forever, continue. Everything is so temporary except love. If love does not last forever than what does? Today I was looking at the fake flower. The real one dies. But the fake one tries to preserve itself. But it's fake. I pray that we may be real, but that we may have a continual flow of air, sun, water, and dirt. May all things continue, may good things last. May your love last forever.

I'm not really interested in school, or my future job, or material things. Those things to get at me once in awhile but I know it's not as great as it seems. I was never happy with routine and mundane things. I like things to be simple but never boring. Lord I want to make an impact in people's lives. I want to fill the whole earth with your glory. And to show people that you are real. Do not hide from me Oh Lord. Do not let them call me stupid or crazy. But show yourself to us so that we may believe that you are who you say you are.
I know you're real. If you aren't real then what is? If you don't love us then who does? Nothing is absolute, nothing is dependable, everything will go to waste. No matter how much even our own parents say that they love us, they can't always be there for us. Only you can.

I don't want to pretend. Pretend that life is so normal and this is all there is to it. To have shallow conversations and care about superficial things that don't matter. I want to live. To be free. To fly above this world. Our whole lives we live under a rock and have yet to experience the things out there. May we look only to you. Call out your name. Rescue us Lord save us from being devoured by darkness. Lead us to the light. Cleanse our hearts so that we may be with you. Put yourself in our minds that we may think always of you.

Love. help me to love and to love love.
May I be only satisfied with true love.

Love,
Rebekah

Don't Waste Your Life



I think the best thing a person can do is help another person.  Our lives are wasted because we spend so much time focusing on ourselves, but if we actually did something with our time to help someone else, then imagine what the world would look like.

I suppose that is why Jesus always told us to love one another. Even our enemies, especially our brothers. Love others out of the overflow of the great love that God has for us.

I haven’t really done much with my life in my opinion and it’s probably because I always lived selfishly. It didn’t really seem like much of a crime. What’s wrong with focusing on my own future and well-being? It seems so natural because in the end it’s me, myself, and I right?

The most influential people in the world, however, are the ones who laid down their lives for others. And I suppose that if I don’t want my life to go to waste that is what I must do. Ironically, spending my time to help others is probably one of the best things I could do for myself.

The best times in my life I would have to say were when I was there for someone else:  a family member, a friend, a complete stranger. Because when you see the impact you have, the value of your life increases. When you see lives being changed in front of your very eyes, you wonder, man what if I had never been born? Would this person be the same without me? It’s not really to puff up your ego, but during those hard times when you wish you had never been born, you remember that there is someone out there who is indeed very thankful that you were.

And hopefully that brings great joy to your heart.

With God, There are no coincidences

For three days a fierce winter storm had traveled 1,500 miles across the Northern Pacific from Alaska, packing gale-force winds and torrential rains. In the Sierra Nevadas to the east, the snow was piling up and would offer great skiing once the storm had passed.

In the foothills of the Sierras in the town of Grass Valley, California, the streets were flooded, and in some parts of town, the power was off where trees had blown down. At the small church, the heavy rain and high winds beat against the windows with a violence that Father O'Malley had never before heard.

In his tiny bedroom, O'Malley was laboriously writing Sunday's sermon by candlelight. Out of the darkness, the phone in his office rang, shattering his concentration. He picked up the candle, and with his hand cupped in front of it, ambled down the hall in a sphere of dim flickering light.

As he picked up the phone, a voice quickly asked, "Is this Father O'Malley?"

"Yes," O'Malley answered.

"I'm calling from the hospital in Auburn," said a concerned female voice. "We have a terminally ill patient who is asking us to get someone to give him his last rites. Can you come quickly?"

"I'll try my best to make it," O'Malley answered. "But the river is over it's banks, and trees are blown down all over town. It's the worst storm I've seen in all the years I've been here. Look for me within two hours."

The trip was only 30 miles, but it would be hard going. The headlights on Father O'Malley's 20-year-old car barely penetrated the slashing rain, and where the winding road crossed and re-crossed the river in a series of small bridges, trees had blown down across the river's banks. But for some reason, there was always just enough room for Father O'Malley to make his way around them. His progress was slow and cautious, but he continued on toward the hospital.

Not a single vehicle passed him during his long, tense journey. It was way past midnight, and anyone else out on a night like this would also have to be on an emergency mission.

Finally, in the near distance, the lights of the small hospital served as a beacon to guide O'Malley for the last 500 yards, and he hoped he had arrived in time. He parked behind the three other cars in the parking lot to avoid as much wind as possible, slipped into the right-hand seat and awkwardly wrestled his way into his raincoat before stepping out into the wind-whipped deluge.

With his tattered Bible tucked deep inside his overcoat pocket, O'Malley forced the car door to open, stepped out and then leaned into the wind. Its power almost bowled him over, and he was nearly blown away from the hospital entrance.

Once inside, the wind slammed the hospital door shut behind him, and as he was shaking the water from his coat, he heard footsteps headed his way. It was the night nurse.

"I'm so glad you could get here," she said. "The man I called you about is slipping fast, but he is still coherent. He's been an alcoholic for years, and his liver has finally given out. He's been here for a couple of weeks this time and hasn't had one single visitor. He lives up in the woods, and no one around here knows much about him, He always pays his bill with cash and doesn't seem to want to talk much. We've been treating him off and on for the last couple of years, but this time it's as though he's reached some personal decision and has given up the fight."

"What's your patient's name?"

"The hospital staff has just been calling him Tom," she replied.

In the soft night-light of the room, Tom's thin sallow countenance looked ghostlike and behind a scraggly beard. It was as though he had stepped over the thresh-hold and his life was already gone.

"Hello, Tom. I'm Father O'Malley. I was passing by and thought we could talk a bit before you go to sleep for the night."

"Don't give me any of that garbage," Tom replied. "You didn't just stop by at 3:30 in the morning. I asked that dumb night nurse to call someone to give me my last rites because I know my deal is over and it's my turn to go. Now get on with it."

"Patience," said Father O'Malley, and he began to say the prayers of the last rites.

After the "Amen," Tom perked up a bit, and he seemed to want to talk.

"Would you like to make your confession?" O'Malley asked him.

"Absolutely not," Tome answered. "But I would like to just talk with you a bit, before I go."

And so Tom and Father O'Malley talked abut this Korean War, and the ferocity of the winter storm, and the knee-high grass and summer blossoms that would soon follow.

Occasionally, during the hour or so before daylight, Father O'Malley would ask Tom again, "Are you sure you don't want to confess anything?"

After a couple of hours, and after about the fourth or fifth time that Father O'Malley asked the same question, Tom replied, "Father, when I was young, I did something that was so bad that I've never told anyone. It was so bad I haven't spent a single day since without thinking about it and reliving the horror."

"Don't you think it would be good for you to tell me about it?" O'Malley asked.

"Even now, I still can't talk about what I did," Tom said. "Even to you."

But as the gray light of dawn crept into the room and began to form shadows, Tom sadly said, "Okay. It's too late for anyone to do anything to me now, so I guess I might as well tell you."

"I worked as a switchman on the railroad all my life, until I retired a few years ago and moved up here to the woods. Thirty-two years, two months and 11 days ago, I was working in Bakersfield on a night kind of like tonight."

Tom's face became intense as the words began to tumble out. "It happened during a bad winter storm with a lot of rain, 50-mile-an-hour winds and almost no visibility. It was two nights before Christmas and to push away the gloom, the whole yard crew drank all through the swing shift. I was drunker than the rest of them, so I volunteered to go out in the rain and wind and push the switch for the northbound 8:30 freight."

Tom's voice dropped almost to a whisper as he went on. "I guess I was more drunk than I thought I was because I pushed that switch in the wrong direction. At 45 miles an hour that freight train slammed into a passenger car at the next crossing and killed a young man, his wife and their two daughters."

I have had to live with my being the cause of their deaths every day since then."

There was a long moment of silence as Tom's confession of this tragedy hung in the air. After what seemed like an eternity, Father O'Malley gently put his hand on Tom's shoulder and said very quietly, "If I can forgive you, God can forgive you, because in that car were my mother, my father and my two older sisters."

Story by Warren Miller

If we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness... I John 1:9 

 Miracles: When two paths cross in a way that could have only been arranged by God.

Where are our hearts?

Wrote this when I was 15 years old. haha i guess it took a couple years for my heart to change. but I'm amazed at how God has heard my prayers back then and answered them. He never forgets and I hope I never forget all the things He's done for me. 


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WHOOOOOOOWHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

THANK YOU LORD !@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!!!!

like whooaaa who still does xanga . now that its all about myspace and facebook and facespace blah blah

but yeahh i really wanted to share this for some reasons.
so anyways this gotta be one the best/ tiring weekends i had. now that i'm not grounded no more.like one of those days where you are so happy to be alive kind of things. and not only that with out doing anything bad(well except lying to my dad to go to gmpc lockin) but like lying for good reasons this time. im sorry to him btw. but mann i really learned alot from this lockin

oh yeahh cause we worshiped until 4 am !!! never worships liked that before
thats why i like blacked out at kachi the next day

                                                      -----------------------------

but anyways at the lockin i really like dae waen oppa's sermon.
the theme was being HYPOPRICITE. the thing is i really think i wasnt one? isnt that ironic
and in the sermon he even warned people can point fingers so easily at someone that being hypocrite but
its hardest for most people to realize that themselves are hypocrites. (
this was after some verse about first take out the plank in own eye before you tell someone else to take out speck out there's) something like that.
well i guess LORD you wanted me to know. i now know. but LORD you also helped me to understand thats its okayy that i'm not perfect and i will never be but you love me anyway and always have.

now at first i thought being a hypocrite was talkin the talk but not walkin the talk.
yes that is it too. but thats most obvious one. the one that people fail to see is when you
actually walk the talk. but your walking for the wrong reason

SAY WAH??? okay okay lets break it down. its like lets say someone says they believe in JESUS. ooh good. and not only they SAY they believe but they read the bible everyday, pray everyday, and worship at church every sunday. all the neceesities of a "good" christian. so the not only SAY that believe. but the ACTIONS also show it.

but what about their hearts?
don't you feel like somedays your singing praise songs mindlessly. like your mouth maybe moving but your mind is somewhere else thinking of someone else or something besides prasing GOD. yeahh... even pastors have been there. so you haven't been in this situation...your crazy...anyways i've always felt like that and it took me this long to realize i am the biggest hypocrite.

i realized this during the worship it was like 3 am. when sam oppa was like time to go and meditate and pray to yourselves. so i was like okayy lemmie go to the far corner of the gym and honestly i only stood up and moved to go sleep. so while everyone seperated to go pray. i was just about to lay down and fall asleep when in the corner of my eye i saw this guy. we shall call him HAMBURGUR. now now hamburgur was just praying his heart out. and he don't go to that church too and he is also shy(supposidly). anyways so in front these random people he raised his arms in cross motion, beating on the floor, literary praying with heart so shamelessly. and i was like daaaaaaaaangg. thats what it means to strip yourself of all your pride. and what really really shocked me was literaly tears yes i'll admit TEARS started falling down my face because i realized that i would never have courage to do that. and i've never seen anyone at gmc did that before. not even at retreats and maybe that's why sometimes our ministry doesnt feel united.
because we are all hypocrites.
well now GREAT. so i was sitting there like i knowing that i am a big fat hypocrite. LORD what do you want to do now. how can i fix this. and then BAM. like magic i remembered the end of d.w. sermon. which is crazy because before i didnt realize what it meant and i was like what is he talking about. that crazy... and started falling asleep.

well the thing is we cant really DO anything about it first. we have to change our hearts first. and i guess for me personally thats gunna take some time. but i know that LORD will realy truly help me and our ministry too.

see we try to come up with all these committees and retreats and oikos and tournaments and rallies and friday nights blah blah. which is all good. but not when the heart of the church is not really into it. and that why maybe its not helping that much. because people only come to church and retreats and oikos and blah blah for friends or blah blah blah besides GOD. and if our friends are not there we can't go cause we feel like we're gunna be left out. and blah blah it ends up not being about GOD but about yourself and friends.

whewww this is like super long now. i feel for bad for those who actually read this whole thing. but yeahh it took lot of courage to write this and share it so you better! just kidding. not really.

well whatever these are my crazzy thoughts from dw's sermon. im sorry some of it doesnt make sense cause i'm tired right now.and sorry for my bad grammars (if patrick chung reads this...i'm dead haha) but i hope it helps our minisitry. cause i've been coming to gmc for 12 years and even sometimes i dont feel like i'm really part of this ministry but i still pray for it everyday and it makes me sad when people talk bad about it.

so GMC we can have a praise team. and a worship every sunday. and a great pastor. and a retreats. and everything else that will make us LOOK like a church

but hopefully someday soon our hearts will be there too.

The Mystery of Evil and the Miracle of Life

A few days ago a student that I tutor showed me a video of these guys laughing while burning a whimpering dog for fun.  Usually he mocks me for believing in God, but that day he was so upset by the video, he looked at me and said “This world needs a God.”

It was the same day I saw on my FB newsfeed people posting a YouTube video of a helpless man getting attacked by seven people. I didn’t watch it because I knew I couldn’t handle it.

It makes you really wonder. How can people be that evil? What is going on in the mind of people who commit random acts of violence or murder their own children? How could people sell their own children into prostitution? How was it possible to convince people to exterminate an entire race?

That Sunday I remember listening to a sermon by an Apologetics preacher, Ravi Zacharias. In his message he addressed the issue of the mystery of evil and the miracle of life. I found the sermon online and took some notes on the four main struggles that humans face regarding this topic and what our response as believers should be.

1)      Mystery of Human Wickedness

Dr. Zacharias started off by retelling the stories of Susan Smith (mother who murdered her own two children) and Jeffery Dahmer (cannibalistic). The question that everyone asks when they hear these stories are why? Why would they do something like that? These are people who I have learned about in my psychology courses. I remember the professors trying to explain their behavior through theories of reinforcement or personality disorders.

However, Dr. Zacharias explained evil through Genesis chapter 3 in the bible: The Fall of Man. When God first created Adam and Eve, He spoke to them. He revealed His character to them and said that man was good. But at the same time God gives man a challenge. He tells them not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. God defined reality, He defined their boundaries and expected them to trust Him.
But the moment the devil deceived Eve to eat from the tree and then Adam, they fell. They fell because at that moment they chose to call God a liar. They wanted to be the ones to define good and evil apart from God.

“Wickedness is governing your life by a starting point of a lie”

From that point on two things appeared in humanity because we deceived ourselves into thinking that we defined reality. Violence and the body began to be abused in sexuality.

Dr. Zacharias then mentions the tower of Babel, the reason that God mixed the languages so that people could not understand each other. People wanted to make of name for themselves and define reality. However, this was dangerous because then people could call what was evil, good and what was good, evil because language defines reality. The Word defines reality.   

Goodness is believing in the truth while evil is believing in a lie. We cannot make sense of evil because it defies language and though; it is absolute nonsense.  What lies are you living with?

John 1 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning.

 14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.
John 14:6  Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

2)      Marvel of Worship

We as humans have a mysterious hunger that the world cannot satisfy. Something that love from interpersonal relationships cannot even satisfy. We may completely love our family, our spouse but there is still a deeper search for meaning.  An emptiness that cannot be filled by anything except God. Only God is big enough to fill the emptiness in us.

Why is it that the psalmist writes that his heart and flesh cry out for the living God? To rather dwell one day in His presence than spend thousands elsewhere. Why would two random strangers hug each other and shout with joy from hearing a hymn acknowledging that God is real?

Worship of the living God is what brings meaning into our lives.

3)      Mastery of Human Will

People who have a lot of money, no longer want more money but power. Nothing can satisfy them. However, where does true power come from?  

Dr. Zacharias shares an example of a time when his daughter was struggling with a deep personal issue when he tried to offer her practical solutions instead of understanding her struggles. He explained that he was distressed when he feared that he had felt as though his power of direction would not be taken. He tried to rely on a power that came from himself.

His wife, however, cradled their daughter and sang hymns to her as she cried her eyes out in her mother’s arms. There was such power within her. Power that comes from a relationship that is bigger than us.

4)      Miracle of Human Existence

We have raised a generation that has released children from the fear of supernatural. Christians overestimate miracles while skeptics underestimate miracles, which is why so many miracles have occurred over human history yet many still do not believe.

“The heart is so determined to follow its own way a miracle will not satisfy”

Yet the miracle that the world is really looking for is not only an answer for evil or life but something that will change the enslavement from within.

Christ is the objective truth that will bring the miracle in your life from the inside and out. The truth that can be known inside and shown on the outside. The miracle of people’s lives being transformed  by this truth. Those who search for this miracle will find it.

Dr. Zacharias then shares two applications for believers.

1)      Live a radically different life

Adam and Eve when they left the garden of Eden moved East. Cain after killing Abel moved East. People from the tower of Babel moved East. Lot moved East.
But Abraham went West. And God gave him everything. Land from the North, East, South, and West.
While the world is moving East, we as believers must move West. Our lives as believers must be so radically different from anything in the world. Beyond anything plausible, in complete contrast.

2)      Learn how to defend the bible

The biggest mistake we have made is that we have not taught our children how to defend the bible. We run around telling everyone that they are living by a lie while we are living by the truth yet we don’t even know how to defend the truth.

We must know why we believe all this to be true.  Why we trust God’s word to be the reality that must define our lives.

John 9: Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind

JOHN CHAPTER 9

Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind
 As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth.  And His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?"
 Jesus answered, "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.  We must work the works of Him who sent Me as long as it is day; night is coming when no one can work.  While I am in the world, I am the Light of the world."
 When He had said this, He spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and applied the clay to his eyes,  and said to him, "Go, wash in the pool of Siloam" (which is translated, Sent). So he went away and washed, and came back seeing.  Therefore the neighbors, and those who previously saw him as a beggar, were saying, "Is not this the one who used to sit and beg?"  Others were saying, "This is he," still others were saying, "No, but he is like him." He kept saying, "I am the one."
 So they were saying to him, "How then were your eyes opened?"  He answered, "The man who is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes, and said to me, 'Go to Siloam and wash'; so I went away and washed, and I received sight."  
They said to him, "Where is He?" He said, "I do not know."

The Pharisees Investigate the Healing
 They brought to the Pharisees the man who was formerly blind.  Now it was a Sabbath on the day when Jesus made the clay and opened his eyes.  Then the Pharisees also were asking him again how he received his sight. And he said to them, "He applied clay to my eyes, and I washed, and I see."  Therefore some of the Pharisees were saying, "This man is not from God, because He does not keep the Sabbath." But others were saying, "How can a man who is a sinner perform such signs?" And there was a division among them.  
 So they said to the blind man again, "What do you say about Him, since He opened your eyes?" And he said, "He is a prophet." 
The Jews then did not believe it of him, that he had been blind and had received sight, until they called the parents of the very one who had received his sight,  and questioned them, saying, "Is this your son, who you say was born blind? Then how does he now see?"
 His parents answered them and said, "We know that this is our son, and that he was born blind;  but how he now sees, we do not know; or who opened his eyes, we do not know. Ask him; he is of age, he will speak for himself."  His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jews; for the Jews had already agreed that if anyone confessed Him to be Christ, he was to be put out of the synagogue.  For this reason his parents said, "He is of age; ask him."
 So a second time they called the man who had been blind, and said to him, "Give glory to God; we know that this man is a sinner."
 He then answered, "Whether He is a sinner, I do not know; one thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see."  So they said to him, "What did He do to you? How did He open your eyes?"  He answered them, "I told you already and you did not listen; why do you want to hear it again? You do not want to become His disciples too, do you?"  
They reviled him and said, "You are His disciple, but we are disciples of Moses.  We know that God has spoken to Moses, but as for this man, we do not know where He is from."
 The man answered and said to them, "Well, here is an amazing thing, that you do not know where He is from, and yet He opened my eyes.  We know that God does not hear sinners; but if anyone is God-fearing and does His will, He hears him.  Since the beginning of time it has never been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a person born blind. 33If this man were not from God, He could do nothing."
 They answered him, "You were born entirely in sins, and are you teaching us?" So they put him out.

Spiritual Blindness
Jesus heard that they had put him out, and finding him, He said, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?"  He answered, "Who is He, Lord, that I may believe in Him?"  Jesus said to him, "You have both seen Him, and He is the one who is talking with you."  And he said, "Lord, I believe." And he worshiped Him.
And Jesus said, "For judgment I came into this world, so that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may become blind."
Those of the Pharisees who were with Him heard these things and said to Him, "We are not blind too, are we?"
Jesus said to them, "If you were blind, you would have no sin; but since you say, 'We see,' your sin remains."


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Though it is written that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Jesus has said that neither this blind man nor his parents have sinned. How is this possible? It is Jesus who decides whether you will be called a sinner nor not. It is those who believe in Him that will be saved. It is when you believe in Him, He will set you free, that you will no longer be a slave to sin, but a son who will remain in the house forever.

Do not be like the ones who rejected Jesus, believing that by their own righteousness, they are no longer sinners. But place your faith in the one who can forgive all sins. Jesus knew that this man and his family would come to Him, therefore he said that neither he nor his parents have sinned.

In the same way do not focus on your sins but put your faith in Jesus who forgives all sins! Your life was made sinful so that the glory of God can be shown, His abundant love and grace. The sins you have once lived with have been washed away so that you may now see.

Anyone who claims that he is without sin, is guilty of sin. But he who claims that he has sinned, is no longer guilty of sin. My friends, here is the truth, that through Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior, we are no longer guilty of sin.

For there is no condemnation for those who believe in His name.

Therefore may we continue to give thanks to our Father for His great love.
That we are no longer to be bound and punished.
But that we are free!
May we live with grateful and humble hearts
with joy and peace
Let us be reminded of His love daily
And may we testify to His goodness
Let us be renewed with His mercy
Out of love may we desire to complete His will
So that all those who were once blind,
may now see.

Why are paintings so valuable?


Why are paintings so valuable?

1.       They are highly sought after
2.       Rare, uncommon
3.       Connects with the emotions
4.       Depends on who painted it
5.       Balance

We may look at a cubism piece by Picasso and wonder how it is worth hundreds of millions. How could a painting that looks like a child could have painted it, be so valuable?

Or Van Gogh’s paintings were originally regarded as nothing, but one day I suppose somebody discovered how truly beautiful they were, and once his paintings were discovered they became highly sought after. After all people want what others want as well.

Some people develop personal attachments to these paintings. Just something about it resonates deeply within them, evokes an emotion that they have been struggling to place with words.

Some paintings are only famous because of its creator, a piece by Picasso or Gogh is automatically going to worth in the millions no matter how insignificant it may appear to be.

Nowadays people will find that in modern art there are seemingly crazy or simple paintings (the kind that look like the artist was angry with the canvas or got lazy and just painted a circle on it) that are actually worth millions. How can that be? For those paintings, however, the artists probably spent a significant amount on time on work that seems to be effortless. Even in the mash of colors, there is some sort of balance. The effortless look actually requires a lot of talent and skill.

Now how does this connect with life? Well if we saw ourselves/our lives as paintings, would we be a piece lying around in a dusty attic or a top-selling Picasso? As a child of God, you already know that just by your creator you are made for fame. No matter how insignificant you may feel, it doesn’t matter. Because Picasso’s worst painting is still a Picasso painting. And even if you feel as though you are God’s worst creation, after all you are still God’s creation.

However, the other four require more thought. For example: highly sought after. What if nobody discovered Van Gogh’s paintings. Would they still be valuable? What if they were sitting around in some garbage dump, waiting to be discovered.

You are a painting. Waiting to be discovered and admired by the world. But first you have to be bold and confident and put yourself out there. Not afraid of being rejected but trusting that you are God’s creation, you are more than a Van Gogh. Once that confidence is in you, you will naturally radiant His presence and be a light for His kingdom.

Rare, uncommon: Do you look/act like everyone else in this world? Or is there something about you that just stands out. For example the most expensive paintings are so valuable because they belong in a genre/category of their own. There’s something so revolutionary, fresh, and new about them. Are you a fresh of breath air in this moldy society where everybody tries to be what the world tells them they should be? If you linger in the presence of God, you will find yourself living, acting differently from the world. Remembering that you have been set apart. And people will notice that rare quality about you.

Connects with the emotions: Often times we believe that we are the only ones going through a certain problem or situation, but truth is we are not alone. There are those struggling with the same hurts, grateful for the same joys in life. Are you someone that is relatable, does your life story have experience, and do you have compassion for others? We have other people in our lives to basically share life. To encourage and help each other. Trust and connect. Come together as a whole.

Balance: Without balance, everything is out of order. Artists often spend a lot of time perfecting the balance in their paintings. They have to add just enough or take away just enough in order for the painting to come together as a whole. This is what I sometimes like to call in my life, organized chaos. In our busy schedules and lives, if something is out of balance it can throw off the whole week. That is why we need to trust God that He has everything in order. That He has given us everything we need in our lives, nothing more and nothing less. That sometimes though it feels like you have unfinished business or you are taking on too much, God has everything under control. It just takes patience to finish the work.

This could also apply to our physical appearances. We often tend to criticize ourselves without realizing that God has made us perfectly balanced. We are the only beings that He has made after His own image. Therefore, though we complain about our looks, there is beauty to it. Look at some of the most famous portraits, the faces are not perfectly symmetrical, but there is a perfect balance to them. And beauty even out of characteristics that seem unordinary.

Overall it is important to remember that a painting is created to glorify the painter.
But the painting itself has influence in that it is able to glorify the painter through the admiration of others.  Resulting, in the painter becoming even more proud of his painting.

Father,
I hope to be a painting that will make you really proud.