Put not your confidence in the flesh
Happy Easter!
So today Judy and I were supposed to go to Easter service but then Judy got food poisoning from eating expired chilly lol (funny but not funny), so I decided to listen instead to a New Philly sermon online
It's funny how things work out in unexpected ways. If Judy hadn't gotten food poisoning then I would not have listened to this sermon..lol sucks for her tho..what a great friend...I'll get her some ginger ale.
but anyways. speaking of timing. my friend from school put in a group kakaotalk this timely word on Good Friday.
Some words of encouragement. Today is Good Friday. Tim Keller said once that the disciples saw the greatest act of God in history, Christ's death on the cross, then went home and lost their faith. Can this also be the case for us? Things in our life now may look awful, far from ideal, but can the same thing be going on that we do not see the great act of God being carried out in our life right now? Take heart, for God works all things for the good of those who love Him. Happy Easter!
I say timely cause these past few days have been pretty difficult emotionally for me traveling around. I get kind of disoriented. on top of that it's like Good Friday/ Easter weekend and I didn't go to church at all during Easter weekend for the first time in my life. Because of that I felt kind of distant from God and lost sight of the gospel during a time when I want to feel connected to the gospel.
Some more background: for the past couple years I've been struggling on and off with my weight. which at times doesn't seem like a big deal. I post pics all the time of me eating delicious stuff. and joke around about dieting. and it's seems funny and all but at times I do get pretty depressed about it. I think my identity and worth has been tied to my appearance, especially my weight. Growing up I was always really skinny. except in fourth grade that one year my mom fed me galbi like everyday so I wouldn't get sick or tired from my ice skating training (whyyyy mom whyyyyy), and I was literally a 106 pound 4th grader. I still remember my weight. during that time, I hated the way I looked. hated taking pictures. felt so ugly, awkward, and insecure. had a major crush on this guy (would write about it in my Britney Spears diary) lol and then be sad because he would never like me (the ogre) back.
so fast forward to 2013 when my metabolism decided it was done working. wants to retire. take it easy. and I gained 10-15 pounds. it doesn't seem like much, but on a 5'3 girl it's alot. currently I'm the heaviest I've ever been and those 4th grade insecurities are coming back. my confidence at an all time low. and when you feel worthless and also hopeless because no matter how much you want to lose weight, it seems impossible. you get depressed. you hate yourself. and you don't feel like filling your mind with truth or acceptance or compassion. it's hard to see beyond that.
and then there were moments when I'm like okay some people they may not be very attractive by societal norms but their personalities make them beautiful. maybe I should work on my personality. but it's not like you can just "work on" your personality. my personality is not that great and I can't really get away with my assholish and ridiculous behavior looking like this. it's very stressful.
it's not I'm moping about it all day everyday...but during certain moments, for example not seeing friends and family you haven't seen in awhile that those insecurities come back hard. having asian parents constantly badgering you about it. not fun. and so these past few days have not been fun.
when I'm happy and content, I'm usually not actively seeking God. but it's when I'm feeling down that I really need him. I wish this weren't the case (as in why do I only want to seek him when things are bad cause then I feel like bad things are going to happen so that I will seek him) but it is.
so I go on the New Philly website cause I really need something. and I click on the first message by P. Christian: Put No Confidence in the Flesh. and I listen and I'm laughing and saying amen. but I wasn't really wrecked by it until the last few minutes when he's closing the message with prayer. keyboard playing in the background to make it more dramatic of course. this is what he said:
LORD, I thank you that when you see us you do not regard us according to the flesh. And so today I just hear the spirit of the LORD saying stop putting your confidence in the flesh. My dear children. When I see you. Man looks on the outer appearance, but I see the heart. When I see you, I see your heart. And even if you're in here or you're listening or watching at our New Philly campuses and you've been struggling in your spiritual walk. One of my friends, Pastor Paul, he always says, "weak faith, weak love is not fake love." even in your spiritual walk, if you're struggling. and you feel like, "I feel so distant from God." When you struggle. if you really put your confidence in the gospel. even when you struggle, you don't have to feel distant from God. cause he never brought you near through your record, he did it through the righteousness of Christ. and that righteousness never changes. even when you're not reading your bible. even when you're having trouble praying. even if you're having trouble with the leadership covenant of New Philadelphia Church, it doesn't make you feel distant because he never brought you near through your record in the first place. So even if you're struggling, the Father says, I still see your heart, and I see that you're chasing after me, I see that you're tryna love me. I see that you're tryna walk in truth.
And so Father, I pray for every son and daughter in the room, and every New Philly campus and everyone watching by video and listening by mp3. I pray for each person listening right now. that the Word of God would run swiftly through their hearts LORD. run swiftly through their minds in bringing a renewal. that we will no longer put our confidence in the flesh, but will put our full confidence and boast in the gospel. and will put our boasts in our weaknesses because through the gospel even our weaknesses have become our strengths, our weaknesses have become opportunities for the weak to say, "I am strong." Renew our minds, oh God. Not only for how we see ourselves but also how we see each other. that we'll learn to honor one another. we'll learn to bring out the gold in one another. by no longer regarding each other according to the flesh. but seeing each other in the spirit. I pray this LORD in Jesus name. Amen.
---
You know when you know certain truths but it doesn't really hit you until it brings renewal to your mind and heals your heart through the Spirit. I guess that prayer was one of those moments. I can't be like, oh I'm good now, won't be struggling with that anymore. cause I've overcame my insecurities in the past to have them return. but I feel hopeful and at peace. knowing that God is with me in my struggles. and praying for everyone reading this now to be filled with hope and peace that God is with you in your struggles too. praying for freedom and truth for all of us. this is an area of weakness for me but it is my strength to write this all down and be vulnerable. to encourage others and myself as I write it and later when I read it.
So take heart, for God works all things for the good of those who love him.
Happy Easter.
So today Judy and I were supposed to go to Easter service but then Judy got food poisoning from eating expired chilly lol (funny but not funny), so I decided to listen instead to a New Philly sermon online
It's funny how things work out in unexpected ways. If Judy hadn't gotten food poisoning then I would not have listened to this sermon..lol sucks for her tho..what a great friend...I'll get her some ginger ale.
but anyways. speaking of timing. my friend from school put in a group kakaotalk this timely word on Good Friday.
Some words of encouragement. Today is Good Friday. Tim Keller said once that the disciples saw the greatest act of God in history, Christ's death on the cross, then went home and lost their faith. Can this also be the case for us? Things in our life now may look awful, far from ideal, but can the same thing be going on that we do not see the great act of God being carried out in our life right now? Take heart, for God works all things for the good of those who love Him. Happy Easter!
I say timely cause these past few days have been pretty difficult emotionally for me traveling around. I get kind of disoriented. on top of that it's like Good Friday/ Easter weekend and I didn't go to church at all during Easter weekend for the first time in my life. Because of that I felt kind of distant from God and lost sight of the gospel during a time when I want to feel connected to the gospel.
Some more background: for the past couple years I've been struggling on and off with my weight. which at times doesn't seem like a big deal. I post pics all the time of me eating delicious stuff. and joke around about dieting. and it's seems funny and all but at times I do get pretty depressed about it. I think my identity and worth has been tied to my appearance, especially my weight. Growing up I was always really skinny. except in fourth grade that one year my mom fed me galbi like everyday so I wouldn't get sick or tired from my ice skating training (whyyyy mom whyyyyy), and I was literally a 106 pound 4th grader. I still remember my weight. during that time, I hated the way I looked. hated taking pictures. felt so ugly, awkward, and insecure. had a major crush on this guy (would write about it in my Britney Spears diary) lol and then be sad because he would never like me (the ogre) back.
so fast forward to 2013 when my metabolism decided it was done working. wants to retire. take it easy. and I gained 10-15 pounds. it doesn't seem like much, but on a 5'3 girl it's alot. currently I'm the heaviest I've ever been and those 4th grade insecurities are coming back. my confidence at an all time low. and when you feel worthless and also hopeless because no matter how much you want to lose weight, it seems impossible. you get depressed. you hate yourself. and you don't feel like filling your mind with truth or acceptance or compassion. it's hard to see beyond that.
and then there were moments when I'm like okay some people they may not be very attractive by societal norms but their personalities make them beautiful. maybe I should work on my personality. but it's not like you can just "work on" your personality. my personality is not that great and I can't really get away with my assholish and ridiculous behavior looking like this. it's very stressful.
it's not I'm moping about it all day everyday...but during certain moments, for example not seeing friends and family you haven't seen in awhile that those insecurities come back hard. having asian parents constantly badgering you about it. not fun. and so these past few days have not been fun.
when I'm happy and content, I'm usually not actively seeking God. but it's when I'm feeling down that I really need him. I wish this weren't the case (as in why do I only want to seek him when things are bad cause then I feel like bad things are going to happen so that I will seek him) but it is.
so I go on the New Philly website cause I really need something. and I click on the first message by P. Christian: Put No Confidence in the Flesh. and I listen and I'm laughing and saying amen. but I wasn't really wrecked by it until the last few minutes when he's closing the message with prayer. keyboard playing in the background to make it more dramatic of course. this is what he said:
LORD, I thank you that when you see us you do not regard us according to the flesh. And so today I just hear the spirit of the LORD saying stop putting your confidence in the flesh. My dear children. When I see you. Man looks on the outer appearance, but I see the heart. When I see you, I see your heart. And even if you're in here or you're listening or watching at our New Philly campuses and you've been struggling in your spiritual walk. One of my friends, Pastor Paul, he always says, "weak faith, weak love is not fake love." even in your spiritual walk, if you're struggling. and you feel like, "I feel so distant from God." When you struggle. if you really put your confidence in the gospel. even when you struggle, you don't have to feel distant from God. cause he never brought you near through your record, he did it through the righteousness of Christ. and that righteousness never changes. even when you're not reading your bible. even when you're having trouble praying. even if you're having trouble with the leadership covenant of New Philadelphia Church, it doesn't make you feel distant because he never brought you near through your record in the first place. So even if you're struggling, the Father says, I still see your heart, and I see that you're chasing after me, I see that you're tryna love me. I see that you're tryna walk in truth.
And so Father, I pray for every son and daughter in the room, and every New Philly campus and everyone watching by video and listening by mp3. I pray for each person listening right now. that the Word of God would run swiftly through their hearts LORD. run swiftly through their minds in bringing a renewal. that we will no longer put our confidence in the flesh, but will put our full confidence and boast in the gospel. and will put our boasts in our weaknesses because through the gospel even our weaknesses have become our strengths, our weaknesses have become opportunities for the weak to say, "I am strong." Renew our minds, oh God. Not only for how we see ourselves but also how we see each other. that we'll learn to honor one another. we'll learn to bring out the gold in one another. by no longer regarding each other according to the flesh. but seeing each other in the spirit. I pray this LORD in Jesus name. Amen.
---
You know when you know certain truths but it doesn't really hit you until it brings renewal to your mind and heals your heart through the Spirit. I guess that prayer was one of those moments. I can't be like, oh I'm good now, won't be struggling with that anymore. cause I've overcame my insecurities in the past to have them return. but I feel hopeful and at peace. knowing that God is with me in my struggles. and praying for everyone reading this now to be filled with hope and peace that God is with you in your struggles too. praying for freedom and truth for all of us. this is an area of weakness for me but it is my strength to write this all down and be vulnerable. to encourage others and myself as I write it and later when I read it.
So take heart, for God works all things for the good of those who love him.
Happy Easter.