Two Year Update

                                                            EMMAUS Banquet Testimony
                                                                   Video Credit: Cheeia


Wow can't believe it's already been over two years since I shared my testimony at the EMMAUS Banquet.

Today in service we sang the song In Your Freedom. As I was singing this song a wave of emotions hit me cause I listened to this song a bajillion times while I was in Korea.

I realized that everything from Korea has already faded away. the friends I made, the food I ate, the church that I attended.

everything except God.

ALOT of things have changed in these two years. I've lost of lot of friends, made many new ones. My relationship with my family has gotten alot better. I'd like to think I got less sluggish. hehe. I wake up at 7am now! who am I...

In Korea I changed my major to Psychology and joked around about going to grad school in California.
Now it's a reality as I still can't believe I'm getting my doctorate in Clinical Psyc and moving to Orange County in less than a month.

-I read in an article that the real world is harsh so we should just stay in school forever. change majors. hide in the bushes if you have to. the author wrote-

True story. I'm in the class of 2018 o.O not counting the year or two I'll spend working on my dissertation. ackkkk I don't even know what a dissertation is....

but anyways. moving to California means I am literally leaving everyone and everything I know here and starting new. which I could see as a good thing. but all this change has been making my brain hurt. I realized that it is difficult to have a stable friendship/relationship with anyone and to be honest it made me kind of sad.

as I was listening to this song though during worship, I felt very comforted knowing that even though all these changes God remains the same.

wherever I go. whoever I am. His love and faithfulness endures.

I search for You God of strength 
I bow to You in my brokenness 
And no other King could have so humbly come 
To save my soul and heal my heart 
I have nothing more than all You offer me 
There is nothing else that's of worth to me 
And I love You Lord 
You rescued me 
You are all that I want 
You're all that I need 
I pray to You God of peace 
I rest in You my cares released 
I have nothing more than all You offer me 
There is nothing else that's of worth to me 
And I love You Lord 
You rescued me 
You are all that I want 
You're all that I need 
In Your freedom I will live 
In Your freedom I will live 
I offer devotion, I offer devotion

It's a book!

I finally compiled all the blog posts and into a book.
I have no idea why it's so expensive.......the color pictures?? ^__^"



http://www.lulu.com/shop/rebekah-so/120-days/paperback/product-20520904.html

One year update

Exactly a year ago I arrived to Seoul and got off at the Ewha University bus stop, confused because I thought I had missed the Yonsei bus stop. Miraculously ran into Chad and Chris from my school back in Maryland, who escorted me to the I-house, only for me to find that I didn't have a room because I accidentally checked male instead of female on my housing application. 

That day marked the first day of my amazing and awesome experience at Yonsei. Where I spent my nights at Barfly and Hongdae and realized I'm such a grandma, climbed a mountain (realized how not-fit I am), ate unlimited BBQ in Sinchon followed by waffles of course and back-to-back desserts. Discovered how good Korean fried chicken was. Stayed up all night in the SK lobby ordering McDonalds. Woke up at 3pm to go to KLI everyday at 4. Had mini vacations (Jeju and Busan) during my trip, which was already like a big vacation. Made friends with the funniest/ unique people ever. And did what you were never supposed to while studying abroad (of course I would). Fell in love.

But most importantly I had an encounter with the living God. To begin to taste His goodness and the riches of His kingdom. To get a glimpse of what His will was for me. Understand His love. And discover how exciting a life led by the Holy Spirit really is.

Yeah.....and as soon I came back to Maryland all these things faded away.

It's so true when old people tell you that life is short. really short.

I think the first thing I say when people ask me "How was Korea" is "I wish I could go back"

I really do miss everyone and everything so much. But I guess with everything you have to learn to keep moving forward and make the best of what's around you. 

While I was in Korea my spiritual life shot up really fast. Looking back from my first entry to the last one, I realized just how quickly I've matured. But when I returned I truly learned what it meant to develop deep roots. To grow wide. So that not only are you a really tall tree, but a nice fat one too.
So that nothing that comes your way in life can knock you down. 

I still remember all the prophesies that I received while I was there. And though it seems so out of reach now, I have to keep believing that God will allow me to fulfill them. At times it seems like Korea was all just a dream. But I have to trust that God will complete the good works He began in me. 

Last semester I was really distracted and had little to no motivation to do anything. But now I can slowly feel myself moving forward again. To sum it up two very important things I learned was.

1) Pray. Always pray. 

2) Never let go. Never give up 

I plan to go back to Korea next year. To have fun catching up, reminiscing, eating, and seeing how the place has changed. If the chicken place and waffles stand will still be there?! 

But I wonder as well. 

How much will I have changed since the first time I got off the bus and stepped foot into Sinchon.  

Day 120

Writing this last post is one of the hardest things i've had to do.

Day 120.

can't believe i'm finally typing those words.

oh snap. emotions are running high.

i've never had any trouble writing. just flow from my head.

but i wonder now how i should end this. what i should say.

All endings are also beginnings.

We just don't know it at the time..

I'm not gunna cry as i write this. cause there'll be more.

maybe i'll start a new blog. or update this one once in awhile.

this is just a beginning of my life. of my time in korea.

i'll be back korea. for sure :D

had such a fun day with my friends.
met my sole relative here. Yae-in unni

haha she's so cool wish i hung out with her more.

wish i did alot more things here.

but i'm leaving with no regrets.

because one day i'll have all the time in the world

to do all the things i want to do.

ate fried chicken with the fam friends

i wanna say 'one last time' but i'm not gunna!

we will eat fried chicken again.

lol i really wasnt planning on crying.

but i told them that the reason i made a facebook before i came to korea

was that i knew that i would make friends in korea that i would want to keep in touch with.

i loved my friends even before i met them.

and then gina looked at me. and was like dont cry

and then the tears started coming.

hahaah ms. hello kitty!!! i'll miss you so much.

went to barfly afterwards.

danced the night away

and then took so many sticker pics :D

ahh good memories.

i prayed tonight that i wouldn't be sad.

but leave with happy memories.

we've said our byes to many of our friends.

said we'll keep in touch till the end.

i wonder if we really will.

only time will tell.

but i really really hope we do.

i've truly met some awesome people here.

i need to pack haven't even started and i'm leaving for the airport in a couple hours.

to fly on a plane that i don't even know if there are any seats left cause i forgot to confirm my seat.

hahaha story of my life.

always chaotic. but somehow things always work out.

and things will always work out.

it always does in the end.

i just have to make it there.

and when i do each time. a new door opens for me.

lol am i getting too corny?

i know i have million things to do.

but i just want to spend the last couple hours here in korea with God.

just going over all the things He's shown me and how i've been transformed.

new revelations. its only the beginning.

i'll be back 2 years from now. to see how this place has changed.

to continue learning about the promises of this land.

today i found a museum of Yonsei history, about Underwood's vision here.

that this school may educate those who will serve this world.

to bring peace and justice to this world. in the spirit of Jesus Christ.

may the students be mighty and strong.

to soar like the eagle that represents them.

let nothing bring them down.

And this same blessing is over me.

as i return back home. i'll bring it.

before i came here i prayed that i would meet God.

and find my life's destiny.

i now know who i am. and who i'm meant to be.

and together we are unstoppable.

my time here. is only a piece.

of my life as a whole.

i'm coming home.

and one day i'll return to my heavenly home.

remembering all the days of my life.

both reminiscent and excited

for all the days to come.

Thank you Father,

May I be reminded of your love in times of sufferings and blessings.

May your presence be with me always.

May I find favor in your sight.

And may I first seek your kingdom and righteousness in all things that I do.

In your precious son's name we pray,

Amen.

Day 119

9:00am wake up for morning prayer.

11:20 am missed morning prayer

12:45 head out to church

2:06 get to church.

its hot today. and i'm glistening not sweating.

sit on the seat and my thighs get stuck to it.

yuck i hate when that happens.

my last sunday at New Philly for now.

dont worry i'll be back to pour back the blessings i've received.

today's sermon was about when things get from bad to worse. to keep having faith.

all things work for our good

hallelujah.

today when my symptoms came again worse than before. i just stared at it and laughed.

hit me with your best shot fear.

i'll just keep getting back up.

after service mama tina and the other emmaus staff. rona, sarah, and matt

prayed over me and blessed me before i left

so encouraging.

i'm a sunflower with lots of seeds

taller than all the other flowers

and soon there will be many other sunflowers before me.

a cactus in a dry land

they will come to me for living water.

the words of God, the lessons i've learned here are written on my heart.

His heart beats faster when He sees me.

better watch out maryland

i'm coming back fully equipped, fully clothed.

i'm coming home, i'm coming home

tell the world, i'm coming home.

hung out with my korean friend ranhee and her friend minjee too.

i'll see her again as well!

can't believe we still kept in contact after all these years.

when i say i'll keep in touch. I WILL.

so dont worry TT.TT

today is halmae (ann's) last night here.

ate meat and took sticker pics.

and now we're gunna chill the night away.

one by one we're all leaving.

returning back to our homes.

but i'm not sad cause we'll all meet again.

i will come find you. MWAHAHAHAHA.

no really. i will.

i like to travel anyways. i'll take a world tour.

and visit errrbody.

until we meet again. VEGAS reunion!

ahhh :) it's been a good couple months

let us all leave with happy memories

Day 118

i am so pooped out.

shopped from like 5-10 pm today for souvenirs

had 9 shopping bags. 1 and half of them was mine. and the rest was chubby cheeks

he even got a souvenir for his dog.

how generous of him....

as soon as i get back from shopping.

get ready in 10 min to go to club naked.

the club i got wasted at in the beginning of this trip.

before my life got turned around.

mmmmm good memories...

decided to go out cause its the last night out with my ladies~

it was real chill.

i was there chillin like a villain.

except more like chillin like an angel.

cause i was praying at the club :D

my prayer rap. 

Father,

forgive the youth in this place

i know we've been to you a disgrace

meant to be wiped out without a trace

are we really a hopeless race

are our bodies just a waste of space

instead treat us with mercy and grace

clothe us in wedding garments of lace

and draw us to your loving embrace

that we realize, rethink, and retrace

that our hearts will beat to a new pace

in this lost generation.

there is still hope.

there is still one girl here who remembers you.

so remember me. 

and do not forsake this generation please. 

life is both a gift and a mission.

once you learn to balance these two sides

you learn how to live.

which is why after i was done praying

we went and ate so much streetfood :D

best part of the night.

watermelon on a stick.

corn dog, fish cake.

icecream cone :)

life is good.

Day 117

i guess most people after they are done with finals

wanna party like there's no tomorrow.

but for me i just want to rest like snorlax level 99.

ate my heart out.

then went to the spa :D

at the spa i swam around and met this cute grandma.

she has the biggest belly in the world.

like a female santa claus!

we were talking.

she tried to swim like 5 feet and was out of breath.

said she couldn't swim right now cause she's drunk.

puahaha cant believe i'm swimming with a drunk gma.

life is so werid sometimes...

so she made me swim and watched me enviously.

and clapped and smiled and gave me thumbs up the whole time.

she told me i was so beautiful.

ahh i love old people ^___^ they make you feel so pretty.

and she asked me how old i was.

20.

ah...that's a beautiful age she said to be.

she said she was 65.

she showed me her finger.

she cut it this morning while chopping up veggies.

she told me her back hurts.

showed me the scars on her stomach from the surgery she got 10 weeks ago.

i asked her what's wrong with her stomach. why its so huge.

she explained, but i couldn't understand. the words in korean were too hard for me.

she said she was in a lot of pain.

i wanted to heal her. i just didn't know how.

i wish i knew how.

i prayed for her. asked God to take away her pain.

that in her old age she has still a lot to live for.

her life is still valuable.

she is still beautiful.

i told her she was real cute.

and she got real happy and was bouncing around.

how cute....

since we were on the topic of health issues.

i told her what was up with me.

and she got all big eyed and took me to the oriental medicine place in the spa.

and told the lady there my deal.

and the lady there was like she cant do anything about it.

she told me i should def go to a hospital for that.

but the thing is i already went..and it was booked.

marmarmar how do i say that in korean...

i told gma not to worry and left.

in a way i still am healthy. i still have alot.

there's no need to worry.

in the changing room.

this middle age lady was talking to me.

she asked me where i was from.

if i was japanese. and i said no i'm from america.

she said i must be very blessed. that nation is rich.

i come to the spa to play around.

but she comes to here cause her house has no bathtub.

i could tell she wasnt that old but she looked as if she aged too quickly.

limpy hair with strands of grey, crooked yellow teeth.

i'm thinking about this in the hair drying room.

i guess how blessed i really am

to be young and 'rich'

to have a future.

and i overhear 3 american girls next to me.

they look to be around my age 

they are talking more like complaining.

we really do worry too much about little things.

life is all about perspective.

Day 116

Last day of Korean class with stone face

man cant believe it....

seems like yesterday i was goofing around in that class

stone face taking all my money.

puahaha today she returned all the money she took from me and erick.

aww how thoughtful. i will miss you stone face

after class i went to the hospital.

only to find that everything is basically booked until next month

i guess there nothing to do except wait until i get to the states..

though i feel like each day that passes by my symptoms will get worse.

but in times where things seem hopeless i must have hope

everything will be okay.

saw green lantern today :D

that movie was only wonderful cause ryan reynolds was in it ^__^

mmm very nice.

called to be a light.

a peacekeeper in this world.

fight for justice.

what seems to be our weakness are actually a greatest strengths

overcome fear with courage

we are chosen

there is something that is in us that He sees. and we must believe in ourselves.

whenever i watch movies or hear songs nowadays i'm always reminded of what i learned here.

His love. the story of this world. my mission. my story.

NRB with cheeia again. heheehe i love nrbing with her she picks the most awesome old school songs.

before i leave korea. this is my song to Jesus.

to sum up basically what i've learned here and how i've changed.

story of a new chapter in my life.

"The Reason"

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is You

and the reason is You 

Day 115

2 finals in a row.

I AM DONE :D

how do i feel?

let's just say i'm glad that all my classes are pass/fail

ching! ^___^

after my exams though i was getting attacked so hard

with fatigue and stress.

weird getting stressed after you finish all your exams/papers....

so i like slept outside for a bit.

talked to jong yoon for a bit.

he has exams from 6:00 - 11:00pm.

chemical engineering stuff. blech that's disgusting.

he got them dark circles under his eyes.

my fatigue and stress is nothing compared to his. i need to stop being a baby.

after he left. i napped in my room

and woke up super cranky.

sat outside for awhile praying.

trying to figure out what was stressing me out

so i could cut it out before it starts eating me up.

cant turn into a stressed out octopus.

if you ever feel confused/doubtful/insecure about something: These feelings indicate that you've strayed away from what God wanted you to do and you're trying to take control of the situation.

i guess when situations come up we automatically have a tendency to try to take control of it, and then when things dont go your way or you dont understand what's going on you get real stressed about it.

but trust in the Lord with all your heart.

and peace will follow.

today is la shawn's  (cindy) last night in korea TT.TT

so we gunna NRB!!!!

yeahhhhh i love singing even though i suckkkkk

but that makes it more fuuunnnn and less intimidating for others

right after i'm done nrbing with cindy and friends

cheeia hits me up for some more nrbing.

YAYYYY nrb round 2 !!!

nrb from like 11:00pm-2:00am

ahh yehahh

i thought nrb would release my stress

but i got back and my body was being abnormal again

i didn't go to the hospital today to figure out what's going on.

and i dont know how to go to the hospital in korea TT.TT

so i got more stressed out.

on top of that extra side order of stress from something else.

aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhck. Lord just take me noooowwwww

oh yeah i was being real overdramatic.

praying and crying. stop i'm coool. wahhhhh praying and crying again. 

around 4:00 am i was good.

trust in the Lord with all your heart and peace will follow.

everything is gunna be okay.

somehow it always is for me.

Day 114

woke up nice and early.

to go volunteer at the children's library

i had a dream right before i woke up

telling me to love on the children and tell them that they are beautiful.

i think i understand now why God led me to that place randomly.

and how i was able to get a job there as soon as i walked into that place.

so interesting....you follow what He tells you, not even knowing where you're going and what you're gunna do there.

and you just get amazed that He already has everything planned out for you.

i am to sow seeds into the hearts of the children.

we say our children are the future and all

but sometimes we really underestimate children.

they are the ones who we have to spend the most time nurturing and ministering to.

God remembers the children, His favor is on the second generation.

but not only that the enemy is always out to get the children first.

hit them with all the lies at a young age so that as they grow up they learn to live in bondage of these lies and be separated from God and the truth.

we must protect the children.

i mentioned before that even at such a young age children are individuals.

they all have their distinct personalities.

and watching them interact is so interesting and hilarious.

and when you look at kids sometimes you're like ohh that girl is gunna grow to be like this and that boy is gunna be a pimp.

i saw in all the kids a possibility of such bright futures.

but at the same time God was showing me all the possible paths of destruction.

the girl who is really smart and bosses all the other kids around.

in a flash i saw her future, who she would become and the lies that would attack her

the persecution she may face because of her intelligence would either lead her to loneliness in the form of covering herself in earthly knowledge or in superficiality.

i prayed that these children be established in their identities as children of God.

so the whole time i did what God told me to do in my dream.

hugging them, telling them they were beautiful.

Ms. Know it all :D i told her she was so smart.

they love me ^___^ puahahaha they call me Sexy Teacher.

eh hehehehe.....

and then they started doing this sexy wave dance.

oh my...stop that children..yeah i really need to pray for them.

especially the girl who keeps grabbing my lady humps...

and the boy who tries to eat my leg cause i taste yummy

this kid! needs extra prayer..

ah...i love kids.

if you dont love children.

work on that! that is a blatant attack from the enemy.

we are meant to love on children.

gunna go sunday school teacher crazy when i get back to md.

but yeah in md i'm also a tutor. and i've been praying lately that God will use me in that position to sow seeds into the lives of my students.

and then! i get an email from my tutor manager today saying that he is changing his business to be a Christian tutoring business. so basically his business is gunna have God at the center. oh snap~

his goal is for the students to remember that education is not their lives but that our lives are a gift and mission from God.

and education is a tool in life.

he also said he's gunna start this business with me, let go of all his other tutors, and give me all the students.

ahmahgunah. wow...

when i read this i was just blown away.

that's what God's favor is.

ballin~

thank the promise giver, and don't focus too much on the promises.

for He has much more in store for me.

*oh yeah side note prayer request.

mmm yeah how do i say this. lately.. well actually for the past month.

my body has been doing some abnormal things. i was going to wait until i get back to the states to go to the hospital. but its been going on for a long time and it could be nothing but it could also be potentially serious. sorry for the vagueness..

i'm going to the hospital today.

please pray that I have increased faith, more love for God, a commitment to do His will, and to seek His kingdom and righteousness first.

then all things will be okay :D

Day 113

today is the last day of topics class.

i gave grandma teacher an awkward hug.

i shall miss her dearly T.T

she was sooo cute TT.TT

everytime i hear someone say "by the way" (she says it at least 10 times per lecture) i will think of her~

we had a pizza party!

and while we ate we watched a movie.

that almost made me throw up the pizza i ate...

the movie was about this family in North Korea.

super sad. had like 10 potential cry scenes

made me cry so much. not the pretty shed a few tears kind.

but the wahhhhh i want to rip out my heart kind.

got my pizza all wet....

how could there be this kind of suffering in the world.

that land is straight up in oppression and we have to fight for it.

conquer back what is rightfully His.

after the movie i went this nice, peaceful lake spot

to pray for North Korea.

for a release of freedom over that land.

there was this one scene when the guy who had just found out that his wife died.

was saying that God has forgotten North Korea.

that He has no love for that nation because of the sufferings He allows on it.

i pray that God remembers the children in that nation.

He remembers His promises for that nation.

He frees humankind from suffering.

And gives hope in a place of hopelessness.

When humans are faced with suffering.

they have two options.

to turn their backs on God in anger and bitterness.

or seek Him and put all their hope and trust in Him.

I pray that those in NK have hope.

I've also learned recently that in praying for healing or freedom

We must also pray for transformation and commitment.

Only those who know the truth can be set free.

There is no point of someone being healed or receiving freedom only for them to fall back into the bondage of sin.

to return to slavery.

Perhaps God waited so long to set His people free because He already knew that once He set them free they would not thank Him, but complain and set up false idols.

In praying for NK we must already pray with faith that God will release freedom upon that land by praying that once they are free they will not continue in old ways but be established under a New Covenant. under the blood of Jesus Christ. for it is Jesus that will set them free.

for once they accept Jesus then they will seek God's kingdom first and the nation will receive all the promises that God has for them.

they will be able to rest in His presence and where there is God's presence, there is freedom.

we must pray that this nation will rise in the end of times.

that this nation will bless Israel for it has understood the sufferings and persecution of Israel.

for those who bless Israel will be blessed.

and those who curse it will be cursed.

that from its sufferings this nation has learned obedience.

obedience to God and for His will.

Father I pray.

that you remember Korea.

Day 112

Sunday 6/12/2011

last week in korea.

so many things to do so little time.

i'm freeaking out man.

woke up late and missed church.

so i listened to the new philly podcast

steven buchamp's sermon on priesthood.

oh snapppp like wah bamm bamm revelations.

if there was 3 things i learned in Korea it is this.

I AM

1) Favorite child of God

2) Beautiful, pure bride of Christ

3) Anointed by God as a high priest

protect these three identities with humility and love.

now i'm good to go :D

since my time here the number 10 has been popping up everywhere.

and then i also found out that the Emmaus staff on their first meeting they got the number 10 as well.

i believe i know what it means now.

i will produce 10 fold the fruit from the seed that has been planted in me.

Emmaus has been planting seeds. and it will receive the harvest and the fruits 10 times from what it has planted.

you reap what you sow

the blessings that you give out you will receive in a portion 10 times greater.

10 the number of perfection. the highest.

because what you receive you give again. you receive more. you give more.

a continuous cycle of giving and receiving.

that's what life is all about.

i remember steven buchamp said in his sermon about 2 weeks ago.

if you understand the parable of the sower. you understand all the others.

at the time i didnt understand. but i prayed that some day i would.

God answers prayers alot sooner than we expect.

let those who have ears hear

played pool with jay today

i hit 1 ball in. yay :D

hit another one in. No way.....this never happens..

Jay: "if you get 3 in a row, i'm taking off my panties"

10 seconds later...

"i guess you have to take off your panties jay :D"

got my hair did and then i went to Severance Hospital.

and somehow i ended up in the cancer treatment center.

On the wall it is written "With the love of God, free humankind from disease and suffering"

When this hospital first started out it understood the spiritual connection with sickness and disease.

Its foundation rested on the love of God. and for that this hospital prospered.

let not it forget its roots.

let not God forget His promises for this hospital.

in a place where there seems to be no hope. there will be hope.

when i returned back to the dorm it was 8:30.

jumped on my bed ahhhhhh :D yessss

3 sec later call from christina lee to playy.

nooooooo but yeahhhhhh i wannaaa but so tired TT.TT

make her and her friend come to sinchon :)

we nrbed and then went to eat fried chicken.

i made my first legit korean friend here!

his name is something i cannot remember so i will call him Choi.

Choi is real chill.

cant believe i'm finally making korean friends right when i'm about to leave korea...

sall good though.

cause the friends i make last for a lifetime.

:D

me and clee at nrb

my first native korean frand Choi

Day 111

i had four dinners today.

75% of the time i ate

and the other 25% i watched people eat.

dinner 1 with cheeia and josh

dinner 2 with jimi

dessert intermission

dinner 3 with cheeia, chad, and chris

dinner 4 with jay

literally i was surrounded by food from 4:00pm until 11:30pm.

what a busy life i have...

my food belly is quite impressive.

got back to my dorm around 12:10 ish.

let me work on my paper.

but first i will lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling for about 10 min.

roomie walks in. oh hello!

what are you doing?

not doing my paper.

roomie leaves to study at the library all night.

this gives me motivation to start my paper.

get on the yonsei portal thing to finally check my professor's feedback for my rough draft.

and then i find out that i was supposed to turn in my final online 30 min ago!

ack!!

i've been learning that life is all about perspective.

now in this situation i can either freak out or remain calm.

i think i'll go with the second option.

ladidadida. chilled around for about 30 more min doing nothing.

okay let's do this. i have to write 600 more words and do all the citations.

checked the comments on my rough draft. all it said was

"very good paper, very good research question"

oooooh what a pleasant surprise :D

my professors at umbc usually write like a bajillion comments of things to fix.

so before i wrote my paper. i sat there and was like hmmmmm.

what is the point of me writing this paper. to just get it over with. or can i really learn something valuable from it.

and what can i teach my professor through writing this paper.

this gives me motivation to write papers.

i finished my paper in less than an hour.

this is how it went.

added 200 words to the actual content of the paper and the conclusion.

and then the next 400 words i wrote a nice note to my professor about what i learned and stuff.

ended it all with this.

It is the teachers that make a difference in this world; they are the ones who can motivate the students’ wills, create new perspectives in their minds, and change their hearts.

i hope it makes him tear up and give me a super A++

especially since i've only went to that class like 3 times this whole semester and done only 1 out of the 10? assignments...

eh hehehe...^^" i think i'm pushing it...but i really do learn even when i'm not paying attention if that makes sense.

even the littlest things that i learn i try to expand it into something greater and make it valuable.

and i think that's what my professor really wanted for us.

not to stress out about cramming our minds with information

or doing assignments because we have to.

but learning something valuable from his class.

no matter how small it seems.

for me when i learned about North Korean Politics and Society, I learned about trust.

Perhaps in some way this nation seeks trust from the other nations that have turned their backs on it and ridiculed it. Perhaps once the other nations show this nation more trust, eventually this nation will slowly begin to trust the other nations. Perhaps the key to peace and friendship between nations, between societies, between people is trust.

~i hope with everyone else in their studying for finals/ paper writing and in their studies in general. that they may not stress about grades but find joy in learning.

Day 110

Today i was walking and feeling very joyful :D

but at the same time i knew that there are going to be a lot more troubles to come.

life with God on this earth is not gunna be all flowers and rainbows

friggin SPIRITUAL WARFARE.

so i gotta be on full alert like wedding peach.

i'm a bride. but not just a foofoo bride. i'm a warrior bride.

there's gunna be times when the lies will get at me.

and try to pull me down.

but i'll keep getting back up.

and i came to a realization that eventually.

those lies wont even have a chance to get at me.

and i'll be flying.

like an eagle soaring above all things.

today is a friday.

and on friday nights there Friday Fire at New Philly.

the enemy today though completely erased this from my mind.

so i forgot. and i was prancing around like lalalala its friday what should i do today.

and then i locked myself out of my room -___-

great. i go downstairs to the lobby to get a spare key.

and in the elevator. i bump into hannah na.

she asks me if i'm going to Friday Fire today.

and i'm like oh snap. i completely forgot about it. thanks for reminding me.

hmmm hmmmmmmmmmm.

i puzzled pieced everything together.

this means that there is gunna be some awesome blessings that i will receive tonight that the enemy did not want me to receive but God was like uh no. i'm not gunna let that happen.

nice God nice.

get to friday fire not really knowing what to expect but excited.

we pray and then split up into groups.

and in our groups we are talking about intimacy. what allows us to get intimate with God.

for me its suffering. i was really like marmarmar about it at first cause i dont really like to suffer...

but really suffering allows me to just put all my hope in God and trust in Him.

and everytime i overcome something it feels awesome ya know :D

then we talked about who was our best friend this year.

and for me it has been chubby cheeks Jay.

said some nice corny things about him. that even made the pastor make fun of me.

not cool man. whatever he's just jealous. i said.

outloud. and then it got real awkward. ehehehe...

but here's where it got real interesting.

in our groups we had to choose 2 people to pray for.

and Pastor Marcus chose me and sarah won.

and the words of prophecy they were saying over me.

was so on point. like i was like whooooaaaa. that's exactly what God has been telling me this past weeks.

I will be a light in darkness.

I will sow seeds in the hearts of people.

more stuff i cant really remember but were really good.

but then the last one really made me laugh.

this girl i think her name is gina. was like for some reason an eagle keeps coming to me.

for you i see an eagle.

oh snappppp. this morning i was just praying that i would be like an eagle.

and then this right here just confirmed it.

and lately small tiny fears have been getting to me.

like what if i return back to maryland and nothing happens. i fall back into my old routine.

but man the words of encouragement they were saying about the breakthrough that will happen when i return home.

BOMB.

felt so encourage and blessed today :D

later went back ate fried chicken of course.

and then went nrbing with the fam friends.

cheeia picks the best songs. like the really old school nice and fluffy feeling kind.

and as we were singing Josh Groban. You Raise Me Up

i was like mmmm this is my song for my Lord.

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;

When troubles come and my heart burdened be;

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,

Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;

Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;

But when you come and I am filled with wonder,

Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

Day 109

Jay tells me my blog is boring

and judy says its lame

cause all i write about now is "God stuff"

haters gunna hate.

sigh...my two best frands TT.TT

why they gotta be like that.

i still love them though<3

chubby cheeks is just jealous that i dont mention him as much as i used to..

today i woke up to go watch him play basketball.

and on the way I went to a funeral of a guy i didnt know.

in the book i'm reading the five people you meet in heaven

it explains why people go to funerals even though they don't know the people that well.

"its because the human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect...we think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole"

i wonder how this guy's death will affect my life..

he was only 22 years old..

"Fairness does not govern life and death. If it did, no good person would ever die young"

sometimes people ask God. why do good people die young.

why do good people go to hell just because they didn't believe in Jesus Christ.

to us it seems so unfair.

but the truth is there is no one good but God.

and because of that we are to be judged by His standards.

but we can never measure up to those standards because of the curse that sin has put on us.

and therefore the only way to meet those standards is through Jesus Christ.

that he be the greatest lawyer for us. that even though we fall short of those standards.

we are able to receive God's grace and mercy through knowing His son.

a friend of His son, is a friend of God.

never forget.

what Jesus has done for you.

Day 108

today was such a day full of joy ~

walkin on a dream :)

slept in and missed my 10am poli class

only to find out later from emma that we dont have class anymore :)

i wouldnt know that last week's class was the last day of class

cause i skipped that one too ^^"

ah...morning classes...

it's that time when people are freaking out about finals.

sometimes it seems almost unfair that i really have nothing to worry about.

but that's what God's grace is. you receive blessings when you don't deserve it.

all burdens/worries lifted off. taken away from you.

lately i've been using my not studying time

to pray for others. mostly for them to do well on finals i guess.

if you are stressed about finals ! do not worry.

education is meant to help you in life not become your life.

i will be praying for peace over my friends and just for assurance in their future.

if you have any other prayer requests.

let me know please :)

and if you want to have study breaks to just chill.

call me :) i love conversing. and having heart to hearts.

and eating! i'll buy you food.

and blessing people while eating.

i pray that in the midst of these next 2 weeks of stressful finals time.

there may be joy. The joy of the Lord is your strength

i shall run around being a bundle of joy. yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

emma gave me a book today.

its called the five people you meet in heaven

heard alot of good things about this book.

so i shall read it now.

havent read a book since junior year of highschool....

let me get on this.

reading is good. yes.

may your weeks be filled with joy~