Day 61

Today was quite a dreary day.

outside is all gloomy and whatnot.

so i'm feelin all down with the weather.

wake up after 4pm.

miss the first half of korean.

get to korean after break.

get the exams back.

mehh i did okay B average.

i'm in a very quiet mood today.

i'm like a little mouse.

i really dont have much energy

maybe its cause im fasting.

"the spirit is willing.

but the flesh is weak"

Go to Good Friday service at Onuri church.

i heard the story of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ so many times.

but today it just hit me.

how much God loves us.

the passage was on the garden of Gethsemane.

when Jesus was asking God that he may not die on the cross

because He could not bear to be separated from Him.

I could just imagine.

Jesus, his son, is in tears begging him to take away this responsibility.

and God saying no to His son.

i'm sorry my son for what I have to put you through.

but its the only way. the only hope for mankind.

for if you do not pay this price.

humanity cannot be saved.

and my daughter Rebekah will never be with me.

and for that I thank Jesus for the cross.

that through his flesh and the blood that was shed.

i may be with the Father.

and have eternal life.

because his spirit is with me.

out of all my days here.

i've never felt so hungry and weak.

but when i am weak then i am strong.

because today i felt the spirit so strongly within me.

and because that i had peace.

i left my group and headed back to the dorms by myself.

apparently everyone was looking for me ^^"

oops.

on the way back i met a girl who looks like a doll!

she is so cute. i think her name is either christy or christine?

but i found out that she goes to jubilee church.

and the pastor who prayed today during the service

is the pastor at jubilee church. and the whole way back i was thinking wow i really like how that pastor prayed. i wonder if i should check out jubilee church.

and then i meet this girl! and she says that she will take me there on sunday.

yay. i'm so excited for sunday to come.

i help gina order mcdonalds back at the dorm

and then i smell the mcdonalds

and all my food instincts are going crazy.

but no! i am fasting so i walk away.

mmm nice..

get back to my room.

today Erick told me that he read the whole book of John in one sitting

so i will try to do that too!

except...i only get to chapter 8 ^^"

ahh yes. i will finish it tomorrow though!

my friend back home richard tires me out even more on skype.

by trying to debate christianity with me.

but it was mostly him talking alot and me falling asleep.

and trying to order a swim suit on the korean forever 21 website.

but failing cause i cant read and understand korean that well.

i understand all of his points.

and they make sense.

honestly though i cannot fight his arguments.

and i dont have the answers to his questions.

i just know that what i know and understand is real.

and I simply put all my hope and trust in God love.

sometimes i wonder why i just believe.

but its just something you know is true.

like how you know in the morning the sun will rise.

i guess its true when they say that God is the one who calls.

i'm grateful that i have been called.

but because i love those around me. and i know the punishment of sin is eternal death.

i wish they would realize the truth as well.

cause i dont want anyone of them to suffer.

to the point where i rather die.

but i cant die for their sins. because i'm not perfect.

only Jesus is and he did.

and its up to them to believe.

i pray that i be a light.

that what i have. others want.

and they may know God's love through me.

and be baptized in the Holy Spirit.

so that they may also live.