Day 100

waited until 4:37am last night

for my mcnuggies to come.

torn between sleeping and eating.

except no one told me that they came an hour ago!

and chad and cheeia ate them TT.TT

the sufferings i must endure in life

its okay i still love them <3

barely woke up today to play with the children

first day volunteering at the children's library

that i mysteriously found while i was treasure hunting.

i basically just have to read books with them.

they are 5 years old and super cute :)

its so interesting how even at that age. they already have such distinct personalities.

watching a 5 year old boss around another 5 year old is just real weird.

mmm imagine the korean mother nagging potential they will have in the future.

at the end i had to read the book My Dad to the whole class.

it was basically about how awesome a dad should be and how much he'll always love his children.

of course of course.

my prayer for these children was very simple.

that they may know how much God loves them. and for them to love Him back.

today it was raining.

and since i know that there is probably someone out there like me who doesnt check the weather and doesnt know what days to carry an umbrella. i decided to carry two umbrellas. just in case someone needed one.

as i was walking to meet jung mi. i saw 4 people without umbrellas and offered them my extra one.

the first said that he didn't need it.

the second wanted one but was too prideful to receive it.

the third had headphones in his ears so he couldn't hear me.

the fourth was walking to fast for me to stop and ask.

recently, cheeia asked me that if God stands for goodness and justice, why does He allow there to be suffering in this world?

it is because God wants to give us His love, His protection from the rain.

but we either feel like we don't need it, our pride gets in the way of admitting it, we cannot understand it, or we are too busy with the things of this world.

when we experience suffering we become so desperate for love that our pride gets stripped away, that in the midst of hopelessness that we seek hope, that when we catch of glimpse of love we are quick to receive it, and we are so thankful for it.

for many people, we cannot know love unless we've experience suffering.

i am one of them. and i would experience it all over again than to live without God's love.

perhaps this is what Paul means to suffer with joy.

because if in the end it means that you are able to receive God's love and love Him more

then let me suffer.

for He comes to the broken-hearted and the needy.

last day of EMMAUS today. oh my oh my.

its been quite an amazing journey.

and now that i've encountered God here on my journey to Emmaus

i'm ready to run back to Jerusalem to share the good news.

Pastor Erin brought it of course.

she is just an amazing speaker and an amazing woman.

that's what you become when you truly are blessed by God.

she talked about commitment.

that you can't get intimate without that commitment first.

yeah i used to be so commitment phobia.

and because of that i wasn't even able to commit to God.

but now i just declare my commitment to God.

and from now on my intimacy with God is just going to grow.

and my love will always burn with passion.

and my relationship with God will overflow to my relationship with others.

what a nice way to live :)

after emmaus ate fried chicken, played pool, then ate some more.

it was still raining and chris and cheeia didnt have an umbrella with them

so i offered them my extra one.

and they received it.

in the beginning of the semester. someone prophesied over Chris that he is one who is able to receive so much love.

and i said the same for cheeia :)

ahh the symbolism i love it.

God works in mysterious ways.