Day 100

waited until 4:37am last night

for my mcnuggies to come.

torn between sleeping and eating.

except no one told me that they came an hour ago!

and chad and cheeia ate them TT.TT

the sufferings i must endure in life

its okay i still love them <3

barely woke up today to play with the children

first day volunteering at the children's library

that i mysteriously found while i was treasure hunting.

i basically just have to read books with them.

they are 5 years old and super cute :)

its so interesting how even at that age. they already have such distinct personalities.

watching a 5 year old boss around another 5 year old is just real weird.

mmm imagine the korean mother nagging potential they will have in the future.

at the end i had to read the book My Dad to the whole class.

it was basically about how awesome a dad should be and how much he'll always love his children.

of course of course.

my prayer for these children was very simple.

that they may know how much God loves them. and for them to love Him back.

today it was raining.

and since i know that there is probably someone out there like me who doesnt check the weather and doesnt know what days to carry an umbrella. i decided to carry two umbrellas. just in case someone needed one.

as i was walking to meet jung mi. i saw 4 people without umbrellas and offered them my extra one.

the first said that he didn't need it.

the second wanted one but was too prideful to receive it.

the third had headphones in his ears so he couldn't hear me.

the fourth was walking to fast for me to stop and ask.

recently, cheeia asked me that if God stands for goodness and justice, why does He allow there to be suffering in this world?

it is because God wants to give us His love, His protection from the rain.

but we either feel like we don't need it, our pride gets in the way of admitting it, we cannot understand it, or we are too busy with the things of this world.

when we experience suffering we become so desperate for love that our pride gets stripped away, that in the midst of hopelessness that we seek hope, that when we catch of glimpse of love we are quick to receive it, and we are so thankful for it.

for many people, we cannot know love unless we've experience suffering.

i am one of them. and i would experience it all over again than to live without God's love.

perhaps this is what Paul means to suffer with joy.

because if in the end it means that you are able to receive God's love and love Him more

then let me suffer.

for He comes to the broken-hearted and the needy.

last day of EMMAUS today. oh my oh my.

its been quite an amazing journey.

and now that i've encountered God here on my journey to Emmaus

i'm ready to run back to Jerusalem to share the good news.

Pastor Erin brought it of course.

she is just an amazing speaker and an amazing woman.

that's what you become when you truly are blessed by God.

she talked about commitment.

that you can't get intimate without that commitment first.

yeah i used to be so commitment phobia.

and because of that i wasn't even able to commit to God.

but now i just declare my commitment to God.

and from now on my intimacy with God is just going to grow.

and my love will always burn with passion.

and my relationship with God will overflow to my relationship with others.

what a nice way to live :)

after emmaus ate fried chicken, played pool, then ate some more.

it was still raining and chris and cheeia didnt have an umbrella with them

so i offered them my extra one.

and they received it.

in the beginning of the semester. someone prophesied over Chris that he is one who is able to receive so much love.

and i said the same for cheeia :)

ahh the symbolism i love it.

God works in mysterious ways.

Day 99

Father, when it seems as though I am stuck

Unsure of what is right and what is wrong

I am reminded of your love

And all I can do when I make mistakes

Is not to succumb to shame

But to love you more

Your love never fails

The more I love you, the more I become like you

And then all the things that I do, will naturally be pleasing to you

Today i had deep life talk with the girls outside on the benches.

in fact basically all my conversations for the past 3 weeks have been somehow about God.

we covered alot of topics, some serious, some hilarious.

one moment we're all pondering in deep thought

the next moment we are a bunch of old ladies laughing like hyenas.

hehe i love them so much <3

but one of things they asked me was

what makes me love God so much.

I love God

because He loved me first.

for so long God has pursued me.

and despite the things that i have done

the ways i have rejected Him and ignored Him

His love never changed.

and now i am realizing what it means to love Him back.

learning more each day

and my life has never been the same.

how do i know that He loves me?

not only from hearing His word. sermons. feeling that peace in my heart.

but from the countless experiences with God in my life.

through His grace i am saved.

from the conversations i've been having with people lately.

i've learned that one of the strongest reasons for unbelief or apathy

is that they have not had an encounter or undeniable experience with God.

it makes sense that you can hear all about something but you can't really believe in it without a personal encounter.

so lately i've been praying for people to have these encounters.

something that is so real and amazing. that it just can't be brushed off as a mere coincidence.

if you feel like you've never had this encounter with God.

or you can't even remember the last time you've experienced His love.

and you want to. let me know. cause i will be more than willing to pray for you.

but more importantly to take that step and to pray yourself. even if you dont feel like you know how to pray.

try :) He's waiting for you to ask.

Ask and you will receive.

Day 98

Nothing can separate

Even if I ran away

Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes

But You have new mercies for me everyday

Your love never fails

You stay the same through the ages

Your love never changes

There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning

And when the oceans rage

I don't have to be afraid

Because I know that You love me

Your love never fails

The wind is strong and the water's deep

But I'm not alone in these open seas

Cause Your love never fails

The chasm is far too wide

I never thought I'd reach the other side

But Your love never fails

You make all things work together for my good

Day 97

woke up today to go on a secret mission.
the game is called mission impossible.

except i never found out about this secret mission
cause for some reason today i wanted to ignore time
and by the time i left the dorms. the secret mission had already started an hour ago.
mmm i guess i'm not going.

so instead i decided to go to namsan tower (my 4th time -__-)
with jay and his friend michelle.
but i kept them also waiting for a long time ^^"
it seems as though time does not exist for me today.

jay's friend michelle is supah cool.
cause we get to ignore jay together when he says really unusual/ narcistic things.
it's like we have that mutual understanding already.
and she also notices guys with really big butts.
like the guy working at the namsan cable car place.
he had quite a donk. i wanted to ask him what he eats.

before namsan we went to the contact place in hongdae
and a quite hilarious situation developed.
there was this chinese girl who didnt know how to speak korean.
and so the chinese girl had to talk to michelle (she's chinese) who then had to translate to me (in english)
and then i had to translate to the people working there (in my broken korean).
it was like retail telephone.
in different languages.
yes. imagine the utter chaos
and then the chinese girl was real cute cause at the end she wanted to take pictures with us.
and then the owners of the store also took our picture to post on the wall.
caption for the photo. funny day
and then they gave us contact solution for free.
if only every contact buying experience was this awesome.

went to namsan to do the whole lock thing.
symbolozing endless love.
for jay's friends Brian and James.
mmm no they are not gay. but just friends who are secretly madly in love but in denial as jay explains.
James even tries to 'cover up' his undying love for Brian by having a girlfriend.
it truly is an inspirational story of true love.
i will write a chinese drama based on it one day.

we recorded the whole ceremony.
it was quite hilarious as well.
Brian and James are not yet aware of this ceremony we had for them.
their reactions are probably going to be more hilarious.

today i got a fb message from Jong Yoon!
half in korean and half in english.
mmm i had to read it like 10 times to understand it.
but it was very touching i think if i read it right.
basically him expressing his gratitude and wanting to be friends.
yay i like making new friends.

God has also led me to meet someone else.
through a clue that He gave to me through Tina.
and i wonder what it is about this person that is also special.
and the things that she may have gone through or the worries she may have for the future.
but i hope that i can show some of God's love for her as well.

love is pretty awesome :)

Day 96

Friday, May 27th

marmarmar

overslept a tad bit today ^^"

i'm on my way to the second half of korean class

when i run into jong eun outside!

so i sit on the bench eating my burger (not chicken burger TT.TT)

gs does not sell chicken burgers anymore... the outrage

me and the manager need to have a legit talk about this.

but anyways i'm sitting on the bench eating this weird burger

and i get to talk more with jong eun.

whose name i find out today is not jong eun but actually jong yoon.

mah b. korean names...

i thought it was just his foot that was broken.

but he told me that it was his entire leg from knee down to his foot.

and he didn't break it. but when he was a little child. his leg became like this from a disease.

and since he was a little child he couldn't walk.

he had gone through two surgeries. used a walker.

and now he can walk without one.

oh my.....

this changes alot of things. i have theories but i cannot explain them right now.

before i thought that he had like fell and hurt his foot or something..

i had no idea it was this big.

yesterday after i ran into again. i asked God why he led this person to me.

what was it about this kid that God loved so much. what about him was special.

i'm learning with evangelism that its not really about a quick prayer or giving out a pamphlet.

but really understanding God's heart for that individual.

and at that moment. the sun came out and it was literally shining on this guy.

its was burning.

and i could understand just the immense amount of suffering that he had gone through since he was only a child. but also just the immense amount of love God had for him.

and how God wanted to heal him, rescue him, and just embrace him.

i looked at him. and everything about this guy was dark.

his features, his clothes, his hair, his eyes, his presence.

but at the same time he had this soft, innocent voice and child-like laughter.

and even just by the way he waited around the benches. it was like he just wanted someone to talk to.

someone to understand.

things began to fall into place and i was beginning to understand more.

and so i asked him about his mom.

and sure enough his mother was a hardcore believer.

i told him that i know without a doubt that his mother prays for him everyday.

and that God has heard his mother's prayers.

to rescue him from darkness.

yeah. someone once told me i analyze too much.

which is why today in korean.

i promised to take the material as is.

and not sit there in class thinking about other things.

but actually pay attention to the material we are learning.

here is my 1st Day Paying Attention Report.

- reading was excellent today, also took notes (everything word for word that stoneface wrote on the board)

- so hard not to doodle/ daydream, but i persevered (thank goodness i only came to second half of class today)

- maybe since i paid attention today i will not fail the reading test and have to sing, do a fashion show, or pay money.

- TT.TT just kidding I still failed. and now i have to sing. A Whole New World.

- i would have sang that song more passionately if i knew the lyrics

afterwards i went to itaewon to do the New Philly outreach.

we praised and did worship on the streets and everyone crowded around us.

some people even took pictures/ video recorded

hehe it was awesome.

and then i partnered with my leader Tina

so we could treasure hunt!

this was her first time treasure hunting and i could tell she was kinda eh about it at first.

but after we kept running into people and talking to them i knew she was having so much fun.

one of her clues was white mask and as soon as we stepped out a woman in a white mask walks by.

this was only the beginning.

before i was super tired. but seeing Tina get so excited and just getting to talk to/ pray for the people God highlighted to us.

my spirits were uplifted.

one of the clues Jessica and I saw was the color lime green.

and on the way back to the dorms. we just saw lime green everywhere.

Everywhere.

like what are the chances that a truck painted entirely in lime green was parked in front of us.

and Jessica was like "God! what are you trying to tell us?"

on the bus ride back. after i saw like 10 lime green cars drive by.

i understood what God was trying to tell us.

The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few

It is time for more Christians to stand up and have a heart for others.

not to go out and merely try to 'sell' christianity. convert as many people as you can.

but to truly just love on others.

get to know them. grow deeper.

to care for the orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

This is religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless.

Day 95

woke up slightly early today

to go watch my fellow rebekah. rebekah na perform!

on my way there. i just felt that i should sit in the forest

and read the word of God.

so i meditated on psalm 63

In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water

and i prayed as rain drops began to fall around me

that God would soak this land with His presence.
and the people of this land would thirst for Him.

oh it was pretty epic.

as i was walking to the place where the performance would be

i ran into MJ. the guy who i talked to last thursday

and he was the one who was once hurt by the church

but i saw last thursday God was just beginning to restore his heart.

and last week my sister Marie wrote down red heart before the treasure hunt

and on tuesday. she got red heart again.

when I saw MJ. i saw that he was wearing a white t-shirt.

and on that white t-shirt. over his heart. there was a red heart.

oh my...

i'm learning each day. just how real God is.

when i got to the place. i tried to look for the room that the performance was to be held.

but i couldnt find it.

i was walking around. and i came across the green bulletin board from the first treasure hunt.
last time there was this map with three thumb tacks on three locations on the map.
i looked at the map again today and two of the thumb tacks were gone and only one remained.
the first thumb tack was over the building that this board is in.

the second thumb tack was over the amphitheater that i prayed at yesterday.

and the last remaining thumb tack was over a building that i did not know.

so i decided that i would find this building.
on my way there. i stopped by at the ancient looking place again.

and there were all these monks from Thailand.

hehe they were real cute. and they were all smiling at me.

so i was talking to them and the tour guide was translating for me.

as i was leaving to go find this building. the tour guide chased me down, gave me his card, and asked if i wanted a job as a tour guide.

i took the card to be polite cause i'm leaving in a month so there's really no point in me working now. but maybe someone else might be interested.

and then he asked me for my name. since he's korean i decided to give him my korean name.

Eunjie.

eventually i found the building and discovered that it was a child development research center.

hmmm interesting. i wonder why God sent me here.

so i walked around and this woman walked by me.

she stopped suddenly, turned around, and asked me if i needed help with anything.

i told her in korean i'm not sure.

she asked me if i was a student and i said yeah i'm a foreign student.

and then she started talking to me in english. whew

she asked me again what i was doing here and how i found out about this place.

and honestly it sounded so weird me saying this. but i was just like mmm i just felt that i should be here.

but then immediately it was like something clicked for her and she asked me if i wanted to volunteer at this center.

so i was like sure! i love kids.

God works in mysterious ways.

my childhood friend michael is here in korea!!

this is a legitimate reason to skip class.

on my way to meet up michael at the subway station

i walk by the benches in front of the dorms and i see jong eun.

the guy that i prayed for healing over his foot last thursday.

i was really excited to see him and so i ran over.

and his face was just so happy. (imagine this big ol' smile on this super emo, dark, skinny looking type deal guy)
he said that today he knew that he would see me.

and i was like oh really? haha. how did you know
he told me that he's been waiting here because around this time last week he had an encounter with God through me.
and he didn't even know my name or who i was but after i left he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. and ever since then he's been hoping to run into me again.
and he stopped going to church a long time ago. but now he wants to start going.

oh my..wow.
i was so happy when he said those things. and i told him that i after i left last week to go to class i prayed that i would run into him again too.

and i said jong eun shi. it makes me really happy to hear you say those things. truly God loves you for he would not have sent me to talk to you if he didnt.

and i told him that it is wonderful that he is thinking about going back to church. but i did not talk to him just to tell him to go to church. that the thing that God wants the most from him is just for him to embrace His love. 
those who know of His love. will not need anyone to tell them what to do. but they will seek God themselves.

he told me his foot has gotten much better since last week.

and i was like that's awesome. continue to believe that God is one who fully restores.

i prayed for his foot again. and i told him that if he has faith that he will be able to jump with joy and praise God.

and i as i walked away he said wait, what is your name.

since he's korean and it seems like i've been giving out my korean name today.

i said my name is Eunjie.

Eunjie means God's grace is known.

mmm by the time i met up with michael i was just ready to overwhelm him with love.

tehehehehe. ah michael and i had some good talks.

yeah michael just spend your time here in korea to soak and grow in intimacy.

because once you are intimate with God. nothing can keep you down.

let me tell you something interesting about michael.

he used to eat cereal with orange juice.

yeah. he's a special kid.

tonight we had joint familias meeting

on courtship and dating.ooh lala

yeah. i'm going to start loving right.

haha i said this two summers ago actually. and it didn't quite work out.

as a result ended up in a lot of me getting hurt and hurting others as well.

but yes!! i know this time. its legit.

for i have a new heart. 

afterwards we watched kung fu panda 2 !!!!!!

oh em gee. i love this movie so so much.

it was so cute and hilarious. totally my style right there.

especially the chubby baby panda scenes like i was gunna hyperventilate and go to heaven right there in the move theater seats.

go watch it.

i found out who i am.

i'm your son

man that scene when po and his goose dad are all hugging at the end really got me. teary eyes*.

at the same time i was like wsup Dad. i know i've strayed away for a long time but i finally realized who i am.

and now that i'm set in that identity.

my life can begin.

Day 94

i couldnt wake up to go to the first half of poli

but at least i made it to the second half.
i'm improving!

when i came, the group was presenting about kim jong un.

son and successor of kim jong il.

mmmm regime changes. creates vulnerability.

this is the opportunity that we must wait for.

in praying for revolutions of freedom in NK during that transition period.

i realize that when relating your studies to God's plans

it becomes alot more interesting.

i tried calling cheeia for lunch. but my phone couldnt make any outgoing calls!

so i had to walk to the phone place on campus.

as i was walking. i just started exploring places around Yonsei.

and ended up seeing this word written on statues around campus. gong myeong

looked it up on my phone dictionary and its possible meanings were resonance, sympathy, and unison.

hmm hmmmm.

eventually i ended up at the amphitheater.

now this place is huge. and somehow all the people that were sitting in the seats were leaving as i walked in.

and i was standing at the bottom, looking up at all the empty rows of seats, the trees around it, the sky.

and was just like whoa..

on the floor in front of the stage. there is this giant circle. and for some reason i felt like i should stand in the center of the circle. and as i stood in the center of the circle, i began to pray. but then i stopped cause i realized that my voice was echoing like crazy all around the theater.

i walked around and tested this. and eventually i discovered that my voice only was amplified when i stood in that specific location.

gong myeong meaning resonance meaning intensification of a sound.

ooh lala.

i looked around at the stone seats. and i noticed all the names written on the stones.

names of the students that have been here in Yonsei.

and it reminded me of all the names that were listed in the book of Nehemiah.

what i also found intriguing was that some of the stones were highlighted.

alot of thoughts came to mind about this place. and the potential it had.

so i just stood still at the center and started to pray over this place.

and my prayers were amplified.

walked around some more and i ended up in front of the statue of H.G Underwood.

the missionary who founded this school.

below his statue these words were written.

Messenger of God

Follower of Christ

Friend of Korea

I told Mr. Underwood that God remembers his prayers for this land.

and that i will continue his work here.

in topics class later that afternoon

i actually paid attention for once in my life.

and today grandma talked about korean people's jeong

the warm affection within us.

and the unity and strong bond between the korean people.

that bond is the key.

in the midst of the suffering that is to come in this world.

this nation will not be broken. it will hold fast and persevere.

korean class i tried to pay attention too.

but yeah no.....

erick and i had to pay the teacher money for not paying attention.

it was either that or sing.

man...this should be so illegal..

dinner.nap. plan for our trip to busan :)

and then! chris, cheeia, and i had like a 3 hour conversation outside on the benches.

about very deep stuff relating to life and God.

it was super interesting.

one of the topics that came up was fear.

and this is something that i recently realized.

but i was telling cheeia about how our fears actually uncover our strengths.

basically how our weaknesses are actually our strengths.

the enemy knows what our strengths are but in order to keep us from using our strengths and to keep us away from God. it creates that fear in us.

so if you have a fear of heights --> trying to keep you away from being able to see things on a higher level.

fear of the dark --> trying to keep you away from being a light, shining in the darkness

fear of commitment ---> trying to keep you away from commitment with God, keep you away from knowing and experiencing love

fear of public speaking --> trying to keep you away from preaching the gospel, sharing knowledge of the truth

fear of people/socializing/rejection --> trying to keep you away from evangelizing to others

fear of being chased --> trying to keep you away from confronting the enemy

but it is actually the things that you fear the most

that has the potential to be your greatest strengths.

Perfect love casts out all fear.

Therefore, I no longer fear evil.

But delight in the truth

Day 93

its never a good idea to "rest" on your bed while waiting on your laundry to be finished.

cause there is a slight possibility that you'll fall asleep

and wake up the next morning all confused.

and realize that your laundry is still in the dryer.

yes that is what happened to me today at 9 am

ran down got my laundry, dumped it on my bed.

got ready as fast as my early morning pace would let me

and went to go meet andy, jessica, and marie for the treasure hunt.

man everytime i go on these treasure hunts

i learn so much in the most unexpected ways

today we went around and prayed for various locations in Yonsei

and we found this cool, ancient looking place.

with statues and stuff and this little building.

that had artifacts and information about how the missionaries came and started this place.

with Severance Hospital.

and through that God just took us back to the roots of this land.

And He began to reveal to us His promises for it.

mind blowing revelations.

Andy felt that God was telling us to read the book of Nehemiah, so we studied that entire book.

and basically wow. this book is like the manual for our callings here at Yonsei.

as believers, we are to pray for the people here and intercede for them.

to rebuild the works and prayers that the missionaries long ago had started.

to build a spiritual wall around this place in order to protect it from the lies of the enemy.

that has left this place in spiritual ruins.

the enemy knows we are rebuilding this land and will conspire to attack us by creating confusion.

But God will protect us and bring their plot to nothing.

some of us will work on construction while others will keep watch with weapons. and some will be able to do both.

the construction is the rebuilding through prayers and evangelism.

while the weapon is the word of God. that will strengthen us with truths and allow us to distinguish the lies.

right before this wall is almost complete. the enemy will ruthlessly attack us.

but the victory has already been claimed. and our God will fight for us.

once this land has been restored and prepared. the people will return their hearts to God.

the captives will be set free.

but only those who find their identity in God can dwell in this land.

leaders will be appointed in order to help the people understand the Law.

and the people will worship the Lord and understand the Law.

there will be a period of rejoicing and receiving.

and then they will confess their sins and the sins of the people before them.

they will confess how they acted proudly and lacked trust in the Lord.

God's grace is abundant and He is ready to forgive them.

to keep His promises for this land and its people.

He will seal them with His love and they will keep His statutes.
They will seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and put Him before everything in their lives.

And they will rejoice gladly in His name.

Because of this there will be cleansing and reformation over this land.

God will set them apart and continue to keep them holy.
And those who work with God for all these things to come.

The nations will be given to us.

And the Lord will remember our names.

mmm. yes what an interesting way to start the day.

feel like a real princess warrior now. like mulan.

i will continue to fight for this land.

and the salvation and restoration of my people.

afterwards went to korean class like an excellent student

except i didnt really behave like an excellent student in class

but sall good though the teacher loves me

today we arm wrestled and i crushed her.

yay :D

EMMAUS was enlightening as usual.

before when we sang praise i would be real unenthusiastic about it.

but now i praise with so much joy. hehehe.

today matt preached about claiming our new identities.

especially when we go back home. our family/ close friends may reject us

and think we've gone mad.

but all i can do is not be shaken by anything. and hope that they will accept me for who i am.

this is who i am.

a child of the living God.

and nothing in the world can take that away from me.

afterwards ate OK Pizza. yeah that's literally the name of the pizza place we ordered from. pwahaha koreans are so funny.

and then played mafia with the fam friends.

i was the narrator for most of the games and it was just so interesting/funny watching how everyone thought and operated.

of course i had to analyze this and connect it with something deeper.

mafia seems like a twisted mind game that focuses on lying.

but in reality its about finding the truth.

only the narrator, mafia, and possibly the detective can know the truth for sure.

the narrator sees all things.

the mafia knows who he is, but instead of confessing that he is mafia, he seeks to destroy others and preserve His legacy through lies.

the detective must rely on the narrator in order to find the truth and save the town people.

but he cannot reveal his identity or the mafia will attack him. on the other hand the nurse will not know to save him unless he does reveal his identity.

and sometimes the mafia comes as a wolf in sheep's clothing. claiming that he knows the truth (detective) or that he is the one who heals (nurse).

creating further confusion among the townspeople.

hehe. do you see where i am going with this.

by the end of the game the truth is revealed.

but what makes the game fun is whether or not you realized that truth before it was too late.

for those who find the truth will be saved from death.

but those who are deceived by the lies will be destroyed.

my prayer for the people in this world. is that they continue to seek the truth.

for when they know the truth.

the truth will set them free.

***this is a side note. i wrote this entire post. only to have it be suddenly erased.

and i had to rewrite everything. it's 4:21am and i want to sleep.

in addition. the letter W on my keyboard got stuck. so i had extra difficulty.

but the joy of the Lord is my strength

the letter W was in the list of clues that Jessica wrote this morning for the treasure hunt.

that verse comes from the book of Nehemiah.

Day 92

woke up around 9 today.

to this man coming into my room and asking me if i called to have my ac vent fixed.

i was like marmarmar. rolled over and went back to sleep.

today it was real sunny and nice outside but there was a tiny cloud over my head.

following me.

i was having an epic battle with it.

there has been a slight speed bump in my life lately.

but its nothing that i cant handle with God you know.

so during topics class i began to write out my thoughts.

I can try to understand this with my own logic. try to figure things out myself and make a decision.

But instead I will trust in the Lord with all my heart.
He knows what I want, what I asked for and nowadays I'm learning more about myself that I am able to ask these things with full confidence and without fear in my heart.

I trust that whatever I ask according to His will and out of my love for Him, He will give me.
That He has no plans to harm me.

And even through my mistakes He will make me stronger.
I have nothing to lose, only to gain. in everything that I do.

You become what you believe and the truth is what you believe.

I believe that I am an amazing daughter of the living God who loves me and favors me.

I believe that I am not one who gives up but perseveres through anything with the strength of my Father.

I am one who understands His heart and does not fear evil.

Therefore, I am able to distinguish even the most cleverly crafted lies from the truth.

Therefore, I have a continual flow of renewed peace

confusion and doubt flees from me.

God has placed me on a rock and I will not be moved, not even by the strongest tides.
The enemy cannot snatch the seeds of truth that are buried deep within me.

And my gardener, the Lord, continues to cut off the thorns that try to choke me.

I will continue to grow and bear fruit for as long as the Spirit lives in me.

that tiny cloud is putting up a furious fight now.

but victory has already been claimed.

it followed me to korean class.

and even as i was eating the grilled cheese sandwich that marie made me :D

and even as i was praying in her room and drawing on her windows with washable markers.

yeah but as more sisters came into her room.

and we began our prayer night.

and we began to pray for the things that God has placed on our hearts.

the tiny cloud began to vanish.

and by the time we finished praying it was barely there.

we think we're done praying. but jessica asks if we can pray healing over her heal.

hehe sounds funny. but yeah her heal has been hurting.

and lately i've been asking God for full out confidence in the gift of healing.

so i was like yes let's practice!!

so we prayed for her. and then she moved around her foot said it got a little better.

so then we were like let's pray again!

and then she moved around her foot and she said it got much better.

and then anna was like get up and walk and claim that!

so jessica got up and walked. and she was yeah it's almost completely healed.

and i was like jump with joy that the Lord healed you!

and so she was jumping up and down and she was like wow! the pain is completely gone.

and we were like yayyy! that's awesome!!

the tiny cloud that's been bugging me also completely vanished. 

double victory! praise God.

i stayed with marie and prayed with her a little longer

hehe God had something very encouraging to say to her ;]

i'm glad i was able to say it to her and see the joy on her face.

afterwards i went down to the atm cause my money finally transferred

and God continued to just amaze me in other ways

but that's a story that is not yet finished.

tomorrow morning is the treasure hunt.

and we just may go to Severence Hospital

yeah. hehehehehehe. perhaps jessica's healing was just warm up.

we'll see what the Lord has in store for us.

trust in the Lord with all your heart.

Day 91

alot of things happened today

but i just feel like i need to keep it short and simple :)

life happens. but its so much easier when you got awesome people to just encourage you and be there for you.

thank you God so much. just for the support you've given me. i truly am blessed.

And so my heart sings praise to you.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding

For he has plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future

This is why I have hope to wake up each morning.

And live.

Day 90

this past week i've gotten the least amount of sleep ever

since high school.

but i have no regrets.

i've never felt so more alive.

woke up today at 7am to the sound of my roomie's phone alarm.

except she's not here...

her phone screen broke so i guess she left her phone here.

but yeah it went off every 2 min and i didnt know what to do with it!!

tried pushing all these buttons but couldnt turn it off.

so i put the phone in our fridge.

yeah... i can still hear it.

took the phone out of the fridge, poked it some more, and was like God help me please!!

make my brain more compatible with technology.

and He was like..Rebekah just take out the battery...

oohhhhh ^^" hahahahha...yeah...duh...

clawed that battery out and went back to sleep :]

the spirit pushed me to wake up again 3 hours later.

so i could go to costco with jessica and katherine

today we are getting food ideas for the EMMAUS banquet.

mmmm my love for you God is stronger than my love for sleep.

spending hours at costco is fun and exhausting.

first 30 min we were just running around like ooh oooh i want this and oooh this too!!

at one point we just stared at this huge bag of sugar and was cracking up

cause this bag of sugar was the size of katherine no joke.

like what kind of family eats that much sugar.

then we were like oh..wait a min. asians are like that with rice.

yeah the EMMAUS banquet is gunna have a lot of food.

let's just get blasted by the food that will nourish our bodies

God made food delicious for us.

afterwards we went to go meet the rest of the girls at quiznos!

time of just eating and encouragement.

best combo yes.

and then whee whee off to itaewon site for more IHOP prayer.

man they brought the fire down in that house.

people were just manifesting in the spirit.

but you know its not that manifestation that should be the focus.

but that divine encounter with God. that will lead you to His love.

i was just chilling in God's presence, looking around, and He revealed something so so awesome to me.

while i was praying i was like Father, i want to be a part of all this.

i want to be a part of your work.

i got an image of a little girl running to her dad as he left for work. and her saying, "daddy don't leave, take me with you. I want to go to work with you"

And God was telling me. Rebekah you're ready. you are going to work side by side with me.

it just blew my mind. especially the side by side part. i'm not working under His authority but with Him. for a servant does not know his master's business. but a friend does.

i was holding His hand going off to work with Him. to find others who will work with us.

we're raising an army.

so that His kingdom may be on earth as it is in heaven.

hallelujah.

on the way back i got a chance to walk back with sue mie.

man it was just so encouraging to talk to her.

i feel that unity with the brothers and sisters.

so that when i'm speaking life and truth to her.

its like God speaking those same words to me.

so i'm saying to sue mie, "you are a warrior princess!"

and at the same time God's like yeah, you're a warrior princess too Rebekah!

when i said to sue mie, yeah God's going to equip you to bring back revival on your campus.

He said that to me. (UMBC better watch out!!)

and when i said sue mie your family is going to notice the change in you and want that. and God will restore your family.

yeah He said that to me too!

DOUBLE PORTIONS DOUBLE BLESSINGS!!!

i came back to my room and thought that God was done amazing me for the day.

but nah..haha He never ceases to amaze me.

there is this guy here. who i believe God just picked out from the crowd.

cause yeah God's been highlighting him to me ever since the first day of the treasure hunt like 2 months ago.

now i forgot about it for awhile but at this second treasure hunt. i wrote his name down on the list of clues.

recently i felt the need to randomly add him on fb. even though i never talked to him.

yeah i'm totally against things like that but God was just like trust me Rebekah.

and i was like okayy God better not make me look like a fool.

which He wont.

cause when i got back. i found a very encouraging wall post that he left me.

saying that he is reading my blog :D from day 1.

hahaha i hope that by the time he catches up to this day. God would just have blasted Him.

cause yeah this guy is so full of life and joy. it's like fire. and it'll spread like fire.

God has amazing things in store for you my friend. believe it.

no coincidence. if you wanna see the paper with your name on it. come find me.

there are two more names that i wrote down. separate from the rest of the clues.

and i underlined them. oooh its gunna be good :D

now i just wait to see God move again.

and let me tell you the truth. He never disappoints.

Day 89

wow... woowww

today was just wow...

woke up bright and early to eat lunch with erick

but he was still sleeping when i called him so i let him sleep.

sall gooodddd.

rest erick rest. cause you gunna get blasted with His love tomorrow!!!

just spent that time instead with God

and then walked to Holly's cafe with Anna to help the student leaders with the EMMAUS banquet.

my job is to go pick out food tomorrow! yay. food job. my destiny.

the rain poured down last night.

with the sound of thunder.

man the sound of the rain and thunder was so comforting to me.

it was like God saying i am near.

the rain continued to fall today.

His fire will rain down today.

i'm so excited cause IHOP (international house of prayer)

is coming to new philly tonight!!!!!!

its gunna be so bomb.

went to korean class blahblabhlbah.

dont remember what i did.

i think i got married to ann?

yeah. and for our wedding food we're having chicken and shrimp.

i shot kuni a couple times with my symbolic gun.

yeah puing puing. when i shoot you that's the Holy Spirit.

some people need to be blasted with a bazooka though.

right after class went to New Philly for Fri Fire.

man we gotta pray for America right now. with the news going on.

don't mess with the chosen land. or that nation will face God's wrath.

our nation's leaders need covering and protection.

the Pastor that came. i forgot his name ^^"

spoke about how we need to put Jesus number one!

and how we need to claim that we are God's favorite.

yes yes lately God has just been doing so many amazing things in my life that i'm just getting so caught up with the fruit. but i must never lose sight of why.

the love for my Father is first and above all things.

then we prayed. and yeah....hahahahahaha. i understand why everyone was like its gunna be amazing.

its called House of Prayer for a reason.

man that was some divine praying.

and as i was praying for others i could just completely feel God's heart for them.

for some people i was crying with joy. others i was laughing. shouting. or just wanted to embrace them.

and then this is why God told me I was His favorite child.

Rebekah you understand my heart.

and what makes me happy, also makes you happy

heheheehheheehe. yeah....

afterwards we went to go eat fried chicken :D

it was awesome fellowship time.

wow... God is just doing something awesome with the EMMAUS students. no joke.

by the end of this IHOP weekend. we are all gunna be changed.

i never thought i could experience any more.

but yeah..

GOD NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME!!!!!!

then we got waffles :]

and as i walked back i just got a chance to talk to Yuri.

hehehehehe. God was just speaking to her through me.

very specific things.

and Yuri was getting so excited.

this semester she will learn to receive God's love.

and next semester God is just gunna equip her like BAM.

so when she returns to Japan. its gunna be crazy!!!

my heart has always gone out to Japan.

and i now realize that was God's heart of course.

because the Japanese people are humble.

korean people act like they are humble but really we are so proud.

that can actually be a good thing but in many ways it hinders our relationship with God.

but yeah God loves the humble people.

i head back to my room thinking the night is over.

when i spot Chihiro about to enter her room a few doors down.

now Chihiro has been suffering from this chronic cough.

and i've just been telling her "oh i hope you get better".

normally i would just go into my room or something. but God told me to walk to her.

as i came closer and closer, her cough started to get worse.

until i was right in front of her and she was like full out coughing with tears.

so i knew. that the enemy was afraid.

i commanded it to stop and it stopped.

she kind of just gave me this surprised look.

and then few moments later it would come back.

this went on for about another min.

to the point she was begging it to stop.

finally i was just like chihiro i'm going to full out just pray healing over you.

so i let the spirit speak over her. and then i knew she was completely healed.

her english is not that good but she knows some words in korean.

she just looked at me stunned and was like "amazing/ so interesting, it's gone, i feel so much better"

she was just so amazed. and honestly i was kinda like ooh ooh no way it actually worked! but i tried to keep cool.

and she was just like "thank you Rebekah, thank you so much"

and i told her "no don't thank me, thank God".

she just looked at the ceiling and was like "thank you God! thank you so much"

this made me so joyful. i was laughing so hard. man she's so cute. and i told her "hahahaaha Chihiro! God loves you so much!"

and she looked at the ceiling again, pointed and said "I love you too God!"

i went back to my room and just praised God.

it was the first time in which i got to see the actual fruit from a healing prayer.

a gift that i asked for many years ago.

hahaha and just the humble heart of Chihiro. her face. the way she gave immediate thanks and praise to God.

man it was the best thing in the world.

God is going to restore Japan.

not only Japan but Korea.

and not only Korea but China.

He is going to form a strong bond between these three nations.

To raise an army, that will restore the rest of the world.

this following week. God tells me it's going to be a week of DIVINE ENCOUNTERS.

it's going to look like the book of Acts on campus.

Jesus has once said that no miracles will be given to this perverse generation.

but God has now heard the cries of the saints.

and now once again the Holy Spirit will manifest itself in the believers

and they will show great signs and wonders in order for revival to take place.

but remember this always. signs and wonders are nothing without God's love.

and the salvation and restoration that comes only from the blood of JESUS.

so this i prayed to my Father.

for they will see the works that I do through Your spirit and want to glorify me

but may they not glorify me but glorify You

may i not seek to be glorified by man but seek for man to glorify You

and may i only receive glory from You

for when You glorify me.

I will be glorified to the highest.

"If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies me"

Day 88

i woke up randomly at 6:00am

and found a girl curled up on the floor next to my bed sleeping.

now this kind of thing would normally freak me out.

but i was really tired and prolly thought i was dreaming.

so i put my blanket over her and went back to sleep.

At 9:00am i was awoken by the girl leaving my room.

i said bye to her even though i did not know who she was.

i think she's my roomie's friend...

whatever man life is just full of surprises and weird events sometimes..

lately the way God's been moving in my life.

i've come to just accept anything that happens.

at 11:00am i went to go meet this korean Yonsei student MJ.

i met him through cheeia and i found out that he also plays guitar.

so i was like lets play!

he taught me some stuff with classical guitars.

hooo man!!! when i go back i'm def buying a classical guitar and getting lessons.

sounds so beautiful.

anyways after guitar lessons somehow MJ starts asking me about christianity.

now at this point i'm not even really surprised anymore that all my conversations are about God.

He's not fluent in English but we end up having a really deep conversation.

i learned that he has been really hurt by the church he used to attend and therefore stopped going because he felt ashamed and judged by them for his lifestyle.

man those stories make me really sad...

i've been realizing more and more how the enemy uses any lies to tear you away from the love of God.

even through the church.

but we must learn to block out these lies and cling onto the Truth.

that is God's love for us is unconditional. and once we realize that no one needs to force us or tell us what to do or how to act. we will seek Him ourselves.

MJ told me something very encouraging. basically what everyone else has said. that they now have many things to think about. and also that he listened and wanted to talk to me about christianity even though in the past he hated religious conversations because he saw that what i was saying was the truth. that it was something i believed in with my whole heart.

wow.....God has really really changed me.

the Truth is what you believe. and the more you believe in it the more you become.

He also told me something very interesting about the strong community tie of korean culture and the lack of individuality. this gives me something very specific to pray about in the revival of Yonsei and its key role in the restoration of this nation.

i came back to the dorms and just sat outside on this bench.

praising God for all that He has done and the restoration He will bring in MJ's life.

afterwards i decided to take out the list of clues from the treasure hunt to just look at them again.

on one of the lists one of my sisters Jisoo drew a picture of shoes and Rona pointed an arrow to it and wrote healing. when i first learned that the picture and words meant healing for someone's foot 2 days ago. the spirit in me actually jumped and i got real bouncy. now i understand why.

as soon as i pulled out this list. i kid you not. a guy came limping over to me and sat right next to me on the bench.

now i was holding this list. looking at the picture. looking at his shoes which looked exactly the shoes in the picture. down to the details of the laces. and i was like hooooo my gawdd. if this isn't a sign from God i dont know what is.

ok ok ok i know what i gotta do. so i tried to talk to this guy and ask him about his foot but i find out that he doesnt speak english

now he looks straight up chinese so i was like God!!! i cant speak chinese how am i supposed to do this.

while he's smoking his cig i'm sitting there praying. and God was telling me Rebekah chill. let me do all the work. let my spirit guide you. just trust in me.

i felt this peace over me and i opened my eyes and looked down to see a textbook besides him. a korean textbook. so i was like hmm if he can read a textbook in korean he must know korean.

so i started speaking to him in korean and asked him if he knew korean. and he was like umm yeah...i am korean.

oh...no way cause you look so chinese.

i just started to ask him about his foot and what happened. he said he broke it or something and at first he couldn't even walk for awhile but now he can with this special shoe that was designed for him.

now here's the funny thing. i completely suck at korean. but the whole time my lack of korean speaking skills did not hinder my conversation with him. in fact he said he was confused when i said i was from the US because my accent's so good.

for those of you who have ever heard me speak in korean. be amazed right now by God.

eventually i showed him the list and told him why i keep creepin on him like this. we both examined the picture and then his shoes and then at the whole situation and we were like yeahhh this cant be just a coincidence.

i asked him if he believed that there was a God who loved Him. and he was like uh....i'm not really sure. like he went to church sometimes but that was about it.

yeahh....his attitude is about to change real soon...

I asked him if  i could pray for his leg/foot. and he was like sure. so i just prayed for healing over his injury. and even though he did not understand what i was saying because i was praying in English. I think he was moved by the compassion the spirit had for Him. I have never met him before yet i prayed so earnestly for him to be healed from his injury.

After i was done praying. i told him that he must have faith that God has healed him.

and that God is not a God that restores partially but one who fully heals and fully restores.
I did not get to see him walk away that day. but i know that when he got up from that bench there was something different that he could not explain.

i left him on the bench and walked away so he could think i was like a totally mysterious angel type deal and I put my trust in God that He would take care of him.

His name is Jong-eun i believe. i had to ask him like 10 times cause i kept forgetting.

but i prayed to God afterwards that I would see Jong-eun again.

and that the next time i saw him. he would not be limping.

these two encounters today showed me that God is going to use me to heal people in two ways.

emotional restoration (deliverance from all the shame/ lies) . and physical restoration (to make His creations whole and heal them from pain).

so of course the rest of my day was pretty awesome.

erick and i had alot to share with each other during our classes.

man God is just moving in his life as well.

we got ESPN yo!
cause i was talking to erick and thinking about God i wasnt really paying attention to the NK documentary we were watching.
but yeah i caught a few things and realized that we have alot more to learn about NK and its people if we wanna fight for reunification. in all things we must keep an open mind and not rest until we find the truth.

went to familia after korean and man i love my sisters so much.

we are all so cute and encouraging to each other.

after familia. had game night with the jeju crew!!

ahhh i love it. we are so adorable.

ordering mcdonalds and playing taboo like a family on a thurs night.

it was a lot of fun. my team the snorlax team (me, chris, chad, gina) crushed epic fail team ( emma, cheeia, hongsuk, and jay (who was not there).

my taboo team always wins!!!!! >:]

we have a rematch next week. maybe they'll do better with jay.

i miss you my buddy. its great that your super mysterious and all but we wanna see your smiling face. thanks for the socks. me, cheeia, emma, and gina got to prance around in them and take pictures of the socks camel toes from wearing socks with flip flops.

yeahh...it was real cute.

God is good.

All the time.

:D

Day 87

teheheehe i planned to go to my morning poli class.

but yeah....that didnt really work out so well.

so funny cause my roomie has class at 10am too.

and both of our alarms went off at 9am.

we expertly pressed the snooze button.

my alarm would go off again. and then hers.

slept, snooze, slept, snooze.

until we finally just canceled our alarms.

woke up for topics class and then went to film.

in film we watched a documentary about North Korean spies.

it was quite interesting in a subtle way.

presented North Korea in a different light.

hmm hmmm we're gunna finishing watching it tomorrow i'll explain more later.

one thing i noticed today is that my image is changing.

that now that people know i love God.

the things they say and ask me are different.

and my relationships with people have been changing as well.

its very true when they say that your relationships with others reflect your relationship with God.

after korean i ran into one of my sisters from my familia.

I'm glad i did cause Tina specifically told me to spend time with her and i wanted to hang out with her anyways cause she's so cute :)

i bought her dinner and we just ended up talking for about 2 hours.

she was just telling me about the struggles she's been going through lately and i was able to pray over her and speak life into her. it was a very encouraging and blessing time.
As we were walking back she told me she's been asking God for just someone to talk to and that I was her angel.

I got really excited as soon as I heard that and I showed her Rona's list of clues from the treasure hunt yesterday cause on it she wrote "Rebekah will be someone's angel".

We were just really amazed and happy by it. man God is so good.

Lately i've been having some deep conversations with people.

and at the end they usually tell me that I have given them a lot to think about.

hehe i like making people think.

hopefully all my conversations with people no matter how short or long will be meaningful.

went back to my room praised God, prayed for people, and listened to a sermon by Pastor Marcus.

He talked about how often times we are hindered from receiving God's love because of the shame we carry.

but in God's eyes no matter what we've done in the past, we are worthy of receiving God's love because His son paid that price for us.

do not focus on yourself and your mistakes. but look to your Father. for He is a Father that is good and His love for you is tremendous.

thank Him for the cross. for because of the cross we are pure and holy in His eyes.

God has also convicted me today to clean my room.

cause it is so cluttered and chaotic in here.

now. if you even had the slightest doubt of whether or not i am changed person.

here is the ultimate proof.

the day has come when Rebekah So cleans her room without anyone forcing her too. Hallelujah!

my mother would be so proud...

wow..it is already time to sleep.

i'm not really sure what i did with my time before.

i used to spend so much time just watching shows and movies.

or eating..

my days used to be so pointless.

but now its like i'm living everyday to the fullest.

time really flies when your having fun.

oh yeah my friend Cheeia is still sick (mostly coughing).

please continue to pray healing over her.

and also for me as well. i'm feeling real queasy

should not have drank that mango yogurt smoothie thing...

Day 86

Woke up bright and early today so i can go on the treasure hunt!

so treasure hunt is basically a fun way of evangelizing where you first listen to clues that God gives you, write them down, and then search for it.

so for example if i see an orange dress. i write down orange dress, and then when i see someone wearing an orange dress i just talk to her.

today we expected like crazy things to happen. like healing and miracles

but haha i think God was like chill. today i will show you that you are my treasures.

i went with Rona and Marie. and basically we realized that our clues described each other.

so we spent some time just praying for each other and blessing one another.

and the stuff we were saying were so on point. man really that's what happens when you have the same spirit leading you.

today was a time of intimacy and waiting.

and you know what happens when you wait.

double portions.

i believe that our next treasure hunt is gunna be just that.

divine encounters.

after Rona left. she is just so awesome btw.

she gave me all the lists with the clues on them.

i just continued to stay outside and spend time with God.

and i ended up actually meeting people/ seeing things that were on the lists.

hehehehehe.

somehow God also led me to find my friend James.

and we ended up just talking for awhile

God just really blessed me during that time and hopefully i was able to encourage James.

I'm just all like remember who you are. in a mufasa voice.

he told me that he wanted to be "a voice for the voiceless"

mmmm...that's real interesting.

yeah man. the name James Young Kim. will be remembered.

basked in the sun some more.

somehow i'm still as pale as edward cullen.

but yeah maybe that's a good thing. all white and shiny.

i'm literally a light.

went to korean and fell asleep.

nowadays if i'm not talking to someone about God, spending time with Him, praying to Him, praising Him, or hearing His word. i fall asleep.

so strange. i barely got any sleep these past few days. but when it just comes to anything related to God i'm suddenly very very awake.

and anything else just makes me really bored.

man i've come a long long way..

chilled outside in the beautiful weather with my buddy erick

and then we went to EMMAUS.

i told erick that i consider him as my twin brother.

except i'm the older twin cause i'm wiser :P

hehe. jk. but maybe not really.

yeah...cause a real wise person wouldnt say that.

erick kim. i hope that you will surpass me in wisdom.

today at EMMAUS andy randomly popped up next to me during worship

and asked me to give a testimony about the treasure hunt before the guest speaker began to preach.

now usually this kind of thing would freak me out. especially since i didnt have anything prepared.

but you know nowadays i'm breaking off that fear of speaking. so i went up told them the good stuff.

and yeah honestly it was alot of fun.

pastor eddie from onnuri church was the guest speaker for today.

and he brought it. talked about human trafficking.

man that's some disgusting stuff.

but you know what's even more disgusting. APATHY.

we gotta break that apathy. and especially as christians we should be fighting for justice.

that is God's will to bring justice and peace to this world and an end to suffering.

me and my sisters here have just been praying for revival at Yonsei.

cause God's gunna raise up a mighty army here to end the injustice in this world.

we gotta start praying yo! start holding prayer meetings apart from just sunday service/ small group.

we are the church. wherever we are. wherever two or three gather in His name.

we are living in a crucial time in history in which there is the greatest prevalence of injustice in the world and we have that opportunity to play a larger role in fighting it.

we are here to set the captives free!!!!!!

those who fight for justice. the nations will be given to them.

and their names will be remembered.

i was real bothered by something else too.

the fact that my friend Cheeia wanted to come out with me tonight to emmaus

but she couldnt cause she was sick.

and now i clearly understood why the enemy has been physically attacking her.

cause Cheeia is special in that she is going to be instrumental in the fight for justice.

many many blogposts ago i wrote that two people here had very special destinies.

and one of them i shall reveal now cause i told her today is Cheeia.

please just pray for full restoration and healing upon her.

she is someone with a huge heart and compassion for others.

before i came to korea i also prayed for my destiny to be revealed to me.

and i realized that there are just so many things God has for me that it's gunna take me the rest of my life to discover.

hehe :D

yeah but one of the things is to be a counselor and just bring healing and comfort for girls that have been abused and really just hurt in their lives.

to restore their confidence and identity.

i'm gunna start studying psychology. but even with that God's like not just counseling through psychology but counseling through the spirit. add that whole extra level to therapy. changing the realm of therapy and counseling.

shweet. i'm really excited.

i'm not really sure how in the past i believed the lie that being a christian was not fun.
cause its really the most fun you'll ever have.

dream bigger my friends. we're capable of much greater things