Day 85

Today was Jay's birthday

but i think i was happier than he was.

i love when its someone else's birthday :D

so much fun ahhhhhhh

weather was so bomb.

nice and sunny not even one cloud in the sky.

and at night it was all cool and breezy

akakakaakakakaka. i love it i love it i love it.

had lunch with my homie erick.

at morning wood. yes there is a restaurant here called that..

we real talked as usual.

be encouraged erick, you gunna get blasted again real soon.

you are sealed with God's love.

missed half of topics class while talkin with erick.

but my buddy james took attendance and marked me present.

yay. mmmm that's what happens when you got the almighty watchin your back.

skipped half of korean.

yeah...that one was just me ^^"
but while i was skipping korean i saw a table that was just advocating justice for Africa.
and i was like man. as a christian i need to be the one caring more about world issues!!
so i went to go check it out but it was all in korean.
the lady gave me a pamphlet anyways and i told her thanks and went on my merry way.
i was staring at this pamphlet like i cant read this what should i do with this.
so i prayed over it and asked God that i would give this pamphlet to the right person.
got on the subway and i see this nun sitting there. she was praying i think and not sleeping cause she was holding prayer beads and had this look of peace on her face.
so i was like hehehe i think i know what i gotta do.
she was holding a backpack in her lap and as i got off the subway i just gently placed the pamphlet on her backpack.
now i dont know what she was praying about. perhaps she is being called to Africa?
all i know is that when she opens her eyes she is gunna see this pamphlet that just randomly came out of nowhere. and i think she's gunna take it as sign ;]
God works in mysterious ways.

went back to class and it flew by like in a mila second.

today is just awesome man.

erick was so bitter that i was being so jolly.

i am like santa on crack right now.

after class imma bout to go eat cereal.

but my sister Marie was like nahh that is not a meal!

so she made me grilled cheese sandwiches *.*

and she put butter on it.

i am so blessed.

our familia girls decided to gather together in Marie's dorm.

to just pray for whatever was on our hearts at the moment.

we spent time just praising the Lord.

and i could just feel Him smiling down on us. man he was so super pleased.

and then we shared about stuff and then prayed for like an hour.

except it felt like 5 min. i never knew how much fun spending time with God could be.

prayed for just alot of good stuff for us, mama Tina, our friends and people in general.

our student leader Anna is just anointed with prayer man. words so powerful and on point.

there is gunna be fire in this place. bring it.

afterwards went to go exchange jay's shirts at h&m.

its like these two very fruity/ easter colors baby blue and baby chick yellow.

v-neck and super tight style.

yeah....way to give off the raging i love men vibe ;]

a shame really that H&m was closed when we got there.

went to the chicken place to 'surprise' jay with dinner and cake

except i dont think he was very surprised...

sall good it was a lot of fun with the jeju team.

me, tina, gina, ann, cheeia, emma, jay, chad, and chris

i love you guys. my yonsei family <3

we gunna have a reunion in Vegas next May 2012.

PROMISE !! big intimidating eye stare*

and dont worry ann i'll have a baby for you by then ;]

and i'll get zach galifianakis from hangover to babysit it while we play the slots.

ahh happy sigh*

such a wonderful day and a wonderful life.

i'm waking up early tomorrow to go on another treasure hunt!

imma have some mind blowing stories. be prepared.

goodnight :D

team Jeju :D
chris, tina, cheeia, ann, gina, jay, me, chad (and emma taking the pic)

Day 84

AHHH today was sucha happy day :DD

woke up bright and early 9 am to go to sunday swim

did some fire praying.

met with my friend from jeju Ranhee!

service was bomb. pastor eric brought it like none other.

i was so delighted. so into the worship and message today.

made me so joyful.

the message today was about waiting for that miracle.

cause when you wait and trust in the Lord.

He's gunna bring it. double portions!

i've just been really grown so much and been blessed these past couple of days.

started out in so much pain but then it turned into so much peace.

and man i was so silly to have been upset before cause God was just like chill rebekah.

"For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

mmm God is so good.

He has given me a new heart.

i'm not fully used to it yet. this heart of love and peace. but i'll get there.

and right now i'm learning to just grow in intimacy with my Father.

cant light on fire unless you got the oil stored up right.

on the way back from New Philly i saw a caterpillar in the subway

and named him caterpi.

he was cute until chris tried to pick it up and chuck it at me o.O

but yeah man i used to be like that caterpillar but now im a butterfly.

free as a butterfly can be. mwhaahahahahaha

after i got back from church went to go eat bbq. nomnom

and then watched Thor.

to be honest. please dont kill me...

i didn't think it was that great. i mean it was pretty to watch like i was like oooh this is a glimpse of what heaven is gunna be like.

the shirtless scene was eh. yeah..

and the story wasnt as epic.

especially when you know of a more epic story..

summer is near.

oh yeah to my chubby cheeks friend Jay.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ~.~

i have many many corny things to say.

but i'll save you from the embarrassment :D

just thank you for being born.

Day 83

Today was the third day since i submitted.

I said that i would be completely healed by the third day.

and indeed i was :)

heal like a wolverine bam!

I just felt so much peace and joy today.

Ate lunch and then went to Namsan tower again with the girls.

Shopped a lil at Myeongdong bought me a bathing suit ;]

i shall look like that model wearing that bathing suit.

give me 2 weeks! yes i can do it.

me and gina's diet goes like this: eat less.

which is basically eat what a normal person eats and don't OD on food.

we plan to take taxis up the mountain this time.

tina and ann's taxi driver takes them up to the top

but ours took some weird way and he ended up just dropping us off at the bottom of the mountain

-___________- this is the third time i have to climb up this mountain.

gina and i are huffing and puffing.

i try to make it better by singing miley. its the climb.

we cant see the tower. but i was like trust that its there!

it's closer than we think. and its gunna be so worth it.

we can do it!

ahh..so much symbolism right there.

gina told me something very interesting today.

i love her. she's like this wise, cute hello kitty.

and she's so simple.

sometimes the most awesome truths are in the simplest form.

she said "sometimes people mistake loneliness for love.

some people don't wanna be lonely, they just like having the company

just like the thought of always having someone there"

i hope that i'll be differentiate between the two.

and in the end i'll see if i'm able to recognize love from everything else.

i mentioned this a couple times before.

but at Namsan tower couples do this lock thing to symbolize endless love.

and so cheeia and gina put their locks on the fence for the boyfriends back home.

even though i dont have a boyfriend i decided to do a lock this time too.

i had two locks. one white one and one apple green one with a tag on it.

the white one i dedicated to God. and on the front i wrote "You are my one desire"

and on the back i wrote "My strength and my shield"

the green one i dedicated to my future husband. and on the front i wrote "i waited my whole life for you"

and on the back i wrote "i can wait a little longer, until we meet again"

the tag i left blank. that is to write the name of that person later.

the two locks came with two keys. the key that opens the lock for God i threw off the mountain to symbolize the endless love. and the other key i kept. that's the key i'm gunna give to the one i love when that time comes.

harharhar i'm so cornyyyyy. hehe but i love it.

gina was making fun of me cause my e's look like a's.

and she thought i wrote "untill we meat again"

my mind isn't always on food....

came back and we got some mcdonalds :D

chris and chad wanted me to get them 6 snackwraps. those fatties...

and it was so awkward. i go up to the cashier clearly by myself.

and am like "yes...can i get a shanghai chicken burger and 6 chicken snackwraps please"

"um....do you mean 6 chicken nuggets?"

"no..i want 6 snackwraps. yeppp.."

and the cashier gives me the weirdest look like mmm this girl is about to go crazy with the snackwraps.

yeah...dont judge me man.

get back. do some deep praying in my room and ask God to trust me.

I'm alot stronger than i was before.

so go downstairs and have lots of fun with my frands :D

played kings. ahh happy sigh* good times..

i always lose in never have i ever.

i take it as a compliment. got that life experience ya know.

i will just end with this.

this is for you.

"Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others" -Proverbs 12:15

so i will continue to have hope because i know.

that you are not a fool.

Day 82

woken up today by a text from cheeia.

she was able to get me a ticket for akaraka!

akaraka is this big deal event at yonsei

where students gather together and cheer

and all these celebs (Gna, 2NE1, etc) come and perform too

so all the tickets were sold out of course.

but cheeia is pretty awesome with her connections so she was able to get me one.

as i was getting ready to leave

i just got this impression that i shouldnt go.

i didnt really understand why, i kind of suspected the reason.

but i was just like okay i'm gunna listen.

so i called cheeia and told her i couldnt go even though i felt real bad about it since she got me a ticket.

but i just felt that i shouldnt go.

about 20min later chris called me and asked if i wanted his ticket.

and i said no i'm not going.

i hung up the call with chris and then i got the impression to get the ticket from chris.

except i'm out of minutes so i cant call him back. so i was like okay if chris calls me back i'll take that as a sign.

and so like 30 sec later chris calls back.

whoa very cool...

get chris's ticket and am skipping on my merry way to the stadium.

and realize that wait. i'm not gunna go and sit by myself lemme call them and ask where they are.

except my phone is useless...

so i ask these random people that i sorta know for a phone.

and this guy lets me use his phone.

i'm calling cheeia but she doesnt pick up.

and while i'm calling i overhear the guy and his friend talking about how they just need one more ticket and everyone in their group can go.

sigh....i think i know what i gotta do.

so i was like here you can have my ticket.

and then they were like no way...

and i was like yeah. my friend isn't picking up her phone anyways to you can have it.

and they were like call her again! this isn't an event you wanna miss.

so i called cheeia again and she didn't pick up.

i gave the guy his phone back and my ticket with a nice smile and walked away.

and he said wait! what is your name.

it's Rebekah.

My name is Rebekah So.

And i hope that it is a name that will not be forgotten.

instead of akaraka i went to korean class.

and there was me and only 4 other kids that showed up today.

so stone face let us out an hour early :)

went back to my room and finally skyped with my bff judy!

havent seen her face in 3 months cause this poopoo face girl has made no effort to contact me.

but sall good...i still love her.

then marie came by to scoop me up

we are going to New Philly Friday Fire night.

i will be blessed.

i was so excited to go. i dont think i've ever been so excited to go to church.

cause nowadays i just hunger so much for God.

He comes to those with broken hearts.

My heart really needs Him now. I really need His strength.

Pastor Marcus preached and it was real good.

convicted me to pray more for Korea.

that is why i am here. to bring restoration to this land.

and it starts with this campus Yonsei.

so tomorrow i am going to go on a prayer walk around Yonsei.

its gunna be awesome.

i had been attacked with so many distractions from the beginning of this trip.

cause the enemy knew what my purpose was here

but now i'm back and i will stomp the enemy! and shine light into darkness.

in the quietness after the destruction that lies from the week of festivities.

and God will hear my prayers for this campus.

He will raise a mighty army here at Yonsei.

and they will go out and shine light in this nation and restore it.

both North and South.

I am thinking about all this while P.Marcus is preaching.

and i'm all like yeah imma write this in my blog.

its amazing how i kept up with this blog.

my friends and family have just been encouraging me to write.

and have told me that they are just seeing a change in me.

makes me very happy :)

and then! wow God is so good.

After P. Marcus is done preaching. Pastor Christian calls all the people with the gifts of writing to receive prayer and be blessed.

so i go up too. since he specially mentioned blogs and creative writing.

and as people are praying for us.

i'm just like yes. God's favor is on me. and the things i write are going to have the power to change.

books. poems. songs. blogposts. anything!

it's gunna be inspiring and bring fame to His name.

reach out to Christians and non-Christians.

i also dont think its a coincidence that i signed up for psych and creative writing classes for the Fall semester.

and then i also got an interesting revelation.

hmm hmmm this is interesting if this actually happens.

which i must have faith that it will!
or else i'll just look like a fool..

God was telling me that I will meet a North Korean defector.

and i will write her story.

I will write her story in such a way that the readers will be able to feel all the pain that she went through.

but also the hope and the restoration in her life.

and her will and desire for the nation to be set free.

And her story will convict many hearts.

I will meet her soon.

oohhh this is very exciting..

i'm very thankful for this blog. and i also thank everyone who reads it.

its given me a lot of comfort to write. especially these past few days.

may you be blessed~

good night :D

Day 81

Thurs May 12th

if you are reading this.

please pray for me.

that my spirit will be strengthened.

That i may have patience and peace.

full healing.

and that I trust in the Lord's promises for me.

I must admit. last night i thought i was at peace.

but then my familia sisters told me something

and then just the slightest worry came to mind

next thing i know i was breaking down again.

pain to the point of death.

man sometimes i just wish for a moment i could switch off the korean button.

koreans are so overdramatic.

i wanna be mad gangsta like the russians.

change my name to Rasputin!

Though it pained me to the point of death

I submitted.

Though I wept until I lost my breath

I trusted.

I'm learning so much what it means to trust my Father.

i'm like a baby again. and without Him i can’t even breathe.

i'm constantly looking to Him for comfort and strength.

Last night there was a point where i literally wanted to just give up.

I felt so helpless, so weak.

I was crying so hard i couldn't breathe so i desperately clinged onto my bible for strength and in it was something i wrote before my talk with Tina.

Before I knew of the pain to come. for some reason during poli class that morning i wrote this.

I called it my modern day Psalms.

Oh my poor daughter

How my heart goes out to you

How I long to wipe away those tears

Why do you continue to live in poverty

When you are a Princess

My God, my god

I bring these troubles on myself

Why do I still feel the chains on my wrists

When you have already set me free

Oh my Lord, in you I trust

You are my strength,

my shield, my comfort

Bring me full healing and peace

My child look at me

And recognize my love

In my eyes you are pure

For I look at the heart

And your heart is pleasing to me

I will refine it seven times

And make it pure as gold

I will clothe you in a beautiful,

white wedding dress

For you are my bride

In my Lord I trust

and give all thanks

I am filled with joy

And peace will be with me

for all the days to come.

I just sat there and read it over and over again.

Until I felt my spirit be strengthened

and all was calm.

fell asleep like a baby.

Woke up this morning feeling mad gangster.

I even wrote G on my hand to remind me.

pretty cool how much strength was in me.

For the rest of the day i was pretty decent.

There were times when my emotions would almost breakdown but then my spirit held fast. 

I'm learning so much how to rely on God.

and have my flesh and soul under the authority of my spirit.

at night i went to taco bell with the group

mostly to clear my head and do some social eating.

follow me guys i know where it is.

chad was like i would not trust rebekah's directions to anywhere

except taco bell.

afterwards our group split up and it was just me, chad, chris, cheeia, and sarah.

man the original group from the beginning of this trip.

we went to a chill drink place, played games, and then nrb.

it was some fun fun times.

before we drank we had to say oppa in a funny/disgusting voice.

i ended up saying oppa alot and drinking alot of water...

never get sick of water. or bread.

you never hear anyone be like i hate water and i hate bread.

wink wink*

then while we were playing games. a star fell from the sky.

literally the star sign hanging on the ceiling fell and hit me on the face.

nice....i'll take it as a good sign..

even though i was having alot of fun with them.

there were times when i needed to leave the room.

cause i felt so overwhelmed with thoughts

was walking around outside, talking to God

and He reminded me something i told to a friend before.

No one forced me to make this choice. It was my decision.

And i just had to remember why i wanted it.

To keep reminding myself the reason.

the reason i would endure all this.

I remembered my talks with two of my friends today

telling them my situation.

and the more i defended my spiritual leader and my Father

the more sure i felt that this was what i had to do.

I remembered the time Chris taught me how to make an origami rose.

And i suck at origami cause i have no patience for it at all whatsoever.

and i tried so many times before by myself but gave up.

but one day i really wanted to make one.

And so i tried but it got so confusing. I really did not know what to do with that stupid paper.

and i was so frustrated i wanted to scream. i actually did a little. and just wanted to crumble it up into a tiny ball and throw it away.

but then Chris helped me through it. and folded the hard parts for me. and i watched and then i tried to do it. and messed up and then Chris would have to show me again.

Finally after a very long time. I had a beautiful rose in front of me.

And i was so so happy.

so happy i endured through it all.

there were times when i tried to do this on my own and failed.

but now i have my Father to guide me. to help me.

to show me the way when i am so confused and frustrated.

to encourage me when i just want to give up.

And in the end i will be so filled with joy.

Because i endured it all.

and I will see the fruits of my labor.

not only for myself. but also for those i love.

Only the patient know Love.

Day 80

today started out as another wonderful day as usual.
went to my poli class for the first time in like a month.
didn't even leave after i took attendance.
i'm blossoming into a beautiful student.

skipped on over to pasta wed with cheeia.
the sky was beautiful the trees were so green.
i was singing ladidadadia. and i had so much peace and joy.

cheeia and i talked about my testimony and i was teaching her about the gospel.
it was really warming and awesome.
cheeia is sucha warm-hearted joyful person to be around.
you cant help but smile and laugh when you are around her.

korean class with stone face today.
it was pretty chill since like 2/3rds of the class didnt show up today.
we had to explain our dream house in korean.
except i went to the board and drew a picture.
mmm yes aquarium tank with my baby sharks here.
and squidward the squid.
my jacuzzi room. elevator opens up to my penthouse.
balcony. yadidadida.
my house is gunna be awesome ;]

right after class i had planned to meet up with my spiritual mama Tina.
i've been struggling with something since the beginning of this trip.
something rooted probably many many years ago.
i was very hopeful and trusted in God so i thought the time would be very encouraging like last night was.
but man......it was hard yo.

From the beginning i told Tina that i would submit under her authority.
whatever she told me i would do.
a part of me knew what she was going to say. but i really did not want to hear it.
even though i knew it was right, it hurt so much to hear it.
i cried so hard i couldn't even breathe.
i cant even remember the last time i cried like that. maybe when i was a little child.
to let go of something you love is the hardest thing in the world.

there were many things i could have said.
things i could have argued. compromised.
but God said no. submit fully.
i did. but afterwards i felt so sad.

after Tina dropped me back off at the dorms.
i went to my familia sister's Marie's room for comfort.
and my other sister Katherine also came.
we sat chatted, blew bubbles.
so many times i wanted to leave and just be alone but they wouldnt let me.
man i love them so much

even though they were with me to comfort me. i felt so depressed.
looked into the mirror and my eyes were beyond sad.
then they got fried chicken.
and they were like rebekah you want some?
and i was like no...i have no appetite right now
as i picked up a piece of chicken and started eating.
and then i ate like all their fries...

i felt so much better :)
wow......wow sometimes i shake my head at my simplicity.
how is that even possible.
i am so ridiculous sometimes.

then we listened to the sermon podcast from New Philly by Pastor Christian.
and it was about who shepherds our souls.
basically we have our body, soul (mind, will, emotions), and our spirit.
those who believe in Christ receive the spirit. but most are stuck living in the body and the soul.
and many Christians as well. even though they have the spirit. they let the body and soul have authority over the spirit.
now our direct relationship with God is through our spirit.
but our leaders shepherd our souls. and that comes through full submission.

man talk about perfect timing...

for so long i was stuck living in the flesh and in my soul.
but i must now rely on the spirit. and i have strength that i have never experienced before.
strength from my Lord.
i have never ever ever ever ever. in my life. gotten over something so quickly.
as im writing this i am baffled by how much at peace i am.

i looked at my reflection once more and saw a face that was changed.
God is so good.

Day 79

its been mad raining and gloomy here this week.
but sall good.
let the rain fall down and wash away
today is buddha's bday so no classes!!!

woke up at 11 to go to the Hi-Seoul festival.
ready for the festivities!
then cheeia pushed back the time to 1.
so i just chilled. read some psalms.
ate my cereal.
until i found a baby hair in it...
why you lil ! what are you doing in my cereal?!
lost my appetite.
blech kaw kaw. feels like i got that hair in my throat.

cheeia tina and i went to the festival.
but it was not very festive.
basically just rainy and everything needed tickets.that you had to wait to get at least an hour and 30 min in advance of the shows.
to then wait in another line to get in.
mmmm fantastic.
so we just took a smiling picture with the festival sign like we had an awesome time
and then bounced like tigger away.

went to hongdae. got some contacts.
and then found the dog cafe!!
ah yes i am def opening one of these in the states.
basically its a cafe with dogs in it.
and you get to pet them and play with them.
and this one dog was so chubby and cute.
i was just squeezing his chubby cheeks.
he liked it.

tonight EMMAUS was special.
cause they separated the guys and the girls.
so the girls just went to sarah's house to chill and eat.
we listened to the testimonies of the staff and then broke into smaller groups.
i just felt this burden on my heart to share what ive been going through.
and from that there was so much healing.
confessing has a lot of power.
the girls in my group prayed for me and they were so encouraging man.
i love them so much <3 my sisters yo.
3 sisters confirmed the same image. you know what it means when something is confirmed 3 times :D
and it was the image of me in a white wedding dress.
so clean and so pure.
i am pure. and i'm a total princess man.
cause i'm the daughter of the King of all kings.

came back to the dorms. smiling like a maniac.
and people were just so nice and friendly to me.
i guess when you smile. you are more approachable.
yay.

chilled with my dorm girls. and saw the movie Taken.
about a father rescuing his daughter.
man Liam Neeson in that movie was a total g.
and whole time i was like yeah. mm yeah my Father is total g too.
the enemy tries to mess with me and He will show them no mercy.
wabam. can't touch me.

its raining outside. but i will get wet for chicken.
ate chicken with chubby cheeks.
i was very happy.
the end.

i must wake up super early tomorrow to go to my politics class.
must go because i havent been to class in a month ^^"
good night.