The Power of Caring

Growing up, I considered myself to be a caring person. I was always the one listening to my friends' problems and taking on their burdens. But over the years, as those who I cared about betrayed me or took me for granted, I began to become more cynical. I began to believe the lie that in this world no one actually cares about others. Everyone only cares about themselves and they only pretend to care about another person when they can get something out of that person.

Sometimes we pray things like "help me to love" to God without understanding how He will teach us these things. Sometimes we don't expect Him to teach us something through our pain and tears.

Lately, God has been teaching me about the power of caring. But it definitely hasn't been easy.
I have been confronted with how little I care about others because of my selfishness, laziness, and fear. I honestly don't care about that person's issues, I don't care enough to do something about it, and I'm afraid that if I do care, that person will just end up not appreciating me anyways.

I broke down crying in bible study today. how embarrassing. because I realized the heart of the problem was that I forgot just how much God cares about me. Everything that I do must overflow from what I receive from God. and I haven't been able to care for others because I'm so focused on taking care of myself without being able to see how much God cares for me and how He's placed people in my life who genuinely care for me.

I remember one time it was pouring outside and I didn't have an umbrella. While a friend and I were waiting in the Chick-fil-A line I told him that by the time I get my food and walk out, the rain is going to stop. He asked me how I knew this, and I told him it was because I prayed to God that the rain would stop by the time I get my food.  He gave me a weird look and said "I think God has bigger things to worry about"

but back then I had that kind of faith that God loved me and cared for me. there are alot of things that I'm sure are more "important" but still God's love for me is that great. He sees me even though I'm so small because I am valuable to Him. and sure enough right when I walked out, the rain had completely stopped.

I had forgotten just how much God cares for me. yes He cares for those around me. those who I will be serving in ministry and caring for. but I will only end up frustrated with myself and them if I don't have my foundation in God. before I learn how to care for others, I must first realize how much He cares for me.

it took me many mistakes to realize that I am not going to get that care from guys that will come and go.

it took me awhile to understand that my dad cares for me by feeding me and my mom cares for me by buying me clothes and nagging me.

and it took me to the point of brokenness to see how much God cares for me. that though He is the God of the universe He is mindful of me. He looks after me and is concerned about me. deep down I think it's everything that we ever wanted and needed. to matter to someone.

I must remember this. no matter what I'll go through. I know that everything is going to be okay.
because I have an Almighty God who cares for me.

Oh how He loves us so.

The story of the dog and his master

One day a dog fell in a dried up well. The dog thought, "OH NO! I need to call my master to help me!" So he made noises for his master to hear. The master heard, and he came. To save his dog, the master decided to add more dirt into the well so that the dog can stand on a higher ground and more come out more easily.

However from the dog's perspective, it didn't look right. He thought, "What is my master doing!? :'( He's trying to kill me by burying me?!" So the dog continued to bark and try to speak to his master, but his master seemed to add dirt to the well even faster.

The dog was disappointed, but he decided to stay strong. Whenever dirt fell on him, he shook it off. Some time later, there was enough dirt added to the well for the dog to jump out of it. When he came out of the well, the dog wanted to ask his master, "Why did you try to kill me?" but he realized he was foolish when he was greeted by his OVERJOYED master, who had been working so hard to save him.

I LOVE this story. Sometimes I think we can feel this way. When troubles come our way, we might think, "What is GOD doing???" BUT, we need to "shake it off" and stay strong!!! =]

God be our solution

More, more, more!
it's never enough
Build higher!
Get larger!
Become smarter!

We will make our names great among the earth
and rule over all things
No fear of God in us
We are our own kings

More, more, more!
We toil under the sun
toil our own destruction
We serve our own master: money
cursed be this land, all living creatures
use all things for our own gain
Is there no end to this?
Is there no solution?

Or is it true that one man
can fix all of this?
Who is he who makes all things new?
Jesus, we wait for you.

How to Trust

We didn't trust you
but instead in our own ways
We thought we were building a tower
instead of a pit for us to fall into
Look at this mess we made LORD
this mess we made
What can we do now
We have nowhere to turn, but up
Our hope is in you LORD
Our hope is in you
You are the only hope for us all

How to trust
When we've hurt so much
Teach us our ways
Your unfailing promises
Who can we trust but you LORD?
Who can we trust
in a world where people hurt so much

We trust you to change us
to be trustworthy ones
Rebuild the trust LORD
Restore us to the truth

A Distant Memory

Is it better to hurt?
or not feel at all
You try and try
and try
for nothing at all
Was it love?
or just a dream
Someone who once meant the world to me
Soon became but a distant memory

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us

Their hearts are far from You
Eyes filled with malice
Mouths full of anger and lies
They spit at you
Though the sun declares who You are
They have darkened their eyes from knowing You
Why should you even care?
Just destroy them all and show them
that You are who You say You are

But You are slow to anger
Compassionate and abounding in love
You have come not to condemn the world
But to save it
They hate you, yet you still died for them
While my own father was once your enemy
You loved him and saved him
Perhaps in that crowd there are those
who will one day come to know You
Who will repent for their unbelief
Perhaps they will have children
who will praise Your Name.

In a dream

You told me to build an ark
I said how LORD?
You gave me instructions to build an ark
I said I would need supplies to build the ark
And I would need more people
You gave me people to build an ark
But I fought with them and left

Then I was lonely and asked you to help me
You told me to surrender my life
And I said that I would
You brought back people in my life
And we began to build the ark

But every time we tried
Some would argue about how to build it
Some would take the provisions
and keep them for themselves

You told us to build an ark to save us
Yet we disobeyed
When the flood comes only the faithful remain

But you promised us that you would not destroy us
And so you sent your son to teach us how to build this ark
But we took your son and killed him
We wanted to do things our own way

Yet death could not hold him down
He destroyed their arks and built One that would last forever

Where is that ark now?
Hovering over us.
How will we find it?
We must die to ourselves
Admit that there is no one who is good but You, God
Step into the center of Your will
Fight with faithfulness and love

The ark has already been built for us
We must choose to believe
And when the time comes
As fast, strong, and powerful as a whirlwind
Those arks will come crashing down
And then we will be able to eat with the LORD.

She's a rice-ist

Setting: restaurant at a beach on Jeju Island

nom nom nom. eating eating eating...
"well I guess none of us are going to be taking off our shirts at the beach....."

ahahahahaha.

Ann takes off her belt so she can eat some more. We notice that she's not eating any of her rice.

"Ann why aren't you eating your rice?"
Ann: "Cause I don't like purple rice, I only like white rice"

Tina: "yeah, she's a rice-ist"

ahh....goodtimes...

What happens to this vowel

Setting: Korean class

Teacher: [points to symbol on the chalkboard and asks student] What happens to this vowel?
Student: It's replaced.
Teacher: No it's not replaced. It's dropped and then you add another vowel in its place.

awkward silence.....wait a min.....ahahaha....

Fire Alarms are no joke

It was a quiet Friday morning. I was chillin in my room looking up ideas for my psychology research topic and then all the sudden I hear the fire alarm go off. They have so many fire drills in Walker apts so usually my roomie Esther and I just ignore them ^_^"

I walk into Esther's room (she just woke up)
Me: You going outside? 
Esther: I don't know should we....what if it's a real fire?
Me: nahh...it's probably just another drill. 
Esther: they shouldn't have so many fire drills cause then when it's a real fire we won't take it seriously
Me: I know right! omg that's a great psychology research topic. yayyyyy I found one.

go back on my computer and look up research related to fire drills. while I'm doing this I happen to see through my window three cop cars pull into the parking lot. uh oh.......

run into Esther's room.
Me: Esther! Esther! why are there actual cops in the parking lot?!
we both huddle by her window. the cops are telling the people in the parking lot to back away from the building.
Me: uh ohh....what if this is serious... 
Esther: no.. but look they are near the other building over there, so at least it's not our building. 
Me: mmmm okay

Fire alarm turns off. Oh I guess it was nothing. Go back to my room, look up research on this topic and I can't find anything. while I'm searching I hear a loud siren from a fire truck. oh noo.......

run back into Esther's room. Esther! do you hear that!!
We peek out the window. oh nooo oh nooo it better not turn into our parking lot. 
it does. and parks right in front of our building.

about five more cop cars show up. and another fire truck.
the fire fighters and police officers are gathered on the sidewalk right in front of our window and talking with serious faces.

at this point we are freaking out.
omg omg what are we going to do! ahhh we can't go out now. that's so embarrassing cause then they'll know that we were hiding in here and ignored the fire alarm!! 

we're peaking through our blinds. discussing our options..i smell something unpleasant...
me: omg Esther you didn't even brush your teeth yet....
Esther: I just woke up! 

while we are talking we see the fire fighters carrying axes and heading into our building. and then a few seconds later somebody is banging on our door really loudly.

ahhhhhhhhh what do we do, what do we do!!! 

Esther and I run to our door. Esther's peeking out of that tiny hole in our door.
Me: Okay okay. this is what we'll do. when they're gone. we'll run out into the hallway and exit through the back door. 
the voices outside fade.
Me: is the coast clear?
Esther: yeah

I open the door and as soon as I open it a fire fighter is RIGHT in front of me. I literally almost run into him. SHOCK. o.O he kindly tells us that we need to evacuate.

oh okay ^__^" sorry. excuse me. we awkwardly walk around him and run into two other fire fighters coming up the stairs. oh excuse me ^_^;; try to take the back door but it's blocked. so we need to exit through the front door where EVERYBODY is watching and awkwardly walk past the crowd of fire fighters and police officers.

We still haven't found out what happened in our building...but I think we both learned our lesson today.

Fire Alarms are no joke.