For the love we've lost

I'd rather not loved at all than to have loved and lost.
than to feel the absence of you
they say that time heals
but whoever said that must not have really loved
time dulls the pain
but the pain still lingers on
to the point when some days i wish i had never met you
see i was fine before i met you

but to rather have loved and lost than to not loved at all
would mean that you, or the experience of love, was worth the pain
yet was it really worth it when I can no longer feel the joy of being with you
in the end, memories and just memories.

I came to the realization though that i would rather have loved and lost than to not have loved at all
for reasons that are different from what i once thought
when i saw those who have never loved and lost. i used to envy them
they never knew the unique pain of this type of loss
but see they never knew...
the curiosity in me would have created restlessness
insanity from the wondering and waiting

I am now mildly content in having loved and lost
because at least I know what it feels like
not only to have loved but I know what it feels like to have lost my world, my hopes and dreams, my heart.
to be able to feel empathy for those who have also lost.
to be able to understand and be with them in their pain is love gained for the love we've lost.