About six years ago during my time studying abroad in Korea, when I was growing in my intimacy with God, I was prayed over by the members and leaders of New Philly church before I left to come back to the States.
Two of the symbols I remember that came up was an eagle and sunflower. Which also happened to be like my fav bird and my fav flower...how did they know...
Eagle the mascot of Yonsei university: where I studied abroad at and encountered God.
Eagle which also happened to be Biola's mascot: where I ended up going to grad school at.
So now this sunflower...which I had of course forgotten all about..
It's no secret that I was not happy about matching to internship in Kansas. like what the hell is there to do in boring ass Kansas. I don't know anyone there. and I was so sad to leave my friends in California. so I was quite bitter for some time about it. literally to the point where I was even like I hope something really bad happens so I don't have to go.
The monday before I left for Kansas. I was having like this really deep prayer time with God. And I could feel his presence so strongly with me. I was telling him how much I didn't want to go and being raw with him and through the tears, these words came to my mind. I'm taking you there to save you. And the image of my sad little sunflower plant came to mind.
Now see I'm a very bad plant caretaker. Plant killah. Like the touch of death when it comes to plants. Even succulents and cacti die under my care. But I really like sunflowers, so I bought this grow your own sunflower thing. supposibly easy to grow. and I followed all the instructions to the best of my abilities. and little sprouts actually started springing up!
But over the weeks, the plant become very thin and frail. the leaves were brown. a very hopeless looking sunflower plant...
And as I was thinking about my sunflower plant. these words came to mind, you are like that plant. if you stay here you will not grow, but I am taking you to Kansas so you can become a stronger plant, so you can be healthy and I got this image of this fully grown sunflower plant, one that could not be easily destroyed.
These words and images were so clear, I knew that this was God's plan for me. And so my heart began to soften towards going to Kansas. As much as I didn't want to admit it. I knew I needed to go. I had been spiritually, emotionally, and physically sick for the past few months.
But just to make things extra clear. God sent me someone to confirm his plans. Later that same day, my roommate's friend brought over something for me. A fully grown sunflower plant in this potted pot.
And the crazier part was when she explained to me the meaning behind the plant. She proceeded to tell me that she felt strongly convicted by God to bring this sunflower plant to me to take to Kansas. The weak seedlings (my sunflower plant) was who I saw myself as: immature and weak. but in actuality, I'm going to very strong and mature, if not already, like the plant she brought me.
We may forget but God never forgets.
So far Kansas has not been bad. went to the healing room at prayer house and I haven't thrown up in the past 10 days (I had been throwing up nearly everyday for the past two months and had been diagnosed with gastritis). Things have been so low key, and I have no friends here. that I've been desperately spending a lot of time with God. growing in intimacy again.
and today!!! God gave me an amazing gift. psychologists I feel like are pretty jaded people. and over the years I feel like I've became more and more jaded to the point where I couldn't really feel excitement anymore. like it's pretty depressing when you're not impressed or shocked by anything..
I thought that Misty Edwards, my fav worship artist, was no longer at the international house of prayer (ihop) but today I just happened to go at the exact time she was there. 6-8pm. I had no idea she was gonna be there. so I was so pleasantly surprised.
6 years ago I was at the prayer room weeping as Misty Edwards sang and played like the most angelic stuff on the piano. and today I can't believe I was back in the prayer room weeping again for two hours straight as she brought us into worship. and in that I felt so loved by God. I experienced true joy and peace once again. And despite my original unwillingness to come to Kansas, I thanked him that he loved me enough to bring me here.
Shortly after I arrived to Kansas. One of my fellow interns at the counseling center was giving me a tour of the area and telling me about the state tree, the state bird, even the state amphibian lol...
Then I asked him. what's the state flower?
Oh it's a sunflower! he replied. Kansas is the sunflower state.
God never ceases to amaze.
|little miss Rebekah as a Sunflower|