Trust in the Process

Dear God,

As usual I start out my journal entries with: it's been awhile since I wrote to you. 

Right now I'm at Huntington Beach in California, and I wonder where I'll be in the future when I'm reading this again. 

A client once told me that even though she's not religious, she had a spiritual experience when she first came to the beach in California as she was in awe of the beauty of your creation. She said that in that moment she knew that there has to be a God. 

It's amazing how you created the land and the sea, the ocean breeze. 

These days I've been feeling pretty restless as I think about all the changes and transitions that will take place and all the work that needs to be done. And in the areas of finances and love, more so love, I find it difficult to trust you. I want to trust you God, but after every wave or the slightest sign of trouble, I cave. 

Practicing mindfulness right now.

Feeling the warmth of the sun, sand on my toes, breeze from the ocean.

Smelling the ocean air.

Hearing the sound of the waves.

Seeing the waves rolling in. 

and in this moment I have no cares or troubles

I feel at peace

just here, you and me. 

If you were to speak to me now

and I would open my heart to listen without fear.

What would I hear. 

"TRUST IN THE PROCESS.

I AM WITH YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY"

These days God I've been thinking about how in trusting you, I have to trust that you know me. that you not only know what's best for me, but that you know me. 

I've always hated when people say "God knows what's best for you" because often we relate to you the way we relate to our parents. 

My parents. I am grateful for them but at times I couldn't trust them because growing up they always tried to force what they thought was best for me onto me. and sometimes they were right, it actually ended up being the best for me, but in that I felt as though my desires were overlooked and that they didn't really know me or cared about what I wanted, which led to resentment or rebellion. 

But you God, you are not my parents. I have to trust - I want to trust - that you know me and know what I truly want. A part of me wants to say: give me the freedom, help me get what I want right now, and let me learn from my own mistakes. 

But I think it would be better instead to pray for discernment and wisdom. help me to discern what is best for me and be aligned with your will and actually have the wisdom to choose that for myself willingly. 

Love,

Rebekah