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A Beautiful Story.

New chapters are being written
I want to go back to the old
I'm reading the past
not watching the present unfold
not caring what the future holds

I'm turning the pages backwards
Longing for the pages to come back to life
Trying to recreate them 
But they'll never be the same. 

I'm looking from the outside
Standing alone in the pages.
Crying cause things will never be this way again

And I wish my tears could wash away this part
I wish I could change this page
I wish I didn't give up here
I wish I never met you there
I wish I had ran away
I wish I had stayed. 

What if I had never quit dancing,
skating, painting, learning,
playing the piano.
Would I have been the next 
Da Vinci, Yuna Kim,
Chopin? 

It's too late to start again.
I wish I could rewrite these pages. 

Around me a little girl wakes up
She looks up at the stars
And wishes that time will go by fast
She can't wait to get her license 
to have her first kiss
to go to college
to have the freedom to make her own choices 
to become a woman. 

Did I appreciate these things? 
It all happened so fast.

I tell her that these things will happen soon
Not always in the way she expects
sometimes disappointing
but at times better than she imagines 
all these things will happen 
it'll happen soon.

One last wish I make
to surrender to the one who writes these pages
trusting that as I live out each chapter 
in all it'll be a beautiful story. 

The One You Are

And when all has passed away
I look to what remains 
And there before me, you stand 
Finally face to face

And everything that has passed
All of the hurt and the pain
You wipe my tears away 
And you tell me that now everything will be okay

And though right now this place is still the same
So far nothing has changed
Inside my heart is filled with peace
You have taken my mind away from the things that trouble me
Away from the distractions and the minute things
Of this world that will soon pass away

And there is nothing more beautiful than your love
In your presence I am in awe 
Of the One you are 

And there nothing more precious than the gift of eternal life
To be with you forever 
Forever you will reign 
My Father, My Prince of Peace, My Wise Counselor

---
And despite the circumstances I will hope in you
For those  who hope in you will never be disappointed. 

TOP Bigbang. I'm melting












I felt safer in North Korea

Driving in the car. discussing the life threatening experiences that our parents and grandparents went through (like being refugees, living through wars) with my roommate and other friend.

Me: wow...yeah it crazy what they went through...like we've never been in a life threatening situation like that.

except maybe when I'm driving....

Roommate: yeah I felt safer when I was in North Korea than in the car right now.


AHAHAHAHA
but did you die though....

It is well

New version of the song It is well. I think it's by Bethel?? but yeah apparently it's not even out yet so I had to write down the lyrics myself from my church's worship video and figure out the chords. ehehe I really like this song...

You can watch the video here http://holywave.sarang.com/video-detail/praise/1049
(the song starts at 7:25)

*these chords are probably not the same ones they use in the video.

It is well

Verse 1
G                                         D     Em
The waves and winds are greatly formed
G                       D               Em
Moved by the sound of His voice

G                     D              Em
Seas that are shaken and stirred
             G                                D     Em
Can be calmed and broken for my regard

Verse 2
C                  D                 Em
Through it all through it all my eyes are on you
C                  D                 Em
Through it all through it all it is well
C                  D                 Em
Through it all through it all my eyes are on you
                   D
And it is well

Pre-chorus (x2)
G                 D           Em
So let go my soul and trust in Him
                                    G       D              Em
The waves and wind still know His name (x2)

Chorus
          C             Em
It is well, with my soul (x3)
          C          D                 Em
It is well, it is well, with my soul

Verse 1
Verse 2

Verse 3
G                              D       Em
Far be it from me to not believe
G                         D        Em
Even when my eyes can't see
G                                       D     Em
And this mountain that's in front of me
          G                          D          Em
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

Verse 2
Pre-chorus (x2)

Chorus (x3)
(add) It is well, it is well with my soul

Verse 2    
                 G   
(add) with me



the weak and foolish

I've heard people say that religion is for the weak.
or that stupid people believe in God.

And I completely agree.

It says in the bible that God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

it takes humility to surrender to God and say "I don't have all the answers. God please help me"

it takes humility to depend on God's power when you realize just how helpless and limited you are at times. To understand that you need someone to save you.

"God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble"

Being humble does not mean putting yourself down but acknowledging that God is greater than you are. That you are not your own god.

I rather be lifted onto a rock than have a rock crush me.

Fully loved. Fully known


You know how people are like wow that guy is so great or that girl is so nice. Some people have such good character. Some people are so humble and lovable.

Well what about the people who are weird. Or seem like jerks but are nice deep down. The ones who aren't cool or fun. The ones who struggle with putting out an image of being great.

I think we're all very similar.  Some people have just learned to pretend better. Some people were born into better families.  Maybe we all don't deserve love and acceptance but we all need it. We all want it.

I like Jesus cause he saw through all the bullshit and into the heart of man. He saw potential in people. He loved those who were misunderstood by others. He called out those who were fake. He was merciful to those who were mistreated and gave them a new identity.

My identity is not based on what other people think of me. I must continue to remember that. Some people like me alot. Others not so much. And many don't even notice me. But I must know that through Jesus I am perfectly loved and accepted by God. I can be myself cause He not only loves me but He knows me fully. I don't have to explain myself or put on a front.

I can rest.

What I want more than food

Dear God,

It's been almost 2 and half years since I last did a juice fast. I remember in Korea something was different and I guess it is because I did lots of juice fasting. I'm excited to start this year with this juice fast to jump start living a life with the power of the Holy Spirit. I miss that. And I want that more than food. because honestly food will only satisfy you for a moment and leave you fat. 

What I want more than food...
life led by the Holy Spirit
To love you genuinely 
To love others genuinely. to be blessing onto others
To love the way you made me genuinely and become the woman you intended me to be
To live a life empowered by the Holy Spirit. to witness your healing power.
for Favor in my studies, work, everything that I do
Wisdom
Restoration for my family. Baptism of the Holy Spirit for each of my family members. for my mom to support my dad and go to church with him. 
to be 15 pounds lighter than I am now
that my friend would receive forgiveness and be set free to have genuine faith
to be completely debt free. me and my family
to glorify You with my dreams, skills, and desires
exciting opportunities
good friends and to have lots of fun. to be filled with joy
to marry my best friend 

I remember in high school hehe I did fasting and praying and you answered everything on my list except two things that I'm glad to wait for. I trust you with all this and I'm excited for this fast! thank you for the motivation and I ask for the strength to endure it joyfully and stay committed. 

Love,
Rebekah